no make-up, no shower, sick as hell, partying.

awesome couple, she’s like 20 years younger, at least AND she’s flipping me off haha.

nice black beach socks, nice towel dress, go back to europe.

strange loner beach cruiser woman kept walking up and down the beach, had her little backpack and towel nearby.

oh man this is going to be funny, get ready to laugh guys.

i forgot to complain about how my entire life everyone has been saying my name wrong, it’s luh-ren but you have to say it fast like it’s no big deal and it’s a deep Luh sound so on top of waiting forever for my name to be called, they call me Loren – BARF, call me barf instead why don’t you! or Lorne michaels. and then the teacher makes this big grand showy effort to pronounce all the last names of my fellow portuguese and polish classmates, (polish last names are mental) and yet YOU CANNOT GO THE FUCKING DISTANCE TO GET MY NAME RIGHT!? the most whitest standard easiest 80’s name. if i was some ukranian chick you wouldn’t think twice about saying marta instead of martha, i have been discriminated against my entire life and yes i DEMAND reparations for it. like, now.

also, you can gauge if i like or give a shit about you based on whether or not i correct your mispronunciation. the nurse at my family doctor’s office calls me Loren, meh don’t care, she’s a cold bitch, not worth it, not like we are going to be pals.

hmm now that i’m thinking of it i feel like really sticking it to her but she would be like yeah so? then call me loren again.

i liked when supply teachers would fuck up my name then try and fight with me about the spelling of it like it should be spelled differently, yeah oh really? did you write a letter to the word “gnaw” as well? it was funny when my peers whom all of course loved/feared/were in awe of me, would correct the teacher/s on my behalf and get in wicked shit for it the hyper-spazz ones i’d be sitting at my desk looking down at my shit ignoring the teacher (passive aggression) and somone would snap IT’S LuuuhREN! then they would get a lecture on attitude and talking out of turn and i would give them the eyes like play on dude fight the battle you’re awesome!

sigh, elementary school, i’m gonna coast off your reputation ’til i’m 50.

+++

AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR A RAYMI DREAM!

another dream email featuring you

Hi there Lauren, or Raymi if you prefer, this is the commenter you know as
Helmüt.

Since other people always seem to email you about dreams they had, I thought I might too. Basically, I went to your blog as usual and turns out you had written 3 posts about my aunt and uncle and cousins whom you had somehow met, and you had pictures and everything, and you were making fun of them (not maliciously, deservedly). I wanted to leave you a comment saying Guess what, that’s actually my family, it’s a small world, etc. and tell you more about my cousin who likes expensive things, like his $2000 Gucci wallet (true story).

That’s it. PS: Now that you’ve posted several of these Raymi-dreams on the blog itself, how many nutjobs email you with stuff like this every week??

K

i get one everyday or every other day, somedays i get three dreams at once! and your cousin sounds like a limp tool, i would totally make fun of him and his wallet love raymi.