um i guess there are a lot of vending machines in japan?
Japanese Anti Rape/Mugging Dress Transforms Into Vending Machine Disguise
me: OMG im going to link that
peepee: its so ridiculuous its not practical so this guy is near you or on top, and somehow u put this on and he doesn’t notice? and all your stuff gets run over in your manhole purse
me: i think if you get a rape premonition you just go onto a sidewalk and turn into a vending machine
peepee: haha
me: which i think would entice someone to come toward you why are japanese people so worried about rape
peepee: while i was hiking today, getting dark, thinking about rapists, i thought this would be funny in the forest
me: did you see that japanese rape youtube video? peepee: what no
me: the girls do jumping jacks and go TAKE ANYFING YOO WAHNT
peepee: i don’t want to see it
me: over and over ungh i have to find it its in my buzznet you DO
you can see the little doggy feetprints in the memory foam.
home now, we went for a drivies to guelph and had a pint and nachos at the albion hotel then visitted my dad and i went through some of my junk and found a journal i wrote when i was in the psyche ward CRINGE PARTY! i can’t wait to transcribe it and exploit myself some more, can’t as in CAN wait. here is an email i received why don’t you guys answer it for me in the comments and i will email the post back to the guy i’m kind of sick of talking about these things every four seconds. everyone is allowed to answer these EXCEPT FOR MY MOM. fil told me to just ignore it, pfft, like i can ignore things.
hello, i’ve periodically checked your blog for entertainment and i’ve got a couple of questions i don’t think i’ve seen answered on your page. you said you have some issues with depression, are you on any medications right now? do you think you will ever seek a permanent solution to your mental problems? i’ve tried myself but have sworn off any treatment until i know the severities of my symptoms after being off medications for awhile. how often do you go drinking? it seems like every other day there is new stories about getting wasted aimlessly. do you find you really need to live the lifestyle i interpret you as living? and finally do you have a job? do you update from work or something? why don’t you mention it if you have one? thanks for reading and i hope you get back to me
for the record, depression, is NOT a mental problem. it is emotional. when i say boy, do i ever have mental problems, it is a joke that i have extrapolated from an old friend in a hilarious situation involving the police and my ex bf in a hotel room at 6 in the morning and they asked her if she had mental problems and she said “a few” to get out of trouble. STOP TAKING MY BLOG SO FUCKING LITERALLY.
and YES i have a JOB – reading your email and putting it on my blog IS my J-O-B i make money off of this yes it is possible, hard to believe? i do not care, believe it and now, fuck off.
we are in the ‘burbs we slept over last nite to babysit the doggies and we hung at the local pub and on the way back i was bragging about being a big fish in a small pond just because some dudes smiled at me, fil was trashed, wasn’t listening, and all i wanted to talk about was my outfit. typical nite. we found out some girl our friend lost his virginity to is a full-fledged porn star now, we went downstairs (in the pub, the secret area) to look at her website, she’s on facebook too. another guy we know she used to be his gf. she has like quadruple D fake tits. married, and her husband is the producer and she’s a big deal in the canadian porn industry, in a certain niche like bdsm… yawn? yawn. maybe i’ll link to her, we’ll see.
fil’s mom’s bed is one of those sink-into memory foam type deals so if your arm is raised over your head it is the only thing not planted in the bed and you lose all feeling in it and turning over is a big ordeal on top of that three teeny dogs are spooning your head body and legs. kind of comical.
mmm fil just made bacon now he is making eggs. he’s been up since seven when he watered the dogs then he went out to capture the sunrise, he missed it but got the aftermath. must’ve been drunk still. now he feels like hell. it is soooo gorgeous out.
when kids made fun of my big nose in grade school in my head this is what i thought i looked like. i can’t breathe i am laughing so hard right now, i’m choke-laughing and hee-hawing.
i have been listening to the new radiohead album like 3 times in a row now and the first song has kids screaming yay! in it and i just realised it was the song and not kids in the park i kept getting up and angrily glaring out the windows searching with my eyes squinted for where these little kids were, and fil is like i don’t hear ANYTHING. i thought it was a shitty day camp or something maybe an invisible one or ghost children.
