i am inventing martinis tonite with mandarin absolut

one will be with gingerale

and one with red tangerine fanta

and then orange gatorade

and then i will be walking through the park without pants, see you at 11.

wait for it

champions of nothing raymi makeup time video.

i’ll share my shitty pub story later, basically i can’t do math and all pub waitresses are gossipy hags, especially the 20-something ones. enjoy my premenstrual breasts.

kinda sorta fixed it i hope you like garbage art.

GUESS WHAT JOURNAL TIME!

this is my walking journal from england. it’s pretty uh, over the top, you’ll see who am i a fucking poet where are my cigars, where’s my tweed coat with the leather patches!?

this is the other side.

some of it was written before i left for england, there are loads of quote rip-offs, plenty of my own geniosity too it’s hard to determine what is what, that deleriously happy line is from meet joe black, haha. that flower used to be purple.

well at least i am prepared for the victory’s next spoken word.

in my later years in highschool during classes i was extremely anti-social, if people see you scrawling in a tiny notebook they leave you alone.

rufus wainwright sigh.

how to not get laid should be the title of my next book.

jeeeesus.

upside-down writing i meant business!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this is KILLING me!

what a poseur i couldn’t even spell merlot right.

“the loo” take notes madonna, british slang doesn’t work.

oh this is when i made the biggest fucking mistake ever!

this entire thing is filled.

canada didn’t have sugar packets like this yet.

liane is my little asian friend who was in my exchange program, from toronto. for some reason she liked me.

after the program was over i stayed an extra two weeks with friends of the family.

i guess we can file this under the losers who read my blog who doubted i ever went to oxford category.

this is you.

right as harry potter broke, didn’t happen, i think i told some people it did. sorry dudes.

my room was the party room and thus there was graffiti all over the walls and i had to scrub it off before i left, i did 1/10 of it. burn.

high on E when i wrote this haha mom/dad you thought england kept me out of trouble!

almost finished don’t worry.

here’s the main one i kept, for the writer’s craft course we had to keep journals oh SO HARD throw a challenge at me will ya. i also had to keep a scrapbook.

Tony: fils gonna be so rich when you die

me: !
why would i die first
why cant i be rich now from this shit

Tony: you might be able to
but when you die – oh man
gravy train
as 2pac

me: sigh
fucking world!

Tony: yep
you could do the excellent fake yr own death thing
which would be impossible for you though cuz youd have to be quiet for a few years

me: yeah i could blog under an alias
wouldnt the money profits go to my family tho
another reason why fil should marry me

in other news OMFG!

and how does it feel to die?

sadness shawarma

after the first bite (which is the best cos they put a huge glob of creamy sauce at the tip) my sadness flooded away, most of it. good news friends! something annoying happened at the pub we went to last nite to watch the game, now i have something to blog about. brb!

haha it seems my sadness has infected the internet everyone is fucked right now, and, i think i’m pulling out of it too. sorry.

can people planning to join in on team blogslayer for oct. 26 and oct. 27 please leave comments or start talking to each other about it, leave suggestions, i propose for BEFORE matt’s massey hall gig oct. 26 we meet at mr. green jeans because it is a lame enough spot that it won’t be too slammed on a friday nite, it is v. close to massey hall as well. even if you aren’t going to the show you can still come and get my autograph, no hiding in the corner and staring at me like last year please. for the saturday, tony wants to hit the fox n fiddle for karaoke, i suggest maybe getting a private room (elsewhere) instead just to increase the mental retardation a tad, but i need to know how many people plan to come out that nite oct. 27 and if it is worthy of being stuck in a room with all of you, bonus side is you can be a mic hog and there are black lights and you can sneak in booze and they don’t care if you smoke so, everyone would have to pony up some dough for the room though, how responsible are you guys? …. i am officially stressed out about this, not as much as last year though, cos i was fatter. everyone vote, do you want lame free karaoke or cool $ karaoke?

inspired by depression outfit

not my turn to clean the bathroom.

false pockets, drive you mental when you get trapped in an OCD spiral you keep trying to tuck the loose inside white part in but there’s nowhere to tuck, why god WHY?

as threatened, i cut the shorts shorter so in the ass it looks a little um, interpretive? that’s if you interpret dumping in my pants!

+++

i am totally fucking emo thank you premenstrual/being sick/autumn/wet hair/zit/bad breath/retarded distended starvation belly/ingrown hair in my pubic region i keep inflaming that won’t go away/short fingernails/nothing fits right/finished reading my two books/sore throat etc.

cid just meowed and it made me more sad. kidding, he’s been ignoring me all day except for when i shared some prosciutto with him. i am at the last remnants of my makeup jar that makes me sad too and i was near the end of my conditioner, yep, sad again! i am too sad to go see the darjeeling movie and i am too sad to buy a curling iron something i have been planning to do for months. i am wearing black tights and red mary janes and my new dress but i am going to put on some other retarded outfit instead because i am letting sadness make all my decisions for me today ahha my postsecret post making fun of self-loathing, i’m going to take this blog back to 2003 pre-nervous breakdown, all emo, get ready.

ok i know you are tired of seeing the success dress, just let me show you pictures of when i first discovered it fit again, and don’t worry i can’t wear it again until i have it dry cleaned, there are uh sweat/deodorant stains around the armpit parts, i have NO IDEA who put them there!

remember i tried on that dress at h&m and said it was too small crushed my tits and you guys’s were all NO go get it, what a coincidence this is pretty much like it except better. and it is NOT orange, it is light red/pink.

here is a video of the amazing sunset we met driving back from the catskills, oh and there’s a raymi money shot where i wink at you and here are more pictures of it i am an old lady now because i care about the sky.

insert gay heaven remark anytime now.

LOOK! sashimi for the millionth fucking time!

these are the guys i brought home to fil, not into eating fish anywhere close to cooked when i order sashimi wtf. maybe it’s the pepper?

way to go retard.

duty free <3

sick and sad.

this time used cheddar in place of parmesan you care.

he sleeps like this.