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Author Archives: raymi
last nite part 2
fil says that i only see the worst in people and that’s why i have nothing but negative observations i said that’s because everyone is bad the parts of them i see i dunno i guess he is right but talking shit is way more interesting than bigging up some fluffhead.
so over fil’s shoulder (this was before i bit it on the stairs, after that happened i stopped with the negative observations) i see this fluffy blond hair chick her hair is trying to be straight but cos of the weather i guess it was getting wavy which made me feel superior obviously. she was bragging about being spoiled in fact she said I AM SO SPOILED ahaahahaah IT’S SO RIDICULOUS. then she went on about how she will drive to her parents house to food shop she said I GET A BAG AND I GET CHEESE BREAD MEAT FRUIT VEGETABLES… then she giggles and chuckles and says I’M GOING TO BE THE WORST WIFE YOU KNOW USELESS THE TYPE THAT DOES NOTHING AT ALL.
she’s sitting with these three dudes and they’re all laughing at everything she is saying, humor-laughing cos they all want to fuck her which was super gay cos there was another girl in their party that was totally ignored cos her table was slightly separated, one of these douches should/coulda joined her but no they were way too interested in useless fluffhead, cock-blocking the fuck out of each other.
she kind of looked like the rich blond snot from facts of life top right. KILLKILLKILL.
she was drinking ice water too, like, FOREVER. that really annoyed me. i dunno why, just did. and she’s sitting with her legs slightly parted, wearing jeans and totally ugly out of style shoes, she’s sitting in this desperately slutty way LIKE HOW I SIT but when i do it it looks natural, the way she was doing it was like she was controlling the whole table. and then she flirts with this dude who has a girlfriend but still is in his face touching his arm in shit while the girlfriend is in the bathroom and even when she comes back and he pulls her in but fluffhead is still touching him trying to get all his face-time and she didn’t even watch the hockey game.
i will offer up more observations as i remember them.
oh yeah so fluffhead leaves and no dudes leave with her cos they all blew it for each other and so they are forced to join the ignored girl and her dumpy friend who showed up and then i watched the one guy wearing his hat backwards talking while subtletly picking his nose and eating it. it was awesome.
i wasn’t even drunk and i fell down some stairs last nite during the hockey game out at a bar in front of thirty people who all laughed at me and no one asked if i was ok. the heels of my boots got hooked on the top stair of three steps and i like slow-motion hit the floor onto both knees all of my weight. i was also wearing that retardo leafs hat at the time so it was 110% embarrassing. the section it happened in consisted of jocky college dyke-types you know super girly women haters cos deep down they want to have scary rape sex with them anyway yeah, it sucked. i’ve been taking fotos of my knees i can’t tell if they are bruised or if they just always looked that fuc’ugly (v). fil didn’t see it happen either and i had to wait at the bar for our server to look at a wine price list with all the jock girls behind me snickering and describing what just happened to party members who missed it.
IF YOU WERE AT GABBY’S LAST NITE AND SAW THIS INCIDENT YOU ARE AN UGLY TWAT WITH PENIS-ENVY YOU ARE SUPER DUPER DUPER UGLY AND MANLY AND YOU HAVE ADAM’S APPLES.
really it was funny but not enough people i know were there to witness it thus making it humiliating. oh it was also extremely loud and while i was on the floor everyone went OOOOOOOOoooooooooooh like when you see someone wipe out on their bike or skateboard YES THAT BAD.
a poem by raymi
I CAN’T SLEEP
I’M WAITING FOR MY EYES TO WEEP
BECAUSE I CAN’T SLEEP
IT’S FIVE AM
I CAN’T SLOW-THINK
I WANT TO SLEEP
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP
WHERE ARE THE SHEEP TO COUNT
INTO MY BRAIN WON’T SEEP
DEAR SLEEP LETS MEET
I’LL BRING THE PILLOWS YOU BRING THE Zs
these are my friends
OMG. this chick has a myspace AND she added ME out of nowhere and it’s funny cos i couldn’t possibly hate her more. remember the one who was spat on her face by the blond bitch on flavour of love the flava flav show? yeah her. AHAHAHAHahahaAHAha oh internet i love you.
raymi: 03/01/2006 8:22 AM
that black chick sucks
here’s an interview i did that will be appearing in a geurilla art magazine at some point in the future:
1. Lets have some background for those who have never heard of you ( admittedly not many folks )
star sign, favourite movie, favourite poem, favourite food, favourite song -
aries/march 31, 1983, the professional, something by pablo neruda, fil’s jambalaya(fil says u have to link him here philogynist.blogspot.com, la vie en rose by lucille star
2. About your Blog ? Would you agree that you blaze a trail at the forefront of the genre?
i guess initially i did but now i’ve been doing it awhile i’ve uh laid the foundation for others to rip me off so now i’m like britney spears and there’s all these lindsay lohans out there no wait i guess i would be like chloe sevigny? anyway luckily i’m not a carbon-copy of myself so’s i can still come up with original shit and not just be all caps-lock yelling about cats and drinking. i believe i’m the biggest blogger in toronto and the most part all of canada but yet i don’t have a babillion hits daily, a steady flow but not as much as the celeb/tabloid blogs. anyway yeah i’m a big deal but there are people who are even bigger deals than i am, they just don’t blog and that i am envious of. it would be nice to be big sans a blog but due to deep-rooted laziness and insecurity this is my thing for now. anyway quote this i’m claiming to be the biggest blogger in canada cos no one fucking else has but that in and of itself is v. canadian.
Where do you see blogging at as a social phenomenon ?
socially it isn’t. bloggers are social cowards. the only phenomenon about it is when bloggers have blog parties and those happen seldomly so it’s like wow they are gathering at a bar and there won’t be internet or laptops. if someone showed up to my party with a laptop i’d like to think i would tell them to fuck off but i know i would just ask to use it to moderate my comments.
Can you explain the art of blogging or the difference between a good blogger and a bad blogger?
no. at this point i want to be smarmy and keep my “secrets” but even claiming them to be secrets seems trite. it’s not rocket science what i’m doing here and this is assuming that you even find me to be “good” – if you want to have a good blog you basically only have to be interesting and/or hold people’s attention. if you can’t figure that out then i dunno, give up.
3. Describe your character in 5 words
sarcastic, endearing, abrasive, funny, genuine
4. Who or what makes you cry ?
seeing animals hurt, sad movies, oprah, any man crying, that intervention show on a&e
5. If you could travel to any time past or future where would you go ?
to when the beatles hit it big oh and i’m one of them.
6. If the war between the sexes is over who won?
men because they started it and made us bitches waste all this time having to prove ourselves as equal. men can be huge fucking assholes.
7. Can art imitate life anymore when life has started to imitate art ?
art can imitate anything always, no matter what and when life imitates art that’s fine too. this question is way open-ended and i have deleted my response three times already so i’ll have to approach it some other day. basically who wouldn’t like to have a friend who inhabits a world where nothing is really real?
8. Name 3 things a visitor to Canada needs to survive ?
lose the american arrogance if american, that’s about it.
9. Would you rather be pretentious and famous or serious and unknown ?
famous duh but am i allowed to be aware of my pretentiousness and go about it in a mocking sort of way?
10. Binge drinking – harmless or hopeless ?
depends on the genes and willpower but yeah not good for the liver
