i like it when someone is over at your place and they find a little nail or screw or something sharp on the floor or in the grass in your backyard and they are like
STOP THE WORLD BECAUSE _LOOK_WHAT_I_JUST_FOUND!!!
LUCKY FOR YOU ALL I WAS HERE TO FIND IT.
like thanks jackass for saving my entire family’s life wow what are the odds that you found that really small thing i mean it’s a wonder my little baby didn’t swallow it already my my i fucking owe you HUGE i mean HUUUUUGE!
and everyone does it, i sure as hell do it i’m like oh MY g o d sally LOOK I FOUND A RAZER BLADE can you BELIEVE it? well here you go put that in a nice safe place away from me i cannot believe it and i almost stepped on it boy wouldn’t YOUR face be red had i stepped on that randomly placed razer blade wow.
and so on.
next time this happens i am going to make a huge fuss over the person who found the tiny sharp thing and clap them on the back for a solid ten minutes and gush over how heroic they are until they are shamed into leaving or blowing up at me.
