i missed my chance to get a free hot dog from across the street.

ps i am bored so if you are not on my msn list and also bored, add me to it already, ie rock n roll nig, deadly, paige, etc etc – parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com

banana fone

badger

went to see stars wars revenge of the MOST BORING PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE yesterday afternoon. i actually slept through more than half of it. i moved one of the arm rests and laid across two seats and passed the fuck out. the movie is total crap and what’s worse is all the hype for it. i rate it NO STARS. ya ya it is necessary to see it because there are like eight-hundred other ones and if you don’t see this one you will always wonder about it, you know what, don’t. worry. about. it.

that c3po douche bag’s voice is annoying as hell. um, since when do robot’s have faggoty british accents? also it’s fucking obvious from the beginning the chancellor is the sith lord because he talks in that sneaky evil way when he tells annabananakin to kill that dude right away i was thinking THIS GUY IS BAD NEWS THEY BETTER WATCH THEIR BACKS YO and then i was right so i stood up before falling asleep and proclaimed to everybody in the audience SEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU THAT GUY WAS EVIL.

and then there are 300 kids sitting all around you talking and eating their evil little kid popcorn and candies during all the quiet parts so you pray for the whole movie to be full of loud explosions to drown them all out. one kid near us kept picking up his drink, taking a sip, putting it back down, picking it up again, taking a sip, putting it down it’s like holy shit kid just HOLD ON TO YOUR FUCKING DRINK and you can’t even swear at these kids ‘cos their parents are there too.

we were sitting in that row by the stairs with the metal bar to rest your feet on and also protect fat retards from somehow falling out of their seats in the dark and diving down the stairs, anyway, all the ADD little boys going to the bathroom were irritating ‘cos they’d swing from the bar and it was loose and our feet were resting on it and every few minutes a new little shitkid would go to the bathroom and do it again.

i am never going to see a movie again where there is bound to be all the kids in the universe sitting beside me in the audience. except for NARNIA, that movie will fucking rule and i will sit in the very front for it with stickers on my face and if i hear one person speak i will swear at them in italian at the top of my lungs until they take me away and ban me from all movie theatres for life.

last nite i barfed and then i watched a half hour of infomercials about food and the magic bullet and then i dreamt i was hanging out with james hetfield and then these jehova witnesses kicked down the door and kicked me in the throat and threatened to kill us all and i talked in my sleep like linda blair and said A MAN BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND KICKED ME IN THE HEAD and fil rolled over and i immediately woke up and said oh i was talking in my sleep and he said yes, not happy talking though and i felt embarrassed for my culty whisper speak.

i’m giving up beer. my belly is too big. i haven’t been this gargantuan since i was 17 after england and breaking up with that older guy. don’t worry i’ll still drink wine.

late at nite when i can’t sleep and i hear cars speeding unnecessarily all loud and shit i wish for them to crash and explode so i can go out and look and then be able to go to sleep afterward.

house of the dead is only good to watch in fast forward with your eyes stapled shut and your ears blowed off. absolute shit. the whole thing essentially is an advertisement for the video game. there’s nothing to eat but beer and tomato juice. it’s hot outside. possibility of going up north again tonite, though not sure. i have to fix my bike tire, the tube or something. my dreams are fucked up. i did the dishes. maybe i’ll go for a walk. probably not. oprah better be good today.

noel is selling more stuff.

here’s a stupid story.

one time in law class, grade 11, this big ole burly maintenance guy walked past our class and i screamed out NARC as he went by (at the time there was a lot of narc-suspicion at my school and these weird maintenance dudes showed up out of nowhere doing useless jobs like dust the front sign on the lawn where all the drug dealing happens, shit like that) so anyway i scream this out because my desk was closest to the door and everyone in my class was like OH LAUREN, SNAP!!!!! and then this big scary guy comes back and walks into the room and stands right in front of my desk and by the look on my face he could tell that i said it and he looks at me and says a bunch of stuff that i forget ‘cos i was afraid of him but essentially he said I LIKE DRUGS FUCK YOU.

last nite walking back from the bar i was intentionally wearing my sweater inside out because it still smells like campfire and these three bitches were talking and they stopped when we walked by and one went HER SHIRT IS INSIDE OUT in a tone that meant SHE IS AUTISTIC and it fucking pissed me off LKIHCpoiusakje fbfk;gfp97t g489phfkjvdv ds.g poif!!!! one of the girls was fat and wearing an I’M a VIRGIN t-shirt and she spoke in one of those girly girl voices to try and distract you from knowing she is as fat as a house.

anyway i wanted to go back and be like HELL YES MY SHIRT IS INSIDE OUT but then what could have i have done after that? i’d look ten times more schizo. well i could have went DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? and then lunged quick at them and go PSYCHE!!