my videos. embedding them makes my blog take too long to load so do the work yourself sister.

ok so you know how i used to complain about tingly fingers and arms and legs and numbness and loss of sensation and i thought it was because of zoloft and boozing and then i had a cat scan and an MRI and saw a neurologist and he is like there is nothing wrong and your white blood cell count is totally normal, then i went off zoloft and the numbness went away mostly? anyway, it came back yesterday in a major way, so we have concluded that i am allergic to dogs, cos it happens when they come near me, fil’s dad’s dog, tons of hair, tons of slobber, tons of big dog all over me and i can’t feel anymore. so i’m going to see an allergy specialist or whoever i go to tell my ridiculous story to. it so sucks not being able to feel the ground beneath you when you are walking in a forest or field or on a boat and you walk into shit cos you can’t feel where it is and you can’t feel burning hot water, dangerous. and you can’t feel your hair that blows especially if you have long beautiful hair like i do. i was all oh yeah this thing happens where i lose all ability to feel anything when dogs come near me i can’t feel their fur and it was like duh you have an allergy, genius.

we were walking to mr. sub in stayner on our way back and i almost keeled over on my ankle because the parking lot had a bit of slope to it you know when you are walking down the stairs in the dark and you forget how many stairs there are so on the last one when you are on ground level you do that gay leg/foot stair/air-test to see if there is one more stair or not and there isn’t so you are frozen tapping at nothing like a moron, that’s how i am walking around right now how depressed are you for me?

i guess that stair-test thing is sort of like a meme, everyone does it, no one really talks about it, sorry i exposed you stair-test.

zit update: it is big and mean and painful and i keep touching it and i will most likely explode it into the mirror before i have a bath then have a red moustache for the rest of the nite. basically i thought about my zit 80% of the weekend when people were talking to each other or to me in my head it was like zit zit zit planet mars zit etc.

fil’s dinner, jerk manwich.

we are going away tonite so this is my last post until tomorrow evening? i know, HARD, sorry guys. if it helps any i am growing a planet above my lip and i am fat-feeling and i have to be on good behaviour and i don’t get to use ANY of my solid gold A+ material (murterial haha) cos it does not go over well and no one gets it and then a tumbleweed busts through the room. so think about me with a huge zit and feeling fat and uncomfortable and prolly drinking to compensate and getting weepy i dunno. if you are desperate for an outlet you can comment to each other in my aboutraymi comment section, it is unmoderated. you can also leave me comments here to come back to and feel special about.

ok here is a poll because we are besties:

probably the most important decision you will ever have to make.

guess what i voted for.

i had the 88.

my brother’s first sapporo when they brought it out he couldn’t believe how big it was, he said it tasted like canadian.

my dad reading us seinfeld-like jokes, all rhetorical but of course i tried to answer them literally.

chopsticks virgin.

my dad called the waitress a liar (not to her face) cos she said that one order was small, so he ordered two and was like this is too much, i tried to tell him, oh well. oh yeah later on they were like where is the bread? hahahahah.

blurry, brother had this.

he wouldn’t give me a shrimp, well at first before tasting it he offered but then he got mental greedy once he tasted it. one even fell on the floor and after much convincing, he ate it too. aw.

cool story dad. my brother and dad’s thing is to make faces at me when i’m not looking and make eye-contact with each other and that signal means that i am an idiot, even when i’m just talking about something that isn’t funny or pretentious. i am the whipping boy and the burn is to compare me to a certain family member, call me by their name and it sends me into a rage.

mine.

i gave my brother a piece of salmon, i wolfed the rest.

the top left tasted like butter no i am not john favreau, dunno what they are though.

from pita-q bloor/spadina, derno the story behind the paper tho anyway, suicidal sober nite equals EAT THE WORLD and you can tell i am serious about eating because i sat down in sexyland (fil’s table) to 100% focus on this guy.

they must have made some changes cos it was actually delicious, before it was on the dry side and the bread was thicker and dustier like i just went to a bakery and not a shawarma pit-stop.

cid knows something is up.

DUDE!

the trick to raymi’s diet is save the rest for fil.

do you know how hard this is!? i can’t even believe i’m doing it AS I AM DOING IT it was like an out-of-body experience, probably my first one ever.

*sniff* anyway i sat down at my laptop and ten minutes later got up and finished it then i had the eatings guilt. didn’t last long though.

now on to dinner.

good call on the two bowls, sharing is impossible with us.

super sweet grape tomatoes, i hate tomatoes well cherry ones, i managed to eat four of these.

the leftover dressing we sopped up with some baguette so delicious i am in a fight with you guys right now just because.

