neither bell i bought fits on fil’s bike. we watched super high me last nite, it was alright, kinda weak, obvs made by stoners. listening to stoners when you’re on a drunk is very irritating, like no we are not on the same wavelength right now duuuuude the tone and timing of all your jokes are so not making me laugh right now. but for all you potheads out there, this movie will make you laugh. then we ate the fridge (not much in there) and were still hungry so we rode to ginger for the first time and i noticed a girl staring at me a lot 1. she reads my blog or 2. was just confused by my presence for some reason? STOP LOOKING AT ME EVERY TIME I TURN MY HEAD PLEASE. do you ever get stares? the last thing you are allowed to tell yourself is they so think i’m a babe, it has to be every negative thing BEFORE you are allowed to jump to that conclusion. anyway, staring doesn’t jive with me cos i am too neurotic to look at people when out for a stroll, i only steal glances if i know i can get away with it, i don’t blatantly ogle them, like said chick was last nite. so not a big deal i know just using it as an example, cos on a few occasions when i’m just standing there minding my own, some chick will come around and bore through my brain with her eyeballs and i always want to ask WHY, not in a rude way, just you know, are you in a crazy right now? moving on oh right i decided to be creepy sleazy romantical to fil all nite long here are some of the things i said YOU ARE SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR and HEY LOVERRRRRRR and ugh i can’t even finish i’m about to throw up in my mouth. all things said in wickedly breathy fashion of course *cringe*

today’s weather seems like it’s going to blow so there’s that.

i’ve also decided i’m no longer putting up with anymore of your guys’s shit, don’t comment here on some fucking anecdote i wrote about in passing and assume you have it all figured out, stop wasting my time and pissing me off. thank you. if you have nothing intelligent to say that doesn’t revolve around how i put some sod in their place (most of the time i’m not even doing that, it’s their shitty behaviour i’m highlighting here and i barely get a balanced word in to counter) and how fucking EVIL i am, remove yourself from my comment thread or maybe THINK on it first, because you’re a little baby wuss who lets people shit on you in real life and get away with it, doesn’t mean everyone else is.

i’ve strayed too far from the original point of this journal and have allowed all your sensitive-susan’s opinions shit up my vision. you know what i mean? i’m not a giant asshole who walks around screaming at people, i merely share stories on my blog about stupid assholes who get my goat cos i find it entertaining, as do many others. i go out in the world and shit either happens to me or around my immediate vicinity and then i friggin’ blog about it, simple. if you live in a city and frequently go out, the probability of some jerkoff lipping at you for no good reason is pretty high (and i don’t even write about every little thing that occurs) but you wouldn’t know that would you from behind your safe little computer desk in suburbia, so stick to your martha stewart crafts webring in the future maybe?

i’m also bringing back this poll, last year’s results are still there:

unfortunately the thread for these gems is gone, but still, hahahaahhaha.

THAT’S MY FUCKING FACE!

have since turned them into daisy dukes that the entire universe hates.

dericious salad.

jap food a la burlington.

diarrhea sandwich.

duh you have an allergy, genius.

jerry had a huge bodyguard with him to guard his long stupid ponytail and wimpy arms

me: now that it’s on my blog maybe you can have a dream about your dream

that outfit i’m wearing is so fucking stupid i can’t stop laughing.

velvet revolver/alice in chains pics.

new shit product

a package from etienne came today.

found another emo journal from 2001, living in brooklyn, mississauga, then maine.

so here is another story about the annex.

seeing as my blog is blocked from every public computer, i may as well keep up my end of the deal.

50th anniversay of on the road.

because nothing makes me want to buy a watch more than ghost rider.

guntsicles

this is how aged i am, my left ass cheeck buttock if you will, is in total agony, i tried to push fil into a wall on the way to the varsity theatre yesterday

the actual piece i wrote for laist.

uuuuuuuuuh is someone playing a tambourine inside your head too?

i’m sorry if you can’t handle that i had miles of leg BEFORE wedges and now i am mt. everest with big period tits

next time i will just play dumb so hard that he brushes my hair for me.

Hey raymi,

Good work on appearing in my dream last night.

so we slept in the scary house in our tent

my nana and papa’s 50th anniversary party.

fil‘s mom really wants grandchildren.

this one’s for the ladies

you have infiltrated my unconscious mind

my beautiful poetry slams war has been wiped away, sigh.

shedoesthecity went live a year ago from this date.

bacon!!!!!

more island pics.

we played go fish and it almost got violent

party in your mouth party

and now it is time to hate on hip hop culture (fucking babies).

pitt decided to involve himself in a game of catch with two dudes, who were casually lobbing a ball back and forth, pitt ever the competitor, whipped the ball to one guy and the other launched it back, pitt caught it with his face.

evidence i’m skinnier since this photo was taken, well less-wide, plus that dress was super unforgiving and the jacket over-top completely hides my waistline.

save me a poster jen!

and new honest ed’s slippers, this time i got my own size (8) they seem like they will give a little, 9.99 and comes in blue white black metallic silvery, if they end up not being heel killers i’ll go back and get black.

i also got us new bike bells!

here’s what they sound like:

that dog has the best pigtails i have ever seen on a dog.

kenny and i are friends again.

fil took the stickers off his bike when he noticed someone with the same ride did the same. he was also pretty ripped yesterday.

i looked like shit all day yesterday, didn’t shower. i think i have to dye my hair soon and get a face tan.

whenever i get interviewed about this piece of shit blog, i’m always asked how or why i started blogging and i always credit this guy jacob, he’s the one who told me about blogger.com back in 2000 when i was fervently shitting up the vice forums, he’s like take what you’re doing there into your OWN space. i asked him dude how do i make a name for myself how do i get known how do i get big? he said i had to move to toronto and immerse myself in the scene, go to parties and shows, just be present, basically. you all have jacob to thank, he had a big hand in creating this monster.

i’ve got an obsessed blingee admirer.

this shows up when i call samir. thanks buddy!

a woman joked that this photograph i took would cost me a dollar. yeah, so funny.

sambo and sharpie coincidentally were on the island yesterday.

i can fit that frisbee over my ass and around my waist.

then the gill party arrived to celebrate shane’s birthday (gill’s man).

yohawn? johanne? something like that, quiet chill dude.

the sun disappeared for an hour and eventually came back with avengeance.

maddy.

maddy’s dad, gill’s brother donovan.

sass nap.

volleyball party.

maddy cleared out the surrounding beach, it was most awesome.

claire came too, no pics of her on the beach though, later on at the drake you will see her captured.

trashed blanket.

on our way to the clubhouse to get in on those drink tickets not like i needed any.

see fil and maddy in the distance and the sun breaking through the clouds all heaven-like? siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

ok so some original artists stick this branch into the sand and i say to the dude photographing it during this picture THIS WAS MY IDEA that’s great and he goes UH NO! my sarcasm went right over his head.

and might i declare that you are no longer allowed to wear those stupid fucking hats? why not throw some gladiators in for good measure ok?

ART EVERYONE LOOK AT THE ART OMG ART!

when we passed this other blanket of skids, sass was complaining about the rocks in the sand hurting her feet and one goes oh please go back to toronto (um we are in toronto right now on this beach you fucking genius) and then save up some money and go to florida and we just gave them a goofy look and i declared YOU ARE SOOOO HILARIOUS! then we keep walking and i turned back and did the ok sign at them and the girl skid does the Loser sign over her forehead. wicked, a dirty chick thinks we are losers. why would you instantly assume over a snippet of conversation that we’re beach snobs, fuck you idiot, i love that beach.