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Author Archives: raymi
then i played a flute
no i cannot play the flute i can make flute sounds with my mouth and blow them into a flute, however. i can play the clarinet i chose it in grade 7 and 8 cos it was the cheapest mouthpiece. i was ok at it. i use to play it into the kitchen fone when my brother was downstairs in the basement talking on the basement fone forever to his girlfriend the best is when the reed isn’t wet enough and it makes that high-pitched squeak sound.
yay my cheney shirt arrived.
i hate guinness if i wanted something that tasted like shitty coffee i would drink coffee swill from 7-11. all you guinness drinking micks are fucking liars for saying you love the stuff. LIARS.
hahahaha nsfw. scroll down for my link/picture. nice. thanks guys.
oh i forgot a nice thing i said last nite, this dude comes up to us who is all shaky and maybe retarded not sure and he asks if there is a game on and pitt and fil pretend they are mute and i say oh yeah there’s a game on we are losing and he shakily ambles over to the stool beside fil and sits there and fil is forced to make small-talk with him, a little while later pitt looks over his shoulder at the guy then at me and i say hmm maybe he has parkinson’s? more like PARTYson’s! is that mean or generous, cos like dude went out in the snowy nite to a pub alone to hang AND he has something like parkinson’s whatever fuck you all anyway.
irish you a happy st. patrick’s day
last nite dad came into town to watch the leafs lose. i wore my new birthday jersey they’s all got me (mrs. pitt, pitt, fil, chad) it says RAYMI on the back and 83 (birth year). so now i am a full-blown hockey nerd. i didn’t wash my hair yesterday either so i had some wicked greasy hockey hair and i am able to finally tuck my bangs behind my ears for the full mullet effect. i also wore my dad winter boots.
so we went to the pourhouse and went to the back to watch the game on the shitty screen we find a modest table with two seats around it and ask this couple who are old and making out if we can use one of their chairs and they purposely ignore me for ten seconds so i am standing there making the WHAT THE FUCK face at them and fil says excuse me are all these chairs being used and the fucking woman in her horny cougar bitch dreamy daze just slowly WHIMSICALLY even nods her head yes as in yes they are being used no apologies whatsoever and her nod was so subtle i asked her again SO ARE THEY ALL BEING USED? and she gives that phony bitch nod again and the guy she is with total prisoner of her cuntness asks meekly oh we can give them one right? and by now it is like a competition she has realised she is a cunt and does not need three extra chairs but still says they are being used so as i turn around to sit i exclaim WOW WHAT A BITCH to fil. big mistake lady our table is right beside yours and you’re in the drunk section.
after about ten minutes of trying to make her as uncomfortable as possible we moved to the front of the pub to watch the game on a better tv. fil forgot to go back to their table when we left to see if all the chairs were being used. before we left someone else came up to them and started dragging a chair away and me fil pitt eyed that bitch like hawks and she pretentiously waved her arm at the dude saying that chair is hers.
fuck i LIVE for those moments.
-george costanza
merkley???: i just had a lovely tuna salad
me: lovely
merkley???: tunafish – diced dill pickle — mustard — squeeze of lemon — and lots
of pepper
simple and refreshing
merkley???: and pretty to look at with the yellow of the mustard, pink of the tuna and translucent green of the pickle
me: oh man open the window and let some of the fag out please
merkley???: jealous
me: not really i do not have an appetite right now
plus i rocked an awesome sandwich yesterday
and then more delicious food later on
merkley???: looks kinda dry
me: no it was fresh
prosciutto pesto provolone
salty as hell
mmmm
merkley???: oil and vinegar too?
me: well in the pesto sauce
merkley???: true
me: there is oil
merkley???: got this email from a 16 year old today
u r such a mother fucker!!!!!!!!! how could u hate horses u r a cheap ass hoe who does not know his ass from his head you probably dont even have a brain you cheap ass mother fucker fuck you up ur fucking ass you ass whole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: AHAHHAHAHAHHA
dude i am being “ripped” in these comments
merkley???: on your blog?
link please
me: hang
here is the post
from a bunch of mongoloids
there are so many mean things i could say
but im not
here is the comment stream
merkley???: i commented
me: nice
dude that comment does NOT help me
merkley???: ha ha
me: whatever
merkley???: people still buy that stupid horse hater shit
so weird
i make like 12 dollars a month
me: ha
whats the url so i can link it in our convo
i like how people are all YOU ARE SELF CENTRED like it is a dis
merkley???: ha ha
me: um of course i am i have every right to be and you dont you fugpole
merkley???: horsehater
me: check this genius comment i just received, from some dykebreath in bangor maine, probably your mom
Raymi – first you really do suck. I don’t care who agrees with me. Second “your” just some whore who spreads her leg and flops a tit out for a photo or a stuffed sex doll and then says “hey I am popular and you all are fucking losers” Third that does not make you popular, it makes you Jerry fucking springer. he got good ratings too. We all love to watch freaks. finally – go fuck yourself, you stupid bitch. I fucking dare you to post this… what a no talented ass clown you are. Oh I am not going to post my shit, because unlike you… I don’t have to prove shit. whatta cunt.
merkley???: ha ha ha she sounds really intelligent
me: i know right my mind is BLOWN
merkley???: i bet you are really sad about it all
me: yeah she really knows the real me, her of all people, my heart is in pain right now especially when she dared me to post her comment
merkley???: what will happen if you post it?
me: dont know she thinks im hurt by it? whatever maine, where she lives is burn enough on her. comments like these make me feel sad about society
merkley???: they make me feel sad about EVERYTHING
me: yeah
merkley???: i mean that horse email was just plain MEAN
does that 16 year old girl even know how much time and effort i put into that thing and for what reason? to make people laugh to create a little joy
me: i know i feel hurt on behalf of your hurt
merkley???: and then she just turns around and calls me an ass WHOLE like an ass ENTIRELY
me: i really feel like you put a lot of care into the horse site cos i feel the same way EXACTLY about horses and i have been waiting patiently my entire life for a site like yours
merkley???: it just takes the wind out of my sails
me: oh HUG <3 there there
merkley???: whats the point in even joking if its just going to hurt someone?
me: i just wish people on the internet could be more thoughtful
merkley???: i didn’t mean any harm
me: aw i feel like we need the advice of lonesome dove right now in a MAJOR way
merkley???: thats what those blogs should really be used for
like when people write crazy emails like those to go back as lonesome dove and talk about the hurt
me: can we talk about MY pain now i mean first she told me i sucked then she said i spread my leg MY LEG i didnt know i could spread one leg that totally blew my mind cos she is so intelligent like that
merkley???: how did she know about the amputation
me: and then she went and fully complimented me comparing me to jerry springer
he is RICH that girl is saying that i can be rich too?
merkley???: yeah well at least you’re not an ass WHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with a billion exclamations points
me: man i would HATE to be the whole of an ass
merkley???: she really knows how to hit where it hurts
she probbly takes a psychology class
me: i feel sorry for anyone who will comment after that cos the bar has been raised so high – then she said unlike me she doesnt have to prove shit – wow, right there, she is so right, cos her comment just totally said it all finally at last, there is nothing left to say. i should be thanking this girl, i feel like her comment really helped me, set me straight
merkley???: no it really is a wake up call
