Author Archives: raymi

to live life outside the world

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so this kid when i was 21, this kid drives his little shitbox car to oakville from brampton to take me out for drinks cos i’m bored shitless and broke, he even brought me a box of ferrero rocher cute no? (fil out of spite helped me annihilate them later on that evening. jealousy traps work ladies hear me now, always!) he was 18 i think or 19. anyway, he was way positive and un-jaded, super nice, very naive and not one bitter bone in his body and i was trying to bounce all the shitty things i knew of the world on to him to warn him or some such thing. we were sitting on the curb out front of what used to be the three judges back when i smoked, the town ‘mo was flirting up a storm with him and my two other guy friends who stopped by blah bla blah anyway he recently found me on facebook and wrote me asking if i had remembered him to which i replied:

Raymi Lauren White
January 24 at 12:56pm
i remember hi! how are you, still positive and all that hopefully, jaded?
how old are you now

bye!

Matt
January 24 at 1:35pm
ha its nice that you could remember how naively positive I can be. no I’m not really the same unfortunately, but its really not that unfortunate. I’m not in any mood to be hopeful, I think you nailed it with jaded. I’m 23 now, flunked out of university because it was useless to me, living on the outskirts of the city to save on rent, selling weed to make money cause I lost my job before christmas, basically uninspired towards any forward momentum. stopped blogging forever ago I couldn’t keep it up, my outlets now are music reviews and a graphic zombie trilogy I’m hammering out, my first experience with writing dialogue.

I’m either going to get more involved with Toronto soon or I’m getting the fuck out entirely for a while and trying a new city. let me know if you have any ideas of how to stay or where to go, I feel like you’d be one to know.

seriously hope to run into you sometime, small city and all.

this is actually him:

just kidding, this is him now:

seriously, do you have some advice for the guy? and while you’re at it any for me too? my advice meter is kinda tapped right now. should i eat a chocolate bar or have a chicken sandwich?

bonin’ melatonin

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not a crazy evening, went for a tan chez A‘s had some brews and watched the wrestler, so good.

stripper movies with onion dip do not mix, happily, cured that craving pretty much immediately as well i totally forgot to bring out the chocolate bars.

something‘s up at our regular loblaws and there’s loads of produce in the crisper i can’t be bothered to worry about. awesome guys. well we feel fine from that red thai curry from a couple nites ago so i’m not sweating over here, just a bit grossed out. i’m also bummed cos our last visit there forgot to grab some bottles of the light eggnog i’ve come to crave in my morning espresso, yeah yeah life is tough. now it’s back to boring skim.

working on my tan lines.

george doppleganger, dhani sigh.

woke up to antarctica.

time to feed the monkey brb.

oh carlton.

ohnoyoudih’nt

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ugh another old biddy down in the laundry room gave me some fresh ‘tude just now. once the microwave timer went off down i went to my washers and the same lady from 34 minutes ago says to me I LIKE TO GET HERE RIGHT WHEN THEY GO OFF. implying i had left my clothes rudely for houuurs without a fucking care in the world. so i just said YEAH. then pure silent treatment. in my head i’m like ok if i stuff her in a dryer i bet she’d fit she’s pretty tiny-like and why the fuck are you wearing a bonnet seriously bo-peep is in now i missed that memo. so i’m lugging my shit to the other side of the room over to the dryers, i used two washers today cos i had to do the onesies which is basically like washing an orangutan or whatever. so then biddy puts it together i’m pretty miffed at her scoldy schoolteacher passive aggressive reprimand (fuckin’ hate that eh? teachers indirectly pointing out your flaws with “I” statements) and switches her tone to the nice meter and asks me all in awe of how much clothing i am stuffing into the dryer like that and does it reeeally dry? shut up phony cunt i know what you’re doing. like how you get trapped in a public bathroom with a scary chick and a bunch of pointless verbal diarrhea compliments come out and you are like why did i just turn into a different person there oh right that surly chick gave me the heeby jeebies.

in summation, no one was waiting in line behind us for the washing machines, there was still an extra one, so do yourself a favour next time DON’T CORRECT ME COS I WILL PUT YOU IN YOUR OCTOGENARIAN PLACE AND YOU WILL POSSIBLY HAVE A CORONARY ON THE SPOT.

also, i whipped in and out of there at lightning speed while she was still getting her bedsheets into a dryer. so you like to get there on time cos a fucking snail can spin cycles around you?

i told her yeah all these clothes will dry cos i put ‘em in for 90 minutes then come down in an hour to take out things i don’t want to shrink.

don’t impart your laundry-wizardry then ask the dumbest question ever.

i should keep a chart of all this harassment then send out a newsletter and threaten an ageist lawsuit, why the fuck not these guys live for building drama and complaining, gets them going good.

in the time it took my clothes to wash i brought down three loads of recycling, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen and made myself look less like a slob and still STILL i beat her with fifteen minutes to spare to dick around on the internet.

look it’s me as a floating muppet now why would anyone want to be mean to that?

