*update* WHO WANTS TO BUY THIS GUITAR SIGNED BY ME I AM EXTREMELY FAMOUS YOU COULD FRAME IT, PUT IT IN A SHADOW BOX ON YOUR WALL, MOUNT IT, I DON’T CARE! highest bidder gets it.

the rest are on flickr. right off the bat a chunk of someone’s guitar flew into my right knee, i was nervous i would be hit by flying guitar debris, and then it happened, and then on my last smash i smashed my right foot. it hurt. i got to keep my guitar. mine wasn’t as destroyed as other people’s, i’m kinda wimpy. lots of canadian celebs were there smashing guitars too, i don’t know any of their names. nhl players too. my hangover should kick in around 2 o’clock. tiffany chose all of her friends to fill up the rest of the 30 guitar smashing spots, it felt like high school sitting at our tables eating our buffet, i didn’t really talk to anyone cos i’m a shy guy also i didn’t wash my face or re-apply make-up so i felt like a disgusting greasy piece of shit rockin’ last nite’s face, i wanted to wear my sunglasses but we had to wear these dorky goggles.

oh the internet has decided to work again i’ll throw the rest up here now in a sec k brb don’t go anywhere you guys!

this plus 2 cups of coffee, i am not a breakfast eater, well i am, but i typically don’t eat til the afternoon, anyway i needed this.

being up early in a rock restaurant blaring jams when you are still annihilated from the nite before is an interesting experience.

ooh ooh behind darrin is an nhl dude, phone guy and i think the grey hoodie guy too, they sat beside us and were very, cliquey. i should have said something, hey i don’t know your name but i know you play or played in the nhl, how insulted are you right now on a scale of 1 to 10 can you sign my guitar?

free t-shirt.

i think it took 4 tries to bust it in half it hurt my hands to grip the neck, i held back, the wires were the first thing to pop out.

also, i was the only moron to continue wearing the goggles w/o realizing everyone else took theirs off.

thank you cid.

ungh my brain.

+++

hey raymi

-D

i want to barf

i barely took pictures last nite i was having too much fun being a dance sensation. i would like to apologize to any and all who witnessed the dance “sensation” oh man. my ankle bones are chafed and raw. yes, i pulled out the jazz moves.

double decker home.

i am totally pissed at cid, he bit me last nite like never before and i cannot pinpoint the exact moment it happened, i just know that afterward he attacked my head too while i was lying down and i turned on the light panting and hyper-ventilating and crying and fil didn’t know why and kept saying relax then i showed him my arm. it looks like i have stitches, the blood is all black! cid does not like visitors (thanks pitt).

and now i get to smash a defective gibson guitar and be on television, etalk is covering it, i dunno, hopefully they will cover my barf too.

pitt just told me i don’t know what it’s like to be a nerdy guy, it sucks apparently.

thanks pitt, you are like a wealth of knowledge that i never knew.

oh man we are basically ripped already, i just heard him destroy the toilet paper roll thing. sorry viv, i’m going to keep him out of the sun.

pitt says: what happened to the rum?

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU ME

i’ve been fighting with fark geniuses all day, apparently i am an androgynous stoner as well as a pre-op tranny and i’m fat. so far my hits are at 4355, usually at this point of the day they’d be around 1300. pitt is coming in soon to test out the whiskeybalcony chairs and then we are going to the nxne opening party tonite i am stressed over what to wear, yeah i know important stuff. it’s going to be cooler down by the water and it’s hard to envision that when you are marinating in your BO and underwear on the couch FIGHTING WITH TEENAGERS ABOUT YOUR MARIOKART SKILLS!

good news, i got rid of my rush shirt yesterday, thanks laura i hope it fits your waify boyfriend!

ok back to my outfit, i think it will be leggings and mary janes and AA dress and ALL of my necklaces and the zit above my lip, don’t forget that.

yes this!!! thank you. and yay it made it on fark. man those commenters are fucking assholes though. ok here’s a dude who isn’t a loser:

Tresser: fat chick obsessed with cock…who saw THAT coming.

If she’s fat, you must find the Olsen twins a bit tubby.

alicia gave me two peasant shirts, yay.

dudes i’m stressed! love raymi!

wow, i hate you.

that’s rough.

you are such a piece of shit, that’s animal abuse, you don’t deserve to have a dog. it’s bad enough when parents let their children overeat, but to overfeed a pet that doesn’t have the ability to stop itself, that’s cruel and unforgivable.

ewwwwww i’m trying really heard picturing someone who looks like a porn star doing this but i have a feeling you look like a fat sweaty clammy cow, hence the jogging.

as you should be, let them duke it out on their own, live your life buddy.

i told fil that i whisper this into cid’s ear all the time HAHAHAHAha he was not pleased.

i brought a huge red dildo to the UK when i was 17 and the last week of the trip i started getting wicked paranoid over it so i threw it in a garbage can in rayne’s park wimbledon. i always wonder if some hobo found it and what the look on their face was.

it’s hard to see yourself as skinny if you were ever big and lost the weight, shitty, you go through life feeling like a whale and inevitably put the weight back on then look at old pics of yourself when you were thin and feel shitty all over again like fuck why didn’t/couldn’t i enjoy that body when i had it!?!?

awwwwwwwwwwwwww that makes me feel so sad. i bet i would likely do the same.

good, finally someone who is rightfully told off doesn’t flip it around and project it back onto the person doing the telling off, why the fuck can some people just not take the truth? if you’r a dick and i tell you HEY YOU’RE A DICK why do you turn it into a much larger thing about me and MY problems? i mean, i thought we were talking about how much of a dick you are and i’m trying to help you change.

don’t bother, it will be so underwhelming when you meet again in ten years. i got in contact with my fave high school teacher over email recently and was so pumped that we would have all these long email exchanges, dude can barely string a 5 word sentence together. i know in real life he’s rad but internet-him, snore. i hope he doesn’t read my blog!

i forger why i saved this one to make fun of.

FIL I KNOW YOU SENT THIS ONE IN ABOUT ME YOU ASSHOLE!

yeah well it made ME feel fat and lazy and drunk.

dear god, please strike this person by lightning cos they are too moronic for this world. THAT “DUDE” ISN’T A DUDE, SHE HAS FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS!

sorry this postsecret was a little uninspired, i need to start taking notes about each card i save when i save it. here’s all the other post secret posts i ever did:

here

here

here

here

here

here

oh and guess what! i just found out i’m having my book published by a real publisher, a chapbook version of it, which means i will also publish it on cafepress afterward in entirety.

THE INTERNET WAS DOWN SINCE I WOKE UP AND I STARTED CRYING (didn’t) AND THAT DIDN’T FIX IT BUT THEN FIL CAME HOME AND FIXED IT AND NOW I DON’T HAVE TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND RENT MOVIES ALL DAY LONG LIKE A L-OOOSER.

hi.

i was woken up by cramps at 6am and had to sleep on the couch with a nitemask, the bedroom was too hot cos the a/c in our building isn’t on yet. last nite we got the craziest loudest thunder/lightning storm, cid was petrified he cowered by my side of the bed on the floor, he never does that, it’s a blow to his ego admitting that he needs me for protection. burn on cid! we watched national treasure part 2 last nite, aside from the campy adult disney gayness, i liked it, the carmenere helped of course. plus nic cage’s hair looks more and more fucked up in each new scene. poor guy.

back to the weather, toronto is experiencing crazy tropical shit right now, hot hot hot sunny all day long then at nite huge ass rain storms, it’s pretty cool. i picture the planet getting pounded by lightning and get little kid scared over it, like how many more cracks can it withstand. GAY i know!