i beg your pardon i never promised you a rose garden

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there’s something funny to me about filling up a modern leather waste bin with glass beer bottles. the bathroom one too. it’s just so obnoxious and debaucherous. i picture a hobo pilfering the contents of these swanky garbages and trotting off to the booze store to cash in the bottle deposit thinking what fucking fat cat assholes we are.

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a billion o’clock in the morning post NYE, third room service order? the guy hated us and totally didn’t believe lucas anymore for calling again about the water beer bottle he’s like you know you can just order more beers you don’t have to tell stories. it was like 5am and one couldn’t even pick a fight with a spoon by that hour so he just let the guy think we were liars. i accidentally pounded some of the water beer, it was gross, despite everything tasting like water at that point i know for fact that was not beer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325382306/in/photostream/

this was the most flattering photo of my foot. i have hair stubble on my toes from shaving those guys (who doesn’t other than lumberjacks?) so i KNEW you’d rip me for it so you only get a far away shot. time for a pedicure much? my baby toe always looks horny (hahaha)(slut) that’s from dance. mel was like is this one broken too? nope, it just looks that way because i am a troll.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324773297/in/photostream/

bottomless mimosas and a very nice waitress totally grasping our combined stupidities. i could barely eat but i forced food down regardless. somehow i lost weight this weekend. i guess that thing about eating more working in your favour for weight loss is true. it seemed like we were constantly eating. shop eat hair eat drink drink party eat sleep eat eat and so on.

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melodiva in my tracey shirt and me setting up some ridiculously contrived dance move, a rockette high kick? sure why not.

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i had to show these little boys who was in charge. wimpy long legs, that’s who.

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THIS PICTURE WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU COULD SEE IT!

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get used to this cos i have content featuring it for the next fucking week.

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rosemary frites. enough said.

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superhero raymi. my powers include: narcolepsy, candle making, tantric crying, impulsive sidewalk kissing and talking to inanimate objects. feel safe now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325376300/in/photostream/

i have a ton of bopping melodie in the face shots but i’m laughing too hard which means fat face so i don’t know if i’m gonna share those yet. we have been laughing our asses over them though.

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my mouth is big enough to blow this phone so maybe i should to show my gratitude.

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it’s nonna raymi come in come in i made you sandwich it’s been so long!

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stuffing meats in my mouth like the greedy little goose i am. took my time coming downstairs and everything was picked over so i scavenged.

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the french contest winners. i put them in their place right away. they liked it. that guy got so tanked. not everyone can pace themselves like me. i, am a professional for hire. i can drink you under the table (not for long though) and when you’re crying for no more i’ll be floating on a red satin pillow, doing whimsical things that i can’t think of right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324764265/in/photostream/

i love hotel lounges. you can be anonymous and pretend like you actually are money or important. wait what am i saying i am both of those things. but still, people will be snooty to you, it’s just the way it is. you have to own shit and out-snoot or be snooted.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325371054/in/photostream/

can i have this please?

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i bought another diamond necklace today, that one is getting a bit coppery on the chain. had a good