i dreamt that my dad was chaperoning/hosting david bowie all around toronto and i was like cool i’ll stop by and so i’m all casual me and david bowie sharing stories of the family’s past and stuff cos david bowie and i go waaay back to when i was a baby then by the end of the dream/third day of david bowie’s visit i realised that david bowie was actually a friend of the family *mike who has rock feathered blond hair and is pretty much a fuck-up alcoholic anyway i was like whatever cos i am in an indian food fair now eating dahl who cares.

how come in dreams you are way less intelligent than in real life you’re like OK I WAS IN MY OLD HIGHSCHOOL BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, weird. ??

fuck off decoy dreams.

watch this trailer or i hate you

little children

regardless of how the movie turns out the trailer is really well done i can’t wait to see it in a theatre so i can be irritated by everyone around me.

so this dude throws himself in the back of a cab today around the corner and makes these bomb threats or whatever and all of bloor between st.george and spadina was closed off and there were infinity cops and swat dudes and negotiators etc etc i took a bunch of pictures cos i’m a sensationalist like that. i show up and there are a bunch of people standing around who’ve clearly been there for awhile and i just happened to overhear an old lady complaining about a cab driver and how he should just blow himself up so i walk over and a person asks me what’s going on like i am information at the mall so i tell him and then it just fucking SPREADS like wildfire all around me and i can hear people fucking up certain facts and i’m like PEOPLE it’s a cab right over THERE and a guy is in it and he says he has a bomb THE END.

like fuck off YOU are the one who has been standing here for an hour and you don’t even know what the fuck you are standing around for?

anyway it’s all over, no bomb, no explosion.

i told samir that phil’s special present was in his pants

now i am boyfriendless

can cats see thru bathwater?

ok nevermind i guess they can.

vocoder

this is how i do my grocery shopping also

look what jared made me. custom too. ask him to do one for you, say i sent you and don’t be a cheapskate either. it’s also his birthday tomorrow.