this is SO going on my blog you drunk

i will tone down the suck

june 2006 archives

that‘s a sneeze glob from saturday

as you can imagine there were loads of fuckfaces there, but free food, tons of beer tickets and cankles and thunderthighs and club district dudes to make fun of

these guys create the magic that is the crap what is this blog.

here is a boring exciting convo/fight for you singles to read to bask in the glory what is long-term commitment:

shouldn’t have dyed it.

hangin’ tough at meadowvale mall.

i must’ve hit that chick in the face with my hair a hundred times. she wanted it.

his jaw was a little clenchy.

i kind of look like a praying mantis no?

you can tell i am not a fan cos there is still food in my bowl.

back when i used to take pictures of bands.

i have something to say, you are all annoying assholes.

i’m mostly a fucking bitch to people in a what i think is a jokey way, half the time it goes over well and the person has a raging boner for me then they don’t leave.

me: i was in the middle of bragging about myself and all my amazing attributes and then i brought you up in the most passive of ways, it was like straight out of our coolness rules guide, like i was tossing a package of chips in slow motion to some guy without even looking

dear rich people, deeming something a panty-remover does not make it so.

THE DAY I DECIDED TO ROCK THESE SHORTS AND YOU ALL TRIED TO STOP ME!

i told ron sexsmith strawberry blond was one of my favourite songs and he said oh should we play that one? YES. he did. then afterward he said thanks for mentioning it cos they never know what songs to do.

I don’t know how you deal with this abuse from a bunch of petty shitheads who sit around all day waiting for your every move that they will then attempt to copy and call their own.

i said that too. just in case the nerds forget that they are the problem not the solution.

dear alcohol LEAVE ME ALONE!

i am not a rap guy

1600 times i can turn it on until it sets on fire and explodes in my hand?

+++

somebody spoke and i went into a dream. sigh.

i ate this last nite it was delicious and then i almost barfed! it’s chicken “chile”

i can’t wait to eat it again and i am not joking.

alicia‘s first time at green room.

i’ma be stuck with some serious jowls if i don’t stop this puckering business.

big jugs day i told you.

then i threw the frisbee in a tree.

sigh, to live here.

be back soon!

god i hate bathingsuit season so much, it hella sneaks up on you.

no make up today, after seeing megan fox’s tanned face on the mtv movie awards i have decided it’s no more ghostface raymi.

if i’m lucky i’ll get my menses on the beach.

i’m kinda sick of being so flat. though admittedly right now my jugs are pms huge (not that you can tell in any of these pictures).

just as long as i shuffle sideways into the beach, we’re good.

part 3 cooking with aunt raymi!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand part 4

we‘re going to the beach today and i am bloated out of my fucking mind! and stomach!

i am squirly waiting for fil to bring me back a shawarma, statcounter is cacked right now so one of my obsessive online activities is out (i NEED to know how many retards are cruising my blog at all hours) as well as haloscan being gay and my blog loading slow and waiting for these videos to load for centuries and and and! oh look here’s one now! you can skip it if you want but be sure to watch parts 2 3 and 4.

part 1

side pony gets scrapped in video 2 cos it highlighted my “working” and “concentrating” facial expression – read: fatface.

this one is LOADS more interesting, in fact, you probably shouldn’t have watched part 1 at all.

part 2

oh yeah, duffy isn’t french, she’s english. no you’re stupid.

part 3 and 4 to come later i’m tired of the netz.

+++

big ups to woodbridge for showin’ up

good morning world.

yes my blog is taking eons to load today GOD INTERNET GET IT TOGETHER!

last nite’s delicious masterpiece! so so so perfumey and sensational.

three hours later whipped up a new one.

movie still from the worst cooking show EVAR that you will watch anyway cos you make dioramas “for fun”.

reunited and it feeeeeels so good!

turn off the lights loblaws you are contributing to global warming! thanks for the photo opp though.

if this came in sleeveless it would be buried in clothes mountain over hurr right now.

come fall, this beast is mine.

me: fil and i are taking turns doing impressions of the noise itunes makes when it’s done importing a cd
cid is getting annoyed
i will import this information into my BLOG

buh, flickr’s being a right dick right now i’m trying to upload pictures of the wonderful dinner i made last nite, and yes, i made a 5-part video of it too, it was not easy.

ok now i have to preview these vids to see how dumb they are and how many butter faces i make.

oh and i’ll have you know that since blog-dissing sex and the city i have gotten in a huge fight with a friend (resolved now) and THREE facebook SATC gifts, two shoes and 1 martini glass. FUCK OFF YOU GUYS!

heh kidding.

basically my take on that show/movie is, you can be a sexy empowered woman and not look to those characters as role models or representatives for how you feel about men and sex and love, i could not ever get into the show, and i think it’s cos i out-yuppied myself when i was a teenager, too many issues of cosmo and tiny skirts and old men skeletons in my closet to care anymore. plus, i’m kind of a slob.

and evidently all of toronto is wearing yellow dresses now, so thanks for that one too.

update: ok i watched all four cooking vids and they’re pretty good, i hit my stride about video 2 and keep going from there, if i don’t get my own show out of this garbage then you can pretty much give up on your own dreams of fame, i mean, not to toot my own horn or anything buuuuuuut i’m probably the most charming person in the world.

mimosas, that’s what. and mariokart. and i beat the game before fil. crazy thunderstorms all afternoon, sun showers too, before that when i went out to get coffee and breakfast (from las iguanas)(breakfast burrito + breakfast special) it was piping HOT, talkin’ steeeeeeeamy and 22-25 degrees! we’re gonna roadtest a new recipe tonite i will film it for all you little rude foodies out there. nothing insane, pretty simple. i’m diggin’ on these leggings, they remind me of dance class, why couldn’t this look be in style when i was a kid?

i picked up some new eye liner, was going to treat you to a video of the inaugural eye application, thought better of it, knew it would turn out cleopatra tranny. feh. here’s to no longer dragging mascara along my lower eyelid in lieu of the proper stuff.

we’re not really breakfast people so the majority of my plate went to waste and hell yeah i smother everything in sour cream, even bacon. i used to order a side of sour cream at KOS when it was at bathurst/college all the time. this is what we’re doing for dinner.

i blame ordering this on fil, he asked me to get him a tuna sandwich (he’s trying to eat healthier) which translated to champagne and grease as it traveled through raymi’s pre-caffeine brain. i remember when i wasn’t so thin and i tried and tried to lose weight and couldn’t (had to wait for meds to wear off and my metabolism to snap back) and fil could eat garbage all the time and i was basically starving myself and still a beast, not fair.

dirtiest mirror in all of toronto and the dress i DID buy.