my brother brought over a shwarma and i had a bite of it and then i went mentally insane until he would let me have another bite. there’s something in that tzatziki that turns me into the exorcist. i would eat a cactus, needles and all, if it had tzatziki on it. one time we left some tzatziki out on the table over nite and i was planning on dipping left over pita in it but fil threw out the “gone bad” tzatziki and i seriously felt like crying i was that upset over it. i was probably on my period.
just caught the tail-end of die another day and it was right at the part where he goes “looks like you will live to die another day.” and he uses his powerful ultrasonic ring that can break glass and then has a big rock climbing rope that zips him up and through the roof while he is being shot at and then he runs down the side of the dome roof to the ground and then he surfs using the door of the super duper fast car using a parachute as a guide in freezing cold iceberg water that turns into a tsunami from the laser beam from outerspace exploding everything and lands unscathed back on the frozen ice and gets into his invisible car and drives it into the ice palace.
imagine writing that and trying to get someone to buy your script and some smart ass reading it back to you with their eyebrows raised and their tone is way sarcastic.
i’d love to be the assistant of the asshole reading the script to the writer and then when the writer leaves my boss steady shit-talks the writer for twenty minutes and i am like ya uhhuhuhhuhuh like butthead.
this guy opened the door for us on our way out for a smoke and said yep yep i take tips too and i said here’s a tip, put on a coat and there was a bit of an awkward silence then he laughed a bit and so did his friend about him not wearing a coat in the arctic hell sub zero temperature weather and then i had to ask dude for a light because the ten million i usually have in my pocket were all gone.
then some retard girls were talking about tinkling in the bathroom and some meathead put his head in and went YAAAAAAAAAAH PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRTY!
there were a lot of drunken rejects there. i am bad at tuning out other people’s conversations especially when they sound like OH MY GOD NO WAY TOTALLY AND WE WERE WEARING THE SAME THING it makes me want to walk over and flick the person in the forehead.
i forgot to tell you that we got new outfits and so we are walking around going hey man look at me and my new outfit and then everyone kills themselves because they don’t have new outfits like we do and we are the only ones left on earth and so now there is no one left to show our outfits to except old people who don’t care anyway because they are wearing sweaters from 1948 and they’re like fuck you i’m eating fish and chips.
here is my rap song that is suppose to be terrible so FUCK YOU ASSHOLES and love it.
i was washing dishes and i thought to myself i could put another bowl up on that shelf
washing dishes those damn dirty bitches washing dishes dishes in the kitchen ungh!
so i’m washing china cups and i’m sloshing in the suds and i think it’s gonna be awhile before i pull the plug but hey man that’s alright ‘cos now i’m washing knives and that’s super tight in case i get in a ninja fight
washing dishes those damn dirty bitches washing dishes dishes in the kitchen ungh!
sometimes it’s such a pain when food’s stuck in the drain it makes me go insane and usually it’s pasta ‘cos i’m the parmesan pesto masta and sometimes it is rice shut up get out of my life who do you think you are macaroni? or some ravioli i say holy moly it’s chicken cacciatore
washing dishes those damn dirty bitches washing dishes dishes in the kitchen ungh!
it’s time to scour that pot careful yo the water’s hot hey man don’t forget the pan the sauce is stuck so let it soak while we chill and drink a coke
then we can tackle the crockery this ain’t no mockery i take dishes seriously and it ain’t no mystery outside it may be blistery on our way to the library to get some books on laundry this chore i don’t take to fondly
word to your moth
washing dishes those damn dirty bitches washing dishes dishes in the kitchen ungh!
i think i may have built up half baked too much. fil liked it anyhow. and he especially enjoyed the part i tried to explain to him that was the funniest, the sorry for yelling part, see? i know what’s going on.
i’ve been using the cheapest shampoo for the last week and yesterday i finally snapped and bought other cheap crap that doesn’t slip off my head and into the drain before i get a chance to lather it in. aimee came by and saw this big jug-type thing of purply bullshit and said who is cheaping out on the shampoo? busted. i said i thought i was getting a bargain and she’s like no way that’s life brand, what were you thinking?
anyway i’m using some naturals whatever now and fil asked why i chose that and i said because it’s made from koala bears, i dunno, it smells ok and they support breast cancer and it was 2.49 yo! zing.
i’m going to write a poem i think that will show ‘em because i got the style that is way longer than a mile them bitches i defile while i eat a crocodile and i’m like see you later and i eat an alligator and i’m like yo i just crush a lot i ain’t no hater i’m a porno rollerskater a mix-master debater all the egos i deflater in that golden elevator
