first of all i’ll have you know that i have a zit on my right eyebrow totally nestled within it and it hurts like hell and i keep messin’ with it and i just know at some point tonight i’ll absent-mindedly explode it and have blood pouring down my face, CAN’T WAIT! k here’s the shit i didn’t buy but still kinda want, i need someone to babysit me while i shop and tell me yes or no so that i buy these guys anyway to spite them. jesus i have to put my camera settings back to normal these things are huge!

this thing is a pinky red shade from costa blanca (shut up) for 29 bucks, did not want, well, the mirrors are not helpful at all. i made a dumb video of me dancing around in it i’ll screen for how gay it is before sharing.

i tried to imagine myself in sandals or ballet flats or my boots instead of my old man pants around my ankles, couldn’t make the vision work. anyone who wants to go back with me in real life to offer a second opinion, let me know.

well hello old friends.

next up is aa, this thing is a medium and insanely tight and if you ate a tic tac it would show. i am on the fence regarding how some of aa’s stuff encourages you to just let it all hang out OR be a fucking unachievable waif. i tried it on in black and blue – ten more pounds shed and i will buy one in every shade.

i walked out to try and be jokey fun time with the girls on staff, they were not feeling it, holy shit make me feel like a big heel much you assholes?!! this is why your store is always empty and people try to be invisible when they go there.

ok i’m wearing underwear under this garment, it’s a onesie strapless i don’t know what, something to do mushrooms in at the cottage and fall in the lake?

i want it still.

you can see my ass tan lines, ps i terribly had to pee so my tum tum isn’t so tight.

the best part of the experience is knowing that the moment you leave they all make fun of you. it’s ok though cos you balance it out by getting deodorant on everything. i tried on some shorts to replace the ones some cuckoo bird chopped up, passed, til next time.

the potato sack dress i bought.

i caved and bought that bag i talked about before, in brown, poor nicole.

cave the second, brown LEGGINGS don’t judge! now i can go to one of alicia’s hipster bbqs!

on the phone with leslie she’s telling me about a fire happening in nola.

click to enlarge the awesome.

in the words of kiki dunst, DEPRESSION NOT ADDICTION I SWEAR IT!

ps. rugby shirt dude may or may not have narrowly avoided a shit beating last nite, i somewhat regret intervening, turns out he fully deserved it. nice flip flops you donut.

oh yeah tomorrow at the opera house we’re seeing this “folky, canadian jeff buckley” interesting arty theatre student PETER KATZ dude. ungh mouthful. it’s his last local gig before embarking on a UK tour this summer, so people really need to see him before the brits claim him.

he even has a poetry section on his blog for all you whimsical hurtbags, ha. basically, i’m going, so you have to go too. i will even let you pet my hair, maybe.

oh mg, good good times.

waitin’ for the sooobway.

pitt gets kudos for the genius what was the giant beer, lazy waitresses can scram.

flashing the geniuses inside.

oh hai.

go away groupies.

get the hint.

hey britt.

here comes a bunch of fail.

F.

total F.

yes more fail.

last chance big fail.

my show pics are not too amazing (fil’s will no doubt be phenomenal), i was fiddling with my camera settings and entered confusionville, couldn’t remember if 7M was better than 5M or 3M ungh.

god will my bangs just fucking grow!

so pretty.

it’s neat to see matt sing without a guitar in his hands, looks so naked.

backstage again trying not to get in everyone’s way.

oh hi i think i’ve seen your face before.

hung out in the front for a few.

i went for a super tan two days ago and wtf nothing, maybe i’ll go again today.

groooooooooopies, some even for me. one guy in the green room during the after party 6 feet away from matt goes YOU’RE SICK MATT GOOD! hahahaha.

pete slipped suzie a non-alcy beer ahhahahahahaa i told her when i was going down the fire escape when she started lipping me and kept going she goes oh that sucks. she told me all nite long how hot fil was like I KNOW ALREADY SHUT UP DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH YOU NOW OR LATER?

that is some unforgiving lighting.

matt was hella bagged.

britt was making fun of me, whatever, next time you can just LEAVE!

you’re welcome.

pete said i was hot all nite long so burn on fil.

love you matt see you in ‘sauga.

nice meeting everyone else too!

pics of drunkaoke to come.

SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY NO ONE CARES GO GET A NEW VIBRATOR OR SOMETHING!

haha These chicks are so old…it’s going to be like watching these hags out in the city trying to get laid at every opportunity they can find.

in one of the 600 frat houses nearby and he has a british accent and every time we walk by it seems like he amps it up a bit, like he got it into his head that this is how he will get toronto pussy, his advantage over the rest of the monkeys in the fraternity. well yesterday i finally looked up through my shades to see which lout this guy is, and i am happy to report that he actually looks like a monkey. and he’s a jock. they were all jocked out yesterday in fact and the high school part of me is always prepped and expecting something to be said when i pass by so i always have a few zingers in my pockets, but nothing is said other than this british accented puffing up fuck i wish i could remember what he said yesterday, i should start writing these gems down and practice them phonetically with a brit affect, it just really seems put on and i wonder if he ever gets called out for it, mark holmes-style at mod club.

sometimes there’s the good drunk we pass by, the eccentric kid in the sport coat totally ripped and happy to see us, pats us on the back, then we bump into him a few hours later a few streets over and we’re like family, real endearing like.

omg what should i wear tonite guuuuuuys? don’t forget i’m not babysitting any of you at imperial pub before mg’s show, though pitt plans to start getting soused early, i was toying with not even drinking today at all, we’ll see how that goes. doors are 7, first act at 8, then matt at 9 or so, i guess we’ll be at the pub for 7 or something?

Imperial Pub Tavern

54 Dundas Street East, Toronto, ON, M5B1C7

UPSTAIRS!!!

oh my purse bit the dust, zipper-wise, and if this thing came in moccasin tan i’d get it, but it doesn’t, so i won’t. any suggestions?

sniff sniff 4 dollar salvation army purse thing. might have to bust out my grandma’s old faux business tote satchel thing tonite.

i feel old: sober movie laundry patio furniture nite yes!

we rented the diving bell and the butterfly, it is sad and depressing and inspiring and then more sad and maybe a bit boring, but one of those pretentious art films you’re obligated to say you liked, you know that story about the dude who blinked out an entire novel and died ten days later? well he was the editor of french elle, and this is the movie about it. i mean, i liked it, and it made me cry, and you will like it too. but you will also be sleepy and annoyed.

attn: DUDES IN TORONTO!

Hi Raymi,

Hiiiiiiiii! I all of a sudden had a brain fart and was hoping you may be able to help! I’m working on a show that deals with women, body image & plastic surgery. We have an episode that is dealing with body modification – specifically tattoos. We’re looking for one guy with a tattoo (from 4-5:30pm) and two guys without (from 5:45-7:15) to spend sometime on camera with us tomorrow. We’re going to be shooting a fun social experiment that looks at men’s impression of women with and without tattoos.

email: sharpachu@gmail.com

britt claims to have intended to buy this for me, kept it for herself instead.

this is what time to go home looks like.

britt and her friend told me stories about their time in boarding school which lead to britt thinking i would have made a good boarding school kid, heh, yeah right, which lead to me telling just how i fared in “boarding school” england: ketamine, one nite stands, stealing furniture, walking into other people’s rooms during dinner to just hang, one girl stole my fake id, sneaking out at nite, coming back to sign in and take off again, hangovers, and i didn’t miss one class. anyway, memmooooooooories.

now i’m going to ADD clean the bathroom.

i almost just made myself barf while whitening my teeth, i see how long i can go with all the crap in my mouth before my gag reflex kicks in.

don’t you just love deucing so hard that it cancels out having to exercise today!

hey join this event ya dicks!

oh yeah everyone before matt good‘s show on thursday, go to the imperial pub/bar/tavern, whatever it’s called, same one as last time, upstairs, and this time TALK TO ME and/or INTRODUCE YOURSELF no wimpy staring from across the room!

this is when she started to get on my nerves and would not shut up about capturing these birds like i get it they’re flocking or whatever please stop yelling.