i’m kind of really into this retarded porn depiction of women that dude’s conjure up hi single forever step into reality sometime before you are fat bald and 50? i’m allowed to say this because i look like that hahaha.
i LOVE NBXMAS more than you do i don’t want to hear your stories.
oh no? oh YES! november 2006 archives time baby!
the moral of the story is there is more to life than being wasted all the time and it is SHOPPING!
speckle is one of my favourite words.
kenneth cowan as party boy for halloween.
i has a question. man only a year ago NO ONE was doing lolzcats speak, fucked right!
what a waste of paint the second one was.
you can’t vote anymore but you can still enjoy me fat dancing.
britney, the question mark comes at the end of the sentence you are not a world famous blogger like me, you can’t just make up your own damn language.
YES AND YOU MADE SCIENCE HAPPEN
wendy bought my shoes.
me: omg oct archy puter way slowmive is making
last nite was awesome me and sarah danced and danced with old guys in leather jackets in a tiny ethiopian restaurant while noel and fil chatted and fil accused this woman of stealing his wallet but she didn’t hear him and he looked down and realised that his wallet was actually in his right hand so she goes what? and he says uh hi my name is fil i just wanted to introduce myself. **what i didn’t mention is that fil and i were also on MUSHROOMS hahahahahaHA!
anyway i think beirut is music to run in slow-motion through falling autumn leaves by
two years ago today
who drinks yogurt?
i don’t want to hear about some dingaling
so when i finished up i ran past him and up the stairs but as i passed he clicked his fone shut and said BYE HUN and i half turned to acknowledge him and cos i was runwalking i almost ran into a fucking wall AWESOME.
man i am hilarious. in my flickr someone thought that drawing was real and said sorry about my parents divorcing haha.
sigh nicole. i painted it in and it is still hanging on the wall not turned into 200 dollars yet.
did i tell you guys that i barely smoke now?
notice how i noticed that?
me: IT WAS HER FAULT SHE WAS A TEASE SHE TURNED ME ON I COULDNT HELP BUT RAPE HER
more tv i watch updates later.
thanks dad
At the top. I don’t care how arrogant that sounds, it’s the truth. Would you agree?
sorry Inti Raymi
maybe i will repost this poll question again. haha look at that loser dirk’s quote.
in-flight safety at the drake pictures.
yours truly, nancy reagan
buy it! angelina.
or,a slut daughter.
cid on cuteoverload
(_)=======D Simran
i am even dissapointed in my fantasies.
it’s funny how guys act all dumb or claim to be like oh she was just talking to me like i am a big retard um, newsflash, i am a chick i KNOW what flirting and desperation looks like i use to look like that, genius, nice try.
then i felt like a complete loser for feeling better than a housemom who writes fantasy stories about gay guys.
toronto mike interview.
i <3 beirut
your face is in october
here is a video of major maker doing rollercoaster, and people dancing in halloween costumes.
found this on the street, felt it a bit redundant so left it in a flowerbed outside a variety store.
gill as courtney love, brian as you can figure it out.
this has been the longest halloween of my LIFE.
liam as ron burgundy, fantastic, totally in character all nite we were pretty jealous.
some babe friend of his.
just before i realised that the blue one was melissa mclelland hahahaha.
this is the first major maker show i’ve been to, it was a lot of fun.
then the misfits showed up.
hahaha lindy wave at me! even the guy beside him is like what a loser.
look a heathers chick.
she had two other heathers with her too, perfect.
ew. hanging at the mod club is funny cos there are always ginos there waiting for you to leave or they like to soak up the weird people’s culture?
part of my costume last nite was bad breath.
alicia got up some pictures from last nite’s major maker party concert at mod club oh boy.
we tried to make an imprint of her makeup on to mine, bad idea. good thing i brought my tube of white makeup. i was supposed to be plaster of paris, no one knows what that is. i just realised i should have said ghostface. ungh.
i feel super gay and keep cringing in my head for waving at lindy while major maker was on stage and he waved back then later on i yelled at him to wave at me again so i could take a picture and he did WHAT WHO AM I i’ll put up the picture later CRINGE!