+++

notice how nobody makes aids jokes anymore?

it’s like AIDS? sorry 1990! big whup AIDS!

i bet kids don’t even know what aids are anymore. my old roommate lucas, we used to call him lucasaids, cos i bought a bottle of lucozade once and i was smoking tons of pot and was manic and made everyone’s name into a crazier version of itself. we would say lucasaids! then laugh for five minutes, hyper-ventilate can’t breathe tearing up cry howl laughing then whoever caught their breath first would eep out whisper it again lucasaids then die laughing again.

sigh, aids jokes RIP.

oh man AIDS RIP how funny is that?

ok sorry, SOrrEE!

what’s funnier AIDS RIP

or

RIP AIDS?

i think RIP AIDS new blog title!

jokes about AIDS

next topic we will discuss “just saying” – my own mother said it the other day, JUST SAYING is officially over dewds.

fun with cheapness, destruction, and creativity. haha yeah oozing creativity here people.

how did i acquire these butt grabbers?

these are size 32s from h&m, where everything is loads small, or is it just my fucking hips and love handles? anyway these always fit but not in a nice enough way, and while the bigger pants look is coming back, slight bell-bottom shit, these just won’t suffice, too fucking big, i never wore them and missed the chance to whenst in-between sizes.

you can only look sort of skinny if you are barefoot and everyone around you is high on the weed and you are telling a hilarious joke, other than that you are an elephant.

haha after vogue like before i am all sad and obese with thunderclouds above my head and now my life is changed forever. oh and i am a fat water-retaining premenstrual pig right now.

HOW MUCH HAS MY FACE BEEN STOLEN FOR THIS FUCKING MODEL! AND IT’S THE SAME HAIRCUT I GOT WHEN I CAME BACK FROM ENGLAND EXACTLY! CLICK TO ENLARGE!

the lips are way too close to the bottom of the chin to be real, my eye colour, eyebrows, make-up, everything. ok i will go get a picture to compare. upon closer inspection my lips ARE that close-looking to my chin so, so!!!! look how big her nose is, look at my ski slope! obvs. they photoshopped the fuck out of it so it could match that tiny head.

amber sent this in to me so no i am not that much of a crazy.

I was looking through “101 Hairstyles” magazine and came across…. you…
or your twin. What do you think? weird, huh.

!!!!!!!!

FOLLOW THIS LINK!!!

yes this is real yes spiderman is blowing venom!

we are going to make this tonite except with our own homemade caesar dressing i’m on my way out to find anchovy paste how pretentious is that. sheena had that salad and i can’t stop thinking about it. i just showed fil the picture and he lost his mind. maybe we’ll do it with hearts of romaine. basically trying to conjure the salad from the royal york we ordered with willheim ok i guess i am pre-menstrual.

and

if you want to do some style rip-offage do hers. she makes her own clothes and will one day give me some.

this kills me everytime, fucking annex hahaha.

this guy makes me most hysterical ROFL.

this just in MY WIFE WON’T SLEEP WITH ME ANYMORE!

ew look a hedonist, please take your grapes elsewhere asshole.

compost dinner.

fil sleepies.

marinade party, chicken fillets and turkey breast.

some lady in our building left out a ton of TAKE MEs in the laundry room, we took a few chutneys, mistake, i opened and tried them, not my thing, if anyone wants two expensive jars of chutney let me know, i only opened for two seconds to try out. that rosemary garlic sauce was a bit too sweet.

BE QUIET RIZABETH I JUST WANTED TO TEST IT OUT!

iced coffee my best friend.

ew, sounds and looks like finger jammin’

nice shorts and tribal tat pfft. kidding, he is not allowed to wear those outside unless we are in a forest, and layne stanley designed that fire ring, not for him but just drew it.

siiiiiiiiiiiiick from this weekend leftover pics you guys.

check out bendover ass guy in the background.

hipster blanket.

now dean STOP fucking around, are we or aren’t we out of pabst!?

just standing around, no biggie.

what is it about the beach that makes gross old people make out like they are on ecstasy?

that woman is ADD.

aw time to pack up and go home for mashed pertaters and that special on pbs.

lay off the chillum a lil bit maybes honey you are not a rasta.

and the cure for neck/back hair is?

XL t-shirt seen!

waiting for the ferry.

beaver.

we had to go to the westin to get fil those socks. he doesn’t own white socks, black and wool only and i forbade him to wear either with these shoes.

+++

i just don’t care anymore

can’t get enough of the old man socks. or shoes.