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can someone please explain to me this owl phenomenon? who started it, when, where, and why? why is the owl now the hipster girl mascot? did i miss something? is it cos of emo dorky nerdyness? um night vision? i don’t get it. i see bling necklaces and owl prints everywhere and i don’t know why. is it a joke? i mean i get the whimsical owl vibe a la wind in the willows secret molehipsterhill business but mostly it is like yawn don’t force your owls on me, sister.

hmm i just thought about it some more maybe it is because they are like cats but with chicken bird legs so then they are like the ultimate cat that could destroy your face and fly away? this is hard, deciphering hipster culture is HARD because inherently it does not make ANY FUCKING SENSE.

remember when platypus’ were in? why? they’re ugly dude. no they’re not some have tried to defend them to me, oh, they’re not? and how is that what the fuck is wrong with you you’re just jumping on the platypus bandwagon and you don’t even know the reason why. ok they’re not totally ugly but they’re not exactly cute and cuddly either.

look at that:

do you want to hug THAT!?

are you a duck or a beaver MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND PLATYPUS!

my cousin had one on her bed amongst other stuffed animals when we were little and i was all WHAT IS THIS? she goes A PLATYPUS. i go A PLATYPUS? WHY? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? she goes COS IT’S CUTE. uh huh. NO IT’S NOT. YES IT IS she says.

end of discussion.

i wish i could go back in time and have that conversation again.

who the hell decided the platypus was cute, marketed them like mad and people bought them all up? i want to meet this person. people are fucking stupid and this gives me hope, one day i will market some retarded animal, deem it fashionable and you will all have stuffed animals of something equal to a naked mole rat on your beds.

ew.

sometimes a real life platypus might be huggable but as a stuffed animal they are BORING DULL ZZZZZ to look at AND they are horizontal. horizontal is mega-dull, if you want to be interesting you canNOT be horizontal to the ground, those are the rules.

ps. NICE NAME. ass.

Sabrina: my mom has always been into owls because she is superstitious and i think that stupid hipsters collect shit like that–that means something to the baby boomers and they mock it

me: that is pretty obvious and i kinda figured it but my brain could not offer it up so simply
i think it’s a wanting to be mature thing too
what business does a 16 year old want with an owl?
they want to be associated with them

Sabrina: uh, fuck if i know

me: they want you to think they are smart and cool cos they are referencing a fucking owl
which actually makes them look stupid
i think
HI I APPRECIATE THE BORINGEST FOREST ANIMAL THEREFORE I AM COOL
i like hating on insignificant things

Sabrina: hahahaha

me: especially if it offends at least one person

Sabrina: hahahaha

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