LOOK!
they didn’t have the classic wallabees in the colour i wanted or the size so i got desert treck.
on our way to queen street we saw seven little dogs partying and i asked what was going on, no one knew. more pictures of it later.
tetris. the yellow one had a pocket stereo blaring the tetris song.
christie’s friends hate me cos we tom cruised her (get it katie holmes scientology shut up) well her gentleman caller friend hates me strongly prolly cos i am more alpha male than he is.
that’s fucking stupid.
christie collects these, they were doubles so she gave them to me, way to drop ten bucks for nothing!
why is there a ghost behind her?
so i bought her a matching dress as me to make up for the smoking labbits and to make her friends likehate me more.
50% off, ten bucks each & only a teensy slice of crazy to boot!
Ryan: any more spazzing to do on yr blog or am i good
me: well you said incite and i said entice
why dont you interview me
Ryan: whoa dyslexia
ok hang on let me get my notes together.
me: ha
Ryan: Russell. It takes a sad story to write a sad song. Do you have to have a good life to have a good blog?
me: HA
im a sad guy and kind of in love with it, mostly annoyed, but now ive come to terms with it, i accept it for what it is and i don’t need medication – people are drawn to sadness, there must be an element of tragedy in order for us to care for more than 15 minutes
Ryan: By now you must feel that you’re well past the sixteenth minute with what you’ve done with your blog – what do you see in its future? Any foreseeable outcome?
(take your time, or just say next)
me: i dont feel that way at all
(sorry fonecall)
it takes ten years to be an overnite success and this is my “career” – so everyday what i do is my job right, just as everyday some banker does their job, but is that banker thinking oh my 15 minutes are almost up i better get on this before people dont care about my mutual funds anymore? i have the benefit of being a lazy man’s celebrity – they don’t want me to get too big, but some do so i don’t quite get what people are implying or trying to say to me when they say shit like that, like shut up what the hell are you trying to achieve
Ryan: I do – you raise allusion to Andy Warhol – do you feel that your expression is rooted in finding art in the mundane, that your beer can chicken is his campbell’s soup can – or are you afraid of becoming too close to or detached from your audience?
me: re-word this question so that it is actually answerable
Ryan: good call
just tryin to give talking points
Who are your primary inspirations, if any?
me: being detached or attached to an audience has nothing to do with creating art
im inspird by people i know, conversations, movies, the melancholy, books – any thing or one person that has inspired me happened years ago, now it’s simpler things that encourage me, music helps
Ryan: Great songs have been written on napkins. Do you ever get an idea for a post at common places like a restaurant?
me: all the time but you have to write those down, because you DO forget them and will, living in toronto is inspiring, living in smaller towns also is inspiring cos you are like i want to get out of this small town and be bigger than it. the “i’ll show them” factor but then some dickhead invents facebook and then all the people you never spoke to are in your inbox like what is raymi who is this raymi slghporegtqyrotyreovifdjlvnjrewoig nrogre
Ryan: Do you see yourself and your setting as interrelated, as say Hemingway in Cuba or Stephen King in Maine?
me: for now
but i’d like to be a crazy lady with long hair and wellingtons in some remote village in ireland or wherever quaint stories come from
the thing that motivates me is pictures in my head, something you see in a movie or conjure up from a book, then i go out and do it
right now it’s barfly and music
though it should be something more
Ryan: To entertain a dickhead from facebook, for our readers, who is this Raymi? Where did the inspiration for the name come, is it an exotic alterego, did you want the Pink Floyd fans to sit around wondering what it stood for?
me: i was 14, i had been hanging out with my cousin and brother, my cousin (kerouac side) was in a weird phase, where he was like, i am weird, anyway, i read some of his pen and paper ramblings, we were all very into nirvana at the time, and inspired by his dirty basement bedroom and filthy clothes i wrote a two page story beginner called the last minx, written from the perspective of a girl in an asylum
and i sat there in my suburban mississauga livingroom staring at the christmas tree, the complete opposite of what i was writing about, i was a pretty depressed kid but hid it well, anyway, the girl needed a name and my own name was not interesting enough, and raymi just came to me, from nothing, it was the perfect name then i expanded that into a longer story, i thought i would be a published author by the age of 16
arrogant little fuck
Ryan: Does it inspire you to wonder what that story could someday be worth?
