so i couldn’t sleep saturday nite, toss and turn still drunk type shit and this time instead of rehashing i should have stabbed her moments, i put together some material, comedy gold, if you will. i plan to do stand-up of sorts and it will SLAY.
my fist thing will be to talk about spiders and i will be like HEY SPIDERS WHAT’S THE DEEEEAL!? PS. I’M TOTALLY FUCKING AFRAID OF YOU THANKS.
see? gold!
a good three minutes will be given to the making fun of arts&crafts musicians and it will be at THE DRAKE NO LESS, career suicide? brilliant. it’d be like me being that jewish pianist guy hiding out on the german’s side of the wall, RIGHT UNDER THEIR FUCKING NOSES FULLY INTERRUPT IF YOU KNOW A BETTER ‘DIS.
it’s ok even i don’t know what i’m saying anymore.
2. THE CUP JUST STARTED AND NONE OF YER EURO TRASH TEAMS ARE ANYWHERE CLOSE TO THE FINALS SO GOING BANANAS APESHIT WITH FUCKING FLAGS STAPLED TO YOUR EARS RIGHT NOW IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND I SILENTLY LAUGH AT ALL OF YOU WHEN I SEE YOU ALL THE TIME AND I WILL NEVER STOP.
3. SOCCER = SOCCER and FOOTBALL = FOOTBALL YOU FUCKING TARD FROM OAKVILLE YOU ARE NOT COOL BECAUSE YOU REFERENCE A TERM YOU REALISE MEANS THE SAME THING AS KICKING A BALL AROUND THAT PEOPLE SAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE OCEAN I HATE YOU ^%#%^8576
4. IF YOU WANT THE HAIR OUT OF YOUR EYES WEAR A HEADBAND NOT A PENCIL FUCKING THIN BRA STRAP ELASTIC AROUND YOUR HEAD UNLESS OF COURSE YOU WERE GOING FOR THE I AM A TEENAGE GIRL LOOK THEN THAT’S FINE
5. STILL EXTREMELY BORING
6. SITTING AROUND FOR HOURS IN A CROWDED BAR TO WATCH THE TINIEST SCREEN OR MAYBE EVEN STANDING AROUND COS THERE AREN’T SEATS IS FUN!? WHAT’S THAT YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE SANITORIUM? OK.
7. WHAT ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU ARE THE HUGEST SOCCER FAN EVER FUNNY HOW THAT HAPPENS EVERY FEW YEARS THIS TIME OF YEAR I WONDER WHY THAT IS…
8. HEY AWESOME JUMP ON OUR CAR AND SHOOT FIREWORKS FROM ROMAN CANDLES IN YOUR HANDS YOU DON’T NEED FINGERS TO PLAY SOCCER KIDS WHAT THE GAME JUST STARTED AND ALREADY YOU ARE ALL KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER YOU ARE SO EXCITED ME TOO ME TOO FUN AWESOME SKGRHGFD GOUFHGFO HPHP93 2759 8435Y4398T43
9. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL JUST EXPLODE IF I DON’T GET A COMMEMORATIVE T-SHIRT THIS YEAR I NEED IT SO BAAAAADLY
the kids in the park today seem to be on ritalin, v. quiet.
anyway i would like to take a moment to s-talk the new superman movie. it appears in the previews that they are copying the original movie exactly as in totally fake slow-mo flying and floating up into the air type shit. GAY AND BORING NO THANKS.
fil i will NOT be seeing this movie with you in the theatres unless i am on mushrooms, ecstasy, acid, ketamine, or absinthe. that is all.