Elizabeth: I would lose it on those old ladies in the laundry room
Id make N move
or buy me a washer and drier

me: you love laundry posts

Elizabeth: yeah
I cant relate
since Im the one who does the laundry in my house

me: like what is the point of opening your mouth to a stranger
if you’re going to say something shitty
some fucking balls granny

Elizabeth: yeah
exactly
I like to do things this way = YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND I AM PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

me: and immediately busts herself with the guilty back-peddling
seriously it’s the only way i know it here it’s fucking laughable at this point

Elizabeth: yeah for sure

*update: i just went to collect my dried goods and a chick roughly my age was there also and was sensible enough to ignore me and i followed suit. why don’t the cronies get it?

ran away to tell the world

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haha notice cid. alicia‘s outfit was inspired by the shrunken head guy from beetlejuice.

there was a much better representation of shoulders to neck ratio but i blew that shot big time oh whatever here it is

nice one cid.

watched hamlet 2, now i want to rollerskate and fall down everywhere. solid film. loved when he screamed at the purring cat NOW WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?

the learning curve

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apparently there isn’t one in certain cases. remember our friend? well he’s back! so it’s pretty safe to say that he doesn’t read my blog. phewf. more material thanks guy!

flickr genius says: you judged me for offering to show u some nude photos, but your photo stream is filled with you naked

raymi says: i do not want to see your dick

i do not email people asking if they want to see my pictures

what i do is my business

you are lurking my stream, that is your business, as shady as it is, whatever, WHEN i posted nudes they were on the tasteful side

what is your point

flickr genius:

i have no problem with your posting.

mine are pretty tasteful too just wanted to share them

raymi: why are you writing back to me about this weeks and weeks later

flickr:

i just noticed your new photos and i remember you thinking it was weird that i asked if youd take a look at my pics, but u have many similar ones.

i just wanted to show you mine b/c i had seen some of your similar photos. fair trade.

raymi: ok let me see these pictures then once and for all

flickr: you dont mind if my penis is exposed in them?

raymi: well see there you go my genitals are not exposed in MY pictures
so therefore this isn’t the same
but yeah go ahead lets see it

flickr: there are multiple topless photos. are those not you?

raymi: tits are tits, and i dont do that frequently anymore and again, my business i dont email force them on people.

flickr: i dont force them either. that’s why i ask. the whole time ive had them private until now that you’ll agree to look. since you said no a few weeks ago, they were private so you couldnt have seen them even by accident.

raymi: ok let me see this artistic expression once and for all

flickr: posted. please let me know your thoughts on any aspect

*ok then he posts two pictures ONLY of his cock which i would’ve had to screen grab to get you the full size, there is absolutely nothing artistic or tasteful at all about them and what part of i don’t want to see your dick do you not understand. so right now he is sitting on ice awaiting my response which i haven’t given cos 1 i’m pissed and 2 i’ve been transcribing our correspondence for this post which is hard to do cos flickr messages do not flow properly and 3 i am getting a friend to upload the pictures for me elsewhere so the guy won’t see his dick in my stream. he has since written back this:

flickr: thoughts?

raymi: firstly, what part of “i do not want to see your dick” did you not understand? secondly, tell me, where is the taste and artistic aspect of these particular shots? thirdly, did i not tell you before that i am practically married and do not scour the web for photos of other men’s penises? my thoughts are irritation, what were you expecting from this exchange?

flickr: i asked you multiple times and u said you were ok looking
once. and once it was. i will never ask again. i appreciate
you looking and best of luck. ill never message you again.

raymi: all the best

is it worth posting his pictures so that my blog will be marked as porn and banned by even more companies? ok if you want to see just how artistic this guy is you may view his photos here and here. NSFLIFE.

mailhag raymi

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pantybypost arrived today, you’d think i’d glam it up a bit before taking photos no? yeah um actually who would think that? anyway, i dig this pair and requested no thong please, you’ll have to deal with the grease version reveal first, i’ll take some better snaps later.

sorry my greasy bangs are just too greasy for this internet world right now and i’m too much of a sloth to right them.

holy gladiator thighs haha. there’s a nice line/ripple up the bum that creates a vintage looking effect, A+. panty by post is a cute concept for lazy asses, perfect for shy guys to just go online and order something for your lady friend. fyi don’t ever choose size small you stupid moron.

whether he wanted to or not, cid felt it.

thanks for doing me a solid ladies!

remember this? it’s sad when undies die. sniff.

and thanks miss604 for the hook-up.

a bossy moment in time with Imyar

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Raymi Bosses Then Loses Focus from Phil Ogynist on Vimeo.

hahahaha out of context this is hilariously embarrassing. i think i was talking to louise who was complaining about the heat, instead of just opening the window myself (which i later did) i suggested someone open it then fil then i did my i am the most graceful person in the universe party trick. i’m fun. i always look a fool in fil’s vids or any video with fil, mine or his, cos i talk and he remains silent, forcing me to repeat myself, thanks darling.