me: anyway that story sucked, i have it typed out somewhere and on floppy
well it became a self-fulfilling prophecy
the crazy ward part
i wrote it before girl interrupted
and i thought i was really fucking savvy
the premise i thought was groundbreaking
anyway, asylums are not glamorous at all, there’s no fucking ballet lessons with angelina hipster jolie
Ryan: And she doesn’t get topless either? There still is a certain mystique and bullshit glamour about the crazy artist
me: oh there always will be
Ryan: Do you need to be crazy to have a crazy blog?
me: the candle burns brightest before it flickers out right
when you’re mad you are at your skinniest and you become looks-obsessed
so there are crazy outfits and hairstyles
in that respect it can be quite hollywood
re: crazy blog, uh, what do you think
Ryan: off the record yeah or maybe just bored or happy
me: off the record?
Ryan: tryin to be pro and have a continuity to the interview
minimal editing, larry king said it’s not suppose to be about the interviewer
me: im looking at papers i wrote when i was in the psyche ward
im adding them to my book
also a journal i kept
and things i wrote and havent read since highschool
i was a little more eloquent back then
Ryan: simpson gene i have it too, you get dumber when you get older
me: you drink more
Ryan: maybe you just attempt and attain less
yeah that too
let’s end this interview:
me: well you afford yourself the luxury of lazy by working harder in the beginning, building the “fanbase”
Ryan: well sometimes anything anyone touches becomes gold too,artists like picasso could make it look cool irrespective of the perceived worth of what it was he was looking at
me: what is the question
Ryan: so you with your writing voice sharpened and always-on could look at a beer can in a chicken’s ass is that fair to say?
nm that a wrapup question
me: i suppose, i notice things in the real world and it’s obvs that people on the internet should share in it, blogging is storytelling and some people like picture books
Ryan: Yours seems to be a success story; shows people what’s possible – are you inspired by the amount of blogs that, via sidebar or otherwise, you’re a precursor to? Do you even have time to read them all?
me: i read blogs sure, theyre all good, save for the crazy ones, cos after awhile even your fans turn on you and forget that you inspired them
whatever
i just keep on doing what i do
i just cleared every red hot chili peppers and mr. bungle song off of my itunes and it felt pretty fucking good.
fil said you aren’t allowed to see what he wrote.
awwwwww.
fil made a cute post.
i just rage cleaned the bathroom while listening to fil on the phone with apple for an hour, there are makeup sharpie stains on the bathroom counter, one of the mg passes with sharpie on it upside down on the counter with water made it stained, colour me livid. i went for a tan and bought new goggles so i can do stand-up tanning and not have to squint my eyes tightly or buy those stupid eye stickers. lots of university students use our visitor parking lot to smoke weed in or pee on the bushes or idle their cars and drink coke and captain morgans and hock loogies real loud me and fil and cid are the neighbourhood watch and stare at them menacingly in secret EXCUSE ME IT IS SOBER NITE DAY 2 DON’T MAKE ME FUCKING KILL YOU! oh wait fil just corrected me on something two posts down brb fellers.
ok i’m back.
evan almighty is the worst movie to watch when you are on a sober nite, unless of course you enjoy feeling angry like the incredible hulk, you think you are signing up for a nice jokey time, but what you are really signing up for is RAGE.
if you are going to have a sober film nite you have to watch something depressing, as we did after with a mighty heart. angelina jolie’s accent is really good and the story is chokingly painfully sad and well gosh gee sigh.
sorry dudes but this guy would be on suicide watch if something like that happened to me, no matter how awesome my hair was.
i don’t even want to talk about it anymore.
tomorrow is fil and i’s third year anniversary oh hai. we bought each other cards and pretended to not be looking at shopper’s today then had to stand in line beside each other to pay and he used my shopper’s optiumum card, after our pizza lunch date of course.
there was a crazy lady in the bank and this white banker dude came out and bellowed what’s going on i cannot hear i am on the fuh-own then he saw her with her walker and fucked up legs and felt like a shmuck, rightly so. it was good banking-timing on fil’s part. tomorrow we are going on a clarke’s date we’ll see if i cave and get him a pair too why can’t he just be normal and want a nerf football or something?
