it was me!

remember that salad i was yamming about, fucking hell, or maybe it was then having the greasiest late nite grilled cheese sandwich at this truly awful place off bourbon street and woof, get ready for my full report on obesity. i also had this drink that i forget the name of, a cross between a mojita and a margarita, which i suspect may have been one more spike in the coffin of my nausea. we were fortunate to sit beside a table of 8 ladies nite out hippopotamuses at this restaurant, fortunate because of the retarded drinks they were ordering and their platters of food and then when the bill came how they all in poor tastely nickel and dimed over it, the one who said she was arrested a year ago and her sister bailed her out was the one who bickered the most over it. i really wanted to get a crazy to-go drink in one of those hurricane cups or whatever but every time i walked in to one of those lit-up fluorescent barf coloured stores i got really shy and walked right back out. people here do not understand the concept of my outfit choices and individuality and the urge to stomp on people’s feet from gawking at me was all too strong.

so i’m on the bathroom floor for a long time cos the a/c was cranked in the room and too cold for my head so i had to put the covers over it then got way claustrophobic and nauseous so off to the bathroom, i had someone bring up pepto bismol and it made it worse then barf city happened. ps. you have to tip EVERYONE here such a scam.

ok shower time.

yep it’s true, it might have blown over, the sky is pretty funky right now.

i ate the worst room service salad evs and felt like puking the bed immediately after i’m better now.

oh wait the red warning bar got worse, i might get to visit OZ yet.

sorry that twister joke was pretty gay. leslie is off booze for the rest of her life apparently, not me, i’m trying to get cut off the mini bar, canned corona numero deux, and i finished the wine.

yes more pics on MY FLICKR AGAIN go!

done with the sheraton, now we are over looking the mississippi in a v. nice swank hotel and everyone is loads nicer.

slave quarters in the courtyard of the bar we drank at last nite, cuckoo to see.

absinthe. it was crap, based on how not hungover i am, i know it was weak and got ripped off but still it did make things temporarily funky and my jokes got better.

we are here cos leslie wants to buy a house and i’m tagging along, she’s going to get this very neat shotgun house. the history of shotgun houses are, back in the day when rich white dudes had black gf’s they bought them these homes to live and do it in. classy right?

everyone here is really nice and laidback and friendly and chat you up and compliment you it’s great, i also feel extremely skinny too so that’s a bonus.

last nite i took a tiny bottle of wine out of the fridge and didn’t get charged for it, or for the scotch from two nites ago, i guess it woulda been insult to injury to charge us for that.

we drank pimm’s last nite. it is virtually impossible to not consume carbs right now. i was this close to getting something from popeye’s earlier today, i had to go in to get leslie a sprite. then we killed some time before checking in here by driving around taking pics of some of the devastation. houses have TFW spray painted on them, which means toxic flood water. and RIP. and dead body inside, or dead dog inside. crazy. one stoop said KEEP OFF HIPSTERS hahaha burn.

cockroaches of the sea, crawfish, we call these crayfish in canada, and yes i know they’re not really the same thing. ps. what’s with that potato?

fat dudes with cellphone belts and golf shirts walk around smoking cigars here it’s really gross. when you say thank you they say mhmm, kinda arrogant.

it is sooo hot here my hair is a fuzzy fuckin’ grease mess i have no idea how it would be possible to wear makeup in the summer.

oh yeah this bar was closing so they gave us our last drinks in to-go cups. no probs dudes!

see? who are you, winston churchill? the napolean is the oldest bar in the quarter, something like 350 years old. yes fil i took a picture of the plaque for you.

famous most amazing restaurant apparently.

i need to shave in the worst way possible.

more pics on flickr.

brangelina’s house.

hi! last nite was bananas!

i saw brangelina’s house! i bought a crazy cat mask! i saw slave quarters! i had some absinthe! and i heard a realtor refer to black people as “the blacks” and we almost got kicked out of the hotel cos we left the dog here and well, bananas, total shit show. i’ll tell you more about it later. well we probably are getting kicked out of the hotel. anyway the french quarter is beeeeeautiful and humongous too.

a big fat potbelly pig roams this ‘hood.

i changed my outfit three times yesterday. it’s safe to say that i over packed.

they also refer to black people as canadians here so they don’t know they’re being talked about. can you believe it? god.

charlotte is a katrina rescue, and blind, i was sure to throw that in their faces last nite. they treated us like criminals over this tiny little dog. they also said that a waiver was signed (wasn’t) that stated the dog was not to be left alone in the room, loophole.

more pics in my flickr this is taking an unbelievable amount of time, i regret not bringing my laptop now.

ungh being kicked out gotta go.

more pics are/will be up on my flickr so keep going there, i’m trying to get them online and off leslie’s laptop THAT DOESN’T HAVE A MOUSE SO THIS IS TAKING FOREVER! i asked if we could buy her a mouse today. we know where brangelina’s house is. i’m going to swim in the hotel pool it’s SO hot here! i sat beside a pilot on the flight from chicago to NOLA i asked him ten million questions so i’m basically a pilot now.

new journal.

it’s like living with a ligre.

here’s some NOLA pics leslie took already.

sigh.

new orleans-bound tomorrow kids.

crystal rolls lunch special.

if offered jasmine tea, say no, it’s not free, or even very good.

209 CAD for 200 USD.

birthday spoilings.

i’ll blow this guy when i get back.

lunch special includes soup, salad, spring roll and rice (no rice if your dish consists of noodles and what-not) this is a pumpkin soup with a huge hint of coconut, v. good.

some mango slivers in there, quite interesting and light, i’d like to parody something like it one day for snacks.

the never-ending cardigan wearing cardigan.

luckily they totally ignore you at crystal rolls, or pretend to, when you’re taking oliver twist eating gruel imitation shots of yourself in the empty restaurant. the lunch special is served ’til 4.30pm

treated myself to some carbs i figure i’m pre-menses and need the boost and i’m about to embark on an eating tour of the french quarter so may as well bone up the palette some.

barely ate half, got the rest to go including spring roll for fil.

it’s time for a stand-up tan!

feelin’ a bit barfy, i really have to stop dining on asian cuisine and tanning less than 3 minutes afterward, i really thought i would spew or crap the booth.

it’s the super stand-up, i do 8 minutes, which equals roughly 14 minutes regular bed.

sir mix a lot was on the radio during my go at’er then some cheesy r’n b garbage.

what? sure! where!?

next felt dude is sure gonna be flamboyant.

matchingish hippie’d out bracelets for monstergirl and i, she gets to decide which one is less gay for her.

haha look at cid the acorn on steroids.

rilah‘s gift.

o’kai laundry goes in the dryer now bye!

oh kirsty‘s present came!