depression update

i am allowing my rotten mood to psyche me out of everything and the accomplishing of it, it’s about the time of year where i think it would be a good idea to break up with fil and then get back together after christmas so i don’t have to feel so scared by the failure of a party that no one shows up to and it’s just me and fil sitting there alone and crying. nice try there susan, i will never break up with fil i just wish he didn’t have a birthday. i also think i am getting my period again way early i have three incredibly obvious zits, one being on the very end of my nose and another appeared on my face yesterday (it was not there when i left the apartment) during a late lunch with fil and pitt, i had a gob of salad dressing on my cheek and then i looked in my compact and said thanks fil for not pointing out the garbage on my face, i then wiped it off which revealed joe versus the volcano.

i was going to help my dad trim the tree tonite but i sucked out of that, we can’t even bring ourselves to put up our xmas lights so pathetic.

i should go have a tan i am losing pigment so fast and the burst of vitamin d hopefully will help.

seasonal depression on top of all the time depression is the best!