in the island maze with jamie.
this island cat rules.
jamie the pervert.
you can faintly see my tanline from the towel i lie on.
i had a mint julep because i saw earlier at the dakota they serve them for 7 bucks.
near the victory, everyone there is demented.
someone was having a little pj harvey party.
friday nite we made nachos with ground turkey while waiting for jamie and deb to get into town.
not into the playdoh paste, fil is.
too hungry to show the final product.
this is what an adorable trainwreck looks like.
and then there’s this classic.
updated version. all these fugly troll chicks were scowling at me the entire time, didn’t know what hit ‘em. you can hear me say oh stop frowning bitches you’re all sad. i am a nice person.
these losers thought they were american idol judges.
what the hell does 2*2*2* mean? i’m guessing something stupid, just a hunch.
this poseur over the mic says that she likes girls, interesting, for someone who claims to be a lesbian, you do an awful lot of female-hatin’ ps. if you and yer chums munch rug, singing salt n pepa’s whatta man (dancing along to it and mouthing all the words) is pretty suspect. i just deleted the video i made of it, it was such a terrible performance. when you are actually good or can entertain, then you have the right to sit and scowl.
you like girls cos you can’t get boyfriends. if you were a true-blue dyke, you would have been applauding my performances, instead, you sat there jealous and fat and lame yawn.
you’ve been RAYMI’D!
one of us was too hung to come out for a toronto walkies, so we took jamie to st. lawrence market to get jambalaya fixings then went to the island. i have decided i am never walking again, my left foot kills. we looked at the animals at the “far out farm” and when we got to the turkeys a mother joked to her daughter that that’s what they would be eating on monday, i already made the joke myself so whatever, then the girl says to her cousin how do they get the feathers off, and maybe because i had been drinking vodka pomegranate rockstar, or maybe because i am incredible, i decided to tell her how they get the feathers off:
WELL (this got her attention now she is looking up at me, mom was out of earshot anyway) FIRST THEY CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF then fil went LAUREN! in his scoldy voice so i wasn’t able to get to the then they run the bodies under scolding hot water and skin them part, whatever, she wanted to know right? if your mom is a bitch enough to make a that’s the animal we will be eating joke then what does it matter if i get graphic. this just in KIDS SUCK ANYWAY, YES YOURS TOO!
we went through the maze, it was all wet and puddly and muddy and we came out a mess and we fucked up and didn’t even go the whole way through it, we had to backtrack. fil waited on the bench by the entrance.
it smells like nice warm oniony cooking smells i like it, my hair is in pigtails but is all fuzzery from the moisture in the air, the game is on, jamie and deb will come over when they are ready.
re: foot pain i saw on fashion fanatic last nite that you can get injections in your toes and feet like what you get for your lips and forehead, it makes a padding at the tips of yer toes as cushioning so you can wear 4 inch heels, and it lasts for 9 months, $500 for each injection, dunno if that’s for each toe or each treatment. this world is bananas.
ps. fil just came over to brag about how he haggled for his meats at st. lawrence, he got the end pieces for 99 cents a kilo instead of the 2 dollar whatever price, he is turning into an old woman.
i bought that shirt in case i work at a home hardware again. it looks like i am posing but i’m not, that’s how i play the guitar because i am what rock and roll is, and you aren’t.
i am eccentric in case you forgot.
jamie blogged last nite’s events.
a kid i went to highschool with and was in some of my classes, hung himself a couple days ago, he was schizophrenic/bipolar. maybe he’s out of his misery now. sad. knew him since kindergarden, though i can’t put a face to him, i don’y have my yearbook cos i didn’t bother having my picture taken, or buying it. anyway. what do you say to something like that, oh i guess i’ll put up some pictures of my clothes now? life goes on, some of you little guys are young and depressed and lonely, talk to someone, don’t kill yourselves.
this PSA is brought to you by aunt raymi.
in other news, last nite was a gongshow.
new/vintage dress!
today’s video was for elliot brood, the song oh alberta.
wendi is in it too, she plays a forlorn divorcee barfly, that’s the drummer steve.
lookin’ tired.
porno pearls.
these are the kinds of bathroom graffiti conversations i like to see, keep it simple guys.
almost tried it on, didn’t bother once i went inside.
veggie burger art.
casper the party kid.
my glasses broke, my jewbag ones. sigh. oh well i bought a new dress, shirt and jackety shirt on lunch break. the shoot was fun and i drank beer at like noon, everybody was, it was at the dakota, my part is disenchanted barfly who gets up and leaves i think my walking was really real! all i can think about is my new dress right now sorry i have to go into the bedroom and look at it for a few minutes BRB!
i have to make more room on my laptop so i’m putting videos up on my youtube if you are a bored loser with lots of spare time go watch some.
for example, here is a video of me performing a skill i learned from cheerleading, a drill, and this is a sampling of the mental what was last nite at CiRCA.
guess who is wearing the succees dress AGAIN! for today’s shoot i have to dress 1920s so there. i am wearing pearls and a light pink fuzzy librarian sweater and my bangs are swept up, i am supposed to be a barfly, what a stretch. there was talk that me and fil were going to play mounties, can you imagine. i’d leave in costume and then go out drinking as a mounty all nite long then go have pancakes and fight crime. jamie and deb will be here at 8, can you guys email me if you want to meet them and hang and make me look like i have friends, do you want to do karaoke tonite or tomorrow?
cid spilled my melted ice water all over my cellphone in the nite, we switched his food to tuna and figure the more salt makes him thirsty so he licks the outside of the glass condensation haha you bought that it was melted ice water, try melted ice water WHISKEY!
circa “vip” nite thank you for reminding me why i don’t go to clubs, not the club specifically itself, that was fine, but the people and the noise and the uh i am a grandmother now i guess. why do i have the feeling that it was the old sega playdium?
my thoughts on circa are, it was hell, but if you’re into clubs, it is the one for you. you aren’t allowed to leave for a butt and on yer way out if there was a fire you would be trampled and die, maybe they’ll iron out the kinks soon.
yawn.
there’s a lot going on, three floors, didn’t see it all, close though, just too many try-hards in your face and the higher you climb the hotter it gets. i was a dance machine for a little while there, as much as clubs blow i make the best of it i remember saying ok i never come to these things i am not having a good time i am fucking dancing, NOW.
look it’s that hissy fit whoever the fuck it is queen.
this “chick” demanded her foto taken then asked if we wanted her name uh sure yeah i said well do you have a card, no? ok well i don’t have a pen, google circa. DON’T DEMAND A FOTO THEN YOUR NAME AND NOT HAVE A CARD I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE.
there’s more i’ll put up later if you care.
pre-drinks.
liam’s crepe.
dinner.
fil had a falafel but…
i turn my head for two seconds and he eats all my rice.
