im sorry ive been so mean

and moody

and peevish

and grumpy

and bitter

and cruel

and hateful

i just want you to know that underneath it all im very very very very angry

lazy cuss

i dont wait anymore

ive fallen in love with myself so now you can love me. you will fall in love because you will learn the truth

i at least feel that there is some use to be found in what ive come to think of as my so called life and i owe so much more than i could ever pay for how good that’s made me feel.

picturing the hanging man as the only card in the playing deck. not being quite able to claim an identity.

i want to turn into forever i want to be inside forever doubting flesh

yersterday

i saw your face

i felt your skin

beneath this place

we will appear

another day

forever now

i hold your face

come and stay

lets run away

lets leave this hell forever

deeply suspicious of anyone who’d be fool enough to get in touching distance of this poison girl i felt like such a messy, highly reactive creature that i didn’t want people to get near me.

cecelia

laura had her bebe wendy. finally. and wendy is so tiny. congratulations crotchhair and the pee tree.

so i didn’t vote and i feel dumb about it. i didn’t have my votecard and im not registered in this town to begin with so bollocks. would any of ‘em voted for me? sorry no.

ya’ll should rent dirty pretty things. tres jolie it is.

tres in the illest form

phil can u email me i lost your email it’s gone and you’re a lesbo

i’m gonna tan today i think or at least faketan.

no one even cares about my ithinkmanic blog i hate you guys

maybe ill see farenheit 9/11 again today it is tuesday afterall cheapday

maybe i will be a shootergirl when i get back from panama at that place what shows their vagina a lot

i knew her

use to follow everywhere we’d go

and it’s so sweet

now she’s sleeping with a boy i know

the boy i know

knows a pretty girl in every town

and the way they look

they were made to let each other down

and this is the cat at the head shop i forget the name of but shes vurry cute and she even talked to me im definitely touched since contact with animals is like thrilling and they don’t ever give you any guff should cat and assfucked dog go on a date?

this is the dog what gets fucked in the ass from a smaller doggy. i like to watch it. james is having a bbq and i made garlic butter rice and wrapped it up like a pilgrim would complete with butcher string and under tinfoil to make sure it is hot as the lake of fire

you are a lake of fire

im going to croon rufus wainwright all over the world

croon

true love is a trophy

and you said watch my head about it

baby you said

watch

my head about it

my head about it

no kidding

you can play me like a fiddle as long as i pull the strings

actually, pornography really just makes sex look unappealing

the brain doesn’t process negatives

when you pray, and you pray honestly, you send a beam of light out into the skies as clear and as powerful as a sunbeam that breaks through the clouds at the end of a rainy day; like the lights on the sidewalk outside the Academy Awards.

many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

pain is inevitable

suffering is optional

there is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness

what’s another word for thesaurus

i come from downtown born and ready for you

july 18 2000

breakfast consisted of sad bastard poached eggs – nasty. went to discotheque last nite w/ andres and his dreamteam – all dressed like the beastie boys – makin’ proper fools of ourselves cuttin’ a rug on the dancefloor to greasy jungle muzik.

“one nite in el paso the cops go into the crowd…”