how jealous does this make you?

a saturday afternoon chat with cousin jamie.

me: hi

Jamie: hello. i am reading your blog

me: okhai

Jamie: “raymi is busy. You may be interrupting.

me: i have that to ward off nerds

Jamie: ha

me: it does not apply to you

Jamie: ohh
i kept seeing that

me: its funny people actually respect it too

Jamie: and figuring you were talking to a more exclusive clientele

me: its like talking to someone who has a puppet on their hand, you believe the puppet to be the one doing the talking
did i just say a meme?

Jamie: are you trying to tell me that i’m talking to a puppet??

me: no i am comparing the BUSY chat icon to someone
oh nevermind
my brain is too complex for you

Jamie: i know! i was just trying to push it to a more absurd level
it’s my specialty

me: it is

Jamie: someone says something funny, then i push it one step beyond funny
to not funny

me: yeah thanks for doing that
what are you going to do today napoleon

Jamie: going to deborahs jewelry shindig
she has to be there all day
i’m not going until later

me: you should show up wearing all of her pieces

Jamie: she already called me and said it was super boring and that the other designers are “poo-pooing her”

me: and unbutton your shirt like sting

Jamie: being snooty
yes!
i’ll have to see if she left anything behind for me to wear

me: its cos shes tall and hot and they all probably look like trolls

Jamie: a pair of bold earrings
she said that everyone is boring

me: bold is as gay as saying handsome
THESE DISHES ARE SO HANDSOME
thats an inside joke me and fil have about his dad referring to the dishes he gave fil as handsome
i said it when we visitted once, i said it about the new rangehood

Jamie: and the people who are there to shop and poke around are mostly crusty old upper-east-siders

me: fil almost busted up laughing
ew

Jamie: handsome
ha
that is pretty gay
“my, that’s a handsome tie you have on”

me: deborah should make herself look uglier i bet she’d get more business

fil told me she’s suing over this cos she hasn’t had anything done.

Jamie: you’re ugly, but your tie is handsome

me: oh dont be so bold
she should wear a dusty grey wig

Jamie: i started getting paranoid that other people googled her and found my blog and saw naked pictures of her and that i ruined her career

me: career ruiner
well then she could advertise to porn stars
she should email bust magazine and get them to do a piece on her

Jamie: do porn stars wear jewelry?

me: make it all punk independent woman angle
im going to email bust and plead my woman case to get more fame
pornstars wear necklaces and earrings
im blogging all of this

Jamie: pearls
oh no you’re not
it’s dull
you never post when i’m on

me: yes i am its funny!
well maybe you should think about that
ha

Jamie: i mean “on”

me: i know
you are talking to doctor on right now duh

Jamie: can you write prescriptions?

fil wants me to clarify that I drew the penis bush and that he wrote ‘lauren loves the’ even though it is inherently obvious and thus ruins the joke, fil doesn’t want you guys thinking he’s some penis bush egomaniac for some reason.