i’m pretty sad about my grandma’s house selling so quick. my dad plans to be out of there by month’s end. he’s temporarily moving in with my brother at our home in the other less fancy suburbs which should be fun for all of them. i’m going to help move some shit today and go through boxes of stuff to pitch, donate, give away – i’m assuming me, brother and dad will be crammed in my brother’s truck which seats 2.5 people. i want to get in as much grandma’s house time as possible but it’s also pretty weepy feeling to be there. there’s a ton of books up for grabs. i’ll let you guys know.
lise and i watched hard candy last nite and holy shit wow intense i am not saying anything cos fil is going to watch it tonite but wow, i am never meeting anyone off the internet ever again especially teenaged short hair girls.
fil came home WASTED from the leafs game last nite and accused me of having leftover sashimi hidden somewhere from my dinner with lise i was like dude why would i have leftover fish i completely ate the shit out of dinner there was NOTHING left over GO TO SLEEP!
i bought hoodia last nite from a health store! i am going to be a skeleton! just! you wait! and see!
i already tried a pill and i feel barfy which is good which means i don’t want to eat which means appetite suppressed ZING. though i don’t ever eat breakfast anyway so feh. i also bought those alternative clove cigarettes that look marketed for kids who like lucky charms and they are nicotine free. yay smoking is fun! lets go on a treasure hunt in the forest and find mother goose you guys! that’s what i think of when i see the box. also i can get a free zippo if i send in 35 seals from the package.
thinking about that bill reminded me of kindergarden when we drew in our journals. it was such an arduous task for the teacher to monitor that we only did it once a week. these helper girls made the books for us out of construction paper and huge drawing paper stapled between to form this huge ledger type book. (by the way in kindergarden we thought the helper girls were super cool but by the time i got to grade 7 i realise they were choosing to spend their recess hanging out with kindergardners cos they are nerd losers and i know this cos i did it too but only during winter to avoid having to stand out in the cold for an hour also you get to drink tang and eat cheez whiz and celery but once spring hit i was like PEACE peepee pants kids who can’t tie laces haha).
ok the reason the bill reminded me of these journals is cos you draw a bunch of crap with crayons like total bullshit art, squiggles and crooked lines and fucked up face people with no bodies and birds whatever so when you are finished drawing you tell the teacher or the helper girl what your drawing is of and they write the caption for you and my drawings always at least went along with the caption but these other kids would have a huge red circle and a bunch of dots and a yellow pile of shit and the caption would be this is me and my dad in the park and we are eating ice cream and that is my brother feeding the ducks in the pond and my mom is wearing a long beautiful dress more or less.
i remember asking my friend johnathan about his picture which was of some orange gate and a red blob and a black fence and he is like oh this is me at the baseball game with my brother i’m like um THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU DRAW YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AT THE BASEBALL GAME HOLY SHIT!!?
this is about the time i realised that i was smarter than the majority of the population of the planet. i took one of those tests that parents make their kids take to see if their kid is a retard or a genius and i had to draw myself and i made it very detailed complete with eyelashes and fingernails and a necklace. my mom was talking to her hairdresser about this and she said that her son drew a triangle. HAHAHA.
the moral of the story is kids are fucking retarded and should be eaten.
here is something funny i forgot to mention that happened at the ethopian place friday nite — me and sarah are dancing with all these chief playas and are the only white people in the whole place including noel and fil anyway i’m all dancing like no tomorrow and this baller type guy comes up to me and is like are you here with your boyfriend? and i said yeah and he goes where is he? and i point at fil and say HE’S THE GUY OVER THERE IN THE SWEATER.
ahahha.
that place is so tiny and all my key dance moves involve raising my arms and punching them in the air and everytime i did it i would punch the ceiling or a beam. when we left our waitress was like you better come back and i said fucking right i will. she loved us cos we ordered four rounds of black russians and they didn’t have any milk so it was just the vodka and the kahlua except noel had them with bailey’s for the milk so like a three booze drink with no mix the funny thing is the waitress was very apologetic for not having milk so she is like but i have bailey’s. nice.
but after awhile it got a little creepy and out of hand, i went down to the bathroom and this guy followed me and pretended to be on the fone in the hallway so when i finished up i ran past him and up the stairs but as i passed he clicked his fone shut and said BYE HUN and i half turned to acknowledge him and cos i was runwalking i almost ran into a fucking wall AWESOME. ps dude who goes down the stairs to the basement to talk on a cellfone better reception down there buddy? must be. pfft.
ok fil just informed me that black russians don’t have milk so the waitress was wrong in offering milk anyway whatever when the bill came it was written in all these squiggles and letters that don’t even exist i was like ok i know i’m wasted but i can at least read but this is fucked what are these words beside these prices? i wish i took a picture of the bill.
