Jackie is a punk Judy is a runt

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went to see black swan last nite (amazing) with stew. first we went to jack astors at YDS to make fun of people who go to jack astors. also it’s near the theatre. next time it’s milestones. i really really love suburban lameness because it makes me feel like a big fish but also it’s kind of comforting to blend in and have all your first world needs catered to, overpriced crappy food? bring it on. waitress brought me three hot sauces. they blew my brains out. i have a hot sauce problem.

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my mom totally ruined the plot for me and then i ruined it for you on twitter. sorry. thanks mom. it was her own interpretation of the movie anyway and they don’t exactly address it in the end but you cannot avoid thinking about it or viewing it in this vein once the seed is planted in your head. i angry texted my mom halfway through YOU RUINED THIS MOVIE FOR ME THANK YOU.

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we saw that building that was burned down a we were burning a doob with cops all over the place it was like a crime scene abandoned disneyland with the christmas lights everywhere. i must go back and take some pics of the lights in yds. i love that shit. i am what i make fun of. total tourist geek.

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loving the docs. everyone tells me their docs story when they notice them. apparently we all invented docs COOL GUYS THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW. can you also tell me where you were when nine eleven happened too? follow that up with where your mom was when neil armstrong landed on the moon.

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we smuggled in vodka. obviously.

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then went to the beac to drop in on stew’s friend’s bday get together.

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i was in a pretty good mood. stew was explaining blogging to these guys and why we were all away in montreal together and then i took a picture of my feet and he’s like SEE this is what raymi does. yeah don’t worry it all makes sense on the internet i swear. i can feel your smirking when i do this and i so totally don’t care.

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i found a hat earlier in the day. britt was like no it’s bad karma don’t take it. you know how many hats i have lost? my favourite hats? it’s just a black knit hat. you know what’s bad karma? the flu or a head cold. this shit is mine now.

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i weighed myself this morning at the motion room and i’ve gained weight yet um look at me, twig city. thanks muscles i want to die now. james was like do NOT weigh yourself.

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there is nothing awkward about this photo.

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this is how it isn’t done.

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ok maybe it is.

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i really liked how long my arm was in this one and showed it to a few people and they were like yes it is long go away. i was in a good mood and that good mood involved being a shithead you would have been proud. you know when you know you’re being irritating and you can’t stop yourself nor do you care what anybody is thinking about you? so rarely get to experience indifference cos i’m so intense all the time wow i can’t believe i am bragging about being happy over a feeling i had.

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howling hour.

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kind of charles dickensy vibe. scrooge. my next date i will request the venue to have the atmosphere, look and feel of a christmas carol. i mean, duh.

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scoping the last callers. me and stew should have a predator reality dating show. we are never going to get boyfriends if we keep hanging out together cos obviously we look like we’re on a date at jack astors.

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a “date” met me here for a drink once. a famous guy. i was not pretty enough in real life for anything to happen but his arrival in meeting me was epic because the ex boyfriend of a girl who pretty much hates me watched it all go down and he was on his blackberry the entire time and i felt like it was possible he was typing OMG it’s raymi alone at the bar and we kept avoiding staring at one another and we’ve never been officially introduced but we both so know who the other is, anyway it was awkward and i felt way too on display and platinum and self conscious and was wearing my stevie nicks black gauzy dress shirt thing with no pants and i’m thinking alright fine if he’s going to have this mega-staring problem at me then wait til he gets a fucking load of who is on their merry way to meet me right now i get the text that he’s one minute away and i swivel like a panther in my stool legs crossed hair like scarface michelle pfieffer arms back on the bar leaning like james dean (lean like james dean nice you must credit me that one) and in through the door of the beac walks my famous date right into my arms we embrace i kiss him on the cheek and then fluidly look over my left shoulder back at staring problems and his agape mouth total in shock statue. it was perfect.

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that perfect timing moment is up there with another shitty date at reposado i was in the dark place talking about how depressed i was trying to deflect this guy off me like crazy and he’s falling hard, it’s backfiring large and in walks ron sexsmith i say hey do you like ron sexsmith? he goes i LOVE ron sexsmith and without skipping a beat i go hi ron and he goes hi raymi he was right behind him. the guy DIED. ron sat beside me and the guy was just, i looked super fucking cool is the point. then he got mad at me for blogging about it. i’m sorry but that moment in time belongs to me i am not keeping it a secret no way.

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how weird does this longer jacket look beneath my shorter leather? oh that’s right, i don’t fucking care.

stew came over for a bit to do crazy loud workouts (sorry melucas) and then he left at 5am to eat a big mac. i was almost seduced. i told my trainer and he was like wow. but then, big macs ARE delicious. now i can’t stop thinking about big macs. GREAT.

ps. i’m stronger now and really good at push ups.

wordsmith out.

oh yeah see this red chair?

we want it out of adventurehouse come take it today someone please thanks.