me: i got a new bikini from h&m for 6 dollars
it is porno

Elizabeth: soowhee
is it lame

me: u have an h&m there now too finally

Elizabeth: as in
lam-eh
not lame

me: its kinda lame
lah may

Elizabeth: yeah
lah may

me: its like flesh pink tone

Elizabeth: the H and M here is in coquitlam

me: like im fucking naked

Elizabeth: far away
one is coming down town soon

me: good
i havent been to the one on queen yet

Elizabeth: theres one on queen?
who knew

me: yeah brand new

Elizabeth: thats like what 4 in the gta?
everyone must be dressing alike

me: yah bloor eaton centre queen

Elizabeth: theres one at one of those malls on the subway line for jewish people
and one at oakville place too
which is your favourite lindsay lohan?

me: yes
and dufferin mall

Elizabeth: here are your choices
2004 mean girls wilmer valderamma lohan who gets big boobies and is friends with tara reid
2005 skinny lohan who is friends with nicole AND paris and starts to make it into magazines like vogue and talk about brands like Lanvin
add herbie the love bug summer tour to 2005 lohan
and digitally reduced boobs
2006 “getting healthy” lindsay lohan who records a video for her dad in jail, hangs out with cougar mom more, but bursting at the seems lindsay lohan who we start to hear rumours and rumblings of drug abuse, excessive partying etc
or finally
2007 coke pants lohan, with 2 duis in as many months “recovery lohan” who will start taping her E true hollywood story in december
PICK

me: the one where i masturbated to her sex scene yesterday afternoon lindsay

Elizabeth: haha
worse sex scene ever PS

me: oh when she got skinny with massive tits and wears bikinis all the time lohan
i love her no matter what
she can give fil a bj i dont care

last week’s bang lime show with the two koreas pictures

that skirt was so trying to inch her way into fil’s heart.

oh so like, you’re a photographer or something teehee? do you know how many chicks use this exact same line then make up some camera that they don’t own “but want” and i am standing there giving them the meanest fucking look ever and don’t give me that i like watching my boyfriend get hit on bullshit, you only like it cos your boyfriend is ugly and it’s like a relief when some desperate girl gives him a second glance. i’ve seen chicks wait for me to walk away to the bathroom and then they go in for the kill and have the deer caught in headlights look on their face when i come back and go oh yeah questions about cameras oh how INTERESTING and please i am a fucking mile hotter than you what makes you think you have a chance.

oh hai.

for anyone who cares, bang lime is two dudes from metric. here is a short video i took.

they are pretty good, party rock music i know i tried to dance near the end in my wedges so that stands for something.

you’d think the only fancyish restaurant on toronto island would get it right, right?

all these places i wanted to sit and the chairs are all locked up so we got to sit near people with babies, don’t forget, we hate babies (sorry people with babies) and if we wanted babies, we’d have them.

we got to wait ten minutes for our drinks to come.

did you order the muscles? i know i did.

a pretty bitter brief history about how all the houses on the island were demolished.

the “drinks only” area is a spit away and yet we cannot eat there, why cos the sight of food makes alcoholics want it? retarded.

13 dollar lamb burger, decent, and that was the beginning and end of it.

8 dollar expensive garbage caesar. it was so bland. the dressing was laughable.

6 dollar shitty cream of mushroom with chicken stock soup, luke warm, and i overheard it was the bottom of the pot. joy.

i want to punch this picture i am so angry jealous.

i would get into all the eavesdropping people watching we took in but i am so miserable about dining there it will put me over the edge.

i know you all think i’m a self-indulgent know it all arrogant dick with all these asshole opinions, what makes me so different from you? sharing it with you and documenting it all that’s about it, i’m sorry if it pisses you off to read time and time again shit like this on my blog oh big surprise raymi is angry again or i’m raining on people’s good times. i dunno, is it too much to ask for some fucking quality control and have expectations? we go to an island specifically to eat at this place and it blew ass. BLEW ASS! and it (the rectory) was bitter about all the historical homes being torn down, in the bathroom on the back of the door there is a picture of the hotel that once was and some bitter caption, like come on, piss me off with shitty service then moan about the past, how about being the best you can be as the one fucking restaurant on the island and move forward maybe. yes it’s sad when historical hotels are destroyed MAKE A BETTER SALAD! chef ramsay should visit that place.

um yeah and?

nerd paper for fil.

solar panels. how jealous am i of this house?

i need a new word for whimsical it’s played out.

this is my bench, hosers.

i bet at magic pony if someone placed that particular plank of wood it would sell for 368 dollars. is that neckface or team macho, YOU DECIDE!

masturbation picnic blanket clouds.

he was scream singing across the water where’s my acid?

boring.

go back to sleep little buddy.

cue fred penner music.

fil steals my thunder AGAIN.