fil made us dinner last nite and inhaled most of the skin before i could take a picture.
which for me literally consisted of a few handfuls of this guy leave me alone i am disgusted with myself enough as it is. the counter is dirty from whatever the fuck it was we ate the nite before and guess who is the kitchen fairy, and who isn’t. fil is deathly allergic to wiping things, cleaning up after himself, and putting things back in the fridge.
excuse me i am trapped in an art right now.
this guy’s jumping the gun and saying he’s having an art show yep for real this time.
supplies.
looks so archaic.
i think i am coming to understand the hold jagermeister has over people, i was kind of wickedly bored/bad mood/apathetic until i did a free shot and got a crappy temp. tat and bingo, party town.
they are called snowblower with umlaut over the o’s they were pretty fun to watch and the cougar groupies were totally rocking out.
it’s funny when you wear pearls and talk like a valley girl at a place like the bovine people think you are stupid and beneath their “scene” like you are visitting from a far away planet sothey take pity on you and are like oh alright you can take my picture to show all of your preppy square friends back east, this just in: LAST LAUGH!
we saw highwaisteds last nite at the white orchid on our way back from bovine (fil’s friend from when he was 2! found him on facebook or fil found him and now they are friends again, anyway, had a show at bovine more on that later). it was our first time at white orchid and no offense (FULL OFFENSE!) to toronto hip kids, it felt like daycare, meadowvale friday nite dance party. we didn’t pay cos of our stamps from the bovine (burn). anyway i like highwaisted and her bf so they are allowed to party there because they are identical. the way high and i met is pretty funny maybe one day when my hangover goes away i will write about it, maybe it isn’t that interesting.
oh one guy had a calculator for a necklace he is my favourite take that flav!
this is the reception we crashed on our campus (st. edward’s in summertown, oxford), a teacher was married to the best friend of george harrison’s son (who was in the wedding party), and george was there, i saw his mclaren F1, i did not see george. that kilt wasn’t mine. my hair is retarded. ungh remember those futuristic backbacks everyone wore? hi me and my homework ARE FROM THE FUTURE! apparently you need a permit from the queen to drive a mclaren f1 in england. do you have a boner cos i know what that car is? oh and james jagger went to that school and i stole his school work off the wall, it was a german/french assignment and his name is on it.
see those postcards.
this is knightsbridge, london, montpelier street, where my dorm was, right around the corner from harrod’s. the first half of the program was in london.
i think i am 3.5 here.
here i am cultivating the fine art of ignoring family. check out my brother’s hair. that’s my grandpa behind me, he was in intelligence in WWII.
i was really moody on that family trip because i missed my boyfriend and my brother was a complete dick. that’s a tye-dye shirt. see how i have always had bangs.
portobello road.
prom nite dyke hair style. i left those shoes behind in brooklyn, moron. the dress too.
i think part of the reason why i cut off all my beautiful hair was because the older guy i was dating broke up with me and i was desperate to invent a new identity. i caption this photo PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME. that’s in stratford-upon-avon, in shakespeare’s garden in the courtyard of the house he grew up in. aw i just sent this picture and caption to fil and he had to walk across the room to laugh at me because i am one million % pathetic.
i’ve posted this before but just noticed my pinky. i am wasted in this picture.
somewhere in manhattan the first time i went to suss out new york in order to solidify moving there in the summer.
my great grandmother giving me a dog treat or something. how refreshing were the days when i didn’t give a shit about being photographed?
v. grainy, me in an urban outfitters, they weren’t in canada yet. look at the felt clogs i bought, crocs before crocs were crocs. my mom wore them to take out the garbage haha.
guess which ones are jewish. the one in the glasses was hanging out in the foyer of our dorm when i brought in my “cousin” and blabbed it to everyone. the one on the right beside me with short dark hair has massive tits, insane body, and is wearing my pants. she banged this totally ugly guy in one of the programs. i was kinda bummed they wanted to do a sit down pose my outfit was pretty awesome.
what a heffer, before i knew anything about posing.
my brother on his prom nite.
trying to be beatniky, poseurs.
warwick castle.
+++
so clever blah blah AA is overdone whatever i want the marilyn dress, w/ or w/o wine stains i do not care.
