i haven’t cried like i cried last nite in the longest time ever. i couldn’t breathe at points and my mascara ran all the way down to my chin. i can’t take this garbage anymore so i’ve decided i’m just not going to get angry about things anymore or hurt or be affected at all, in anyway. i put myself too out there. spineless the minx. yerrr.

this terribly pathetic dancer of a woman was doing this suppose to be sexy number for her friend and it was his bday and it was fun watching her try and try they were sitting right beside me and angelo like she was practically in my lap and her vagina on my forehead.

watching all women dance is great. i don’t get up and shake it with them anymore kuz no one i know likes dancing and im not really friends with the others so it would just be weird if i am like woooh lets go shake it and i do dance contests and other nonsense to this person who i don’t really know and probably doesn’t like me anyway so i end up sitting there paranoid my boyfriend is making out with someone across the room and i just mutter crap to myself, funny jokes and images of things that come to me and i dream about having a bunch of crumpled up bills in my pocket so i can sit there longer drinking and drinking and wish someone comes up and is all ya baby lets make it and i can say sorry i just came here to drink and be one hundred per cent serious.

and im too awkward and dirty old man styles to be near anyone of the same sex it’s like partying with your uncle peter.

i’m glad i saw seana yesterday she is looking good i wish i could have talked to her more. she is like nice sweater yer patented stripes.

i am a stripe.

i pee’d beside a dumpster in an alley and also by this guy’s benz and put my hand on his bumper to steady myself and not urinate into my purse.

tonite at midnite is anti‘s birthday. he will be 25. his body is all messed up mega-wise by which i mean in serious mysterious pain. what’s the deal with that? when i am in pain i think well i am obviously dying and it means i have chronic gayness disorder.

jamie rules for the nifty banner.

yah yell at me some more i love it.

hung with parkdalemassive and parkdalemiddleton today and also last nite and i finally saw how much of a scarey loser i was on the tapes. filmed more. went to magic pony on queen (785 queen st. w)and saw’re kristn and steve and they gave me the blythe doll because they are amazing and i also bought a bunch of other junk. white people selling jap crap back to the japs is funny and good. we ate at la hacienda and i was rude out loud and called noel an old man and this other guy made a angry face when i said that and raymi was bragging about her new temperament and craig has a growndup girlfriend now and we made a new friend who is on crazy anti-psychotics that i was also on a while back and he sat cross-legged and grabbed noel and craig just stood there laughing and i hid in the bathroom. kristin is all it’s weird and cool that you guys are hanging out again like old times. im going to move out soon. things are getting weird real fast and i am not digging it anymore.

wicka wicka wicka.

and i bought the greatest old man shoes adidas tobacco colour and also a shirt i didn’t really try on properly but it was only 22 bucks so pshhhh.

breath on me britney spears holyfak speaking of which:

when does the post office close? whatever it is friday. things are open later friday. and they should be. i have to ship some junk (literally) to bojangles for his 25th (ancient. dusty. dinosaur. cobwebby.) scurred day on monday june 7 (ak!). scurd-of-it-going-to-suck-day. john you rock ‘em ’til the cops bust in and hug you like a monster. definitely.

i think there is a purty tonite or somewhere going outsville we will see. i’m gonna meet mum.

knock knock

who’s there

interrupting cow.

inte-?

MOO!

this one is for my brother. man it’s bad.

go to their shows they are fantizzle. that’s lucasaids my hombre and old roommate. i want that futon back someday.

marquee is the new black.