+++

Ryan: i had a dream you sold me a faulty pontoon boat
and stole most of my super nintendo games

me: what else

Ryan: there was a lake a dentist office and a pharmacy
i dunno i was mad
is there such thing as super mario bros hockey

me: hmm i wish

Ryan: there was in the dreams
many versions
yoshi is the goalie

me: what else did i do

Ryan: can’t remember
to sell me the boat you were like yeah c’mon buddy buy this tooner do it
i kept winning at haggling and drove it away

me: ew i said tooner

Ryan: only a dream

fucking babies continued.

church art installation video.

we are from the annex video. laugh.

a cormorant video.

cormorant awakens video.

what a boring bird.

stay tuned for the phil’s plaques blog.

crazy art installation in this church video to come.

super hot in there.

partying with the lord.

so not forced!

breakfast sex.

those are my 300 reduced to 170 pants and that is a pomegranate vodka rockstar drink way to go making the booze ones look like the sobers ps. notice the cowboy spurs, nice.

suck it in sister.

do you want to hear a story about fil’s and i’s friday nite passionate sleepwalking lovemaking or do you want to pass? fil is concerned about it, it’s kind of hilarious i think. i’ll write about it tomorrow.

why is everyone on flickr disgusting as hell? check the comment on this picture.

in case anyone cares billable hours is on right now and we love it and i discovered it and there will be a re-run at 11 something later on every sunday. oh and samir’s short film made it into tiff, it’s called a cure for terminal loneliness. YAY!

oh and if you want to talk about the riches with me i would like that too.

loser 19 yr old list.

me: why
dont
you

merkley???: ?

me: like
me
anymore

merkley???: i
like
you
just
the
same

me: you
dont
talk
to
me
anymore

merkley???: you are
never
on
this
thing

me: do you like the band name go to bed
GO TO BED
go to bed

merkley???: its ok

me: mom sucks

merkley???: ok go to bed

me: ok go
basements rule

merkley???: the water heaters

me: uh thats good if we are going to be wearing sweaters

merkley???: or duct taped matresses

me: no

merkley???: who is in the new band?
name your band Poetry Slam!

me: ew!

merkley???: with the exclamation point

me: ew! poetry! ew!
good name
all our songs will be about beating up nerds
and one will be called sigh
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

merkley???: I WORTE A POEM!
ha ha

me: poetry makes me want to kill myself

merkley???: misspelled

me: i noticed

merkley???: you didnt say who is gonna be in the band

me: this guy was writing poetry beside me on a patio last nite by himself
me fil this girl this guy

merkley???: no friends

me: i am the singer

merkley???: really?

me: yes there was a floating arrow above his head that said NO FRIENDS
he had pretentious old man cigarettes and a dumb hat and vest on
at this dive rock bar
pffft
OH HOW INTERESTING
YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SO REAL

merkley???: did you tell him that he reminded you of someone famous?

me: I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT STUFF IN THAT WAY BEFORE I MET YOU DEACON

merkley???: FAMOUSE

me: oh i wish i did
fil texted me cos he didnt want to say it out loud like why arent you laughing at that guy

merkley???: mickey mouse was famouse

me: and i said i am totally trying to suppress it thanks
well he kind of looked like micky mouse
hahahaha

merkley???: you sure do watch a lot of sports

me: no i dont
that was the first one in awhile

merkley???: seems like you always have sports photos on your blog now
and food
and camping

me: its summer dude have a little taste of it yourself

merkley???: gross

me: ha
yeah summer makes me sick
please

merkley???: guess what i invented last night?

me: what

merkley???: hair implant tattoos
instead of ink you use hairplugs
ha ha
you could spell PUBES on your back

me: this was after how many drinks

merkley???: one billion

me: i feel fucking brain damaged right now
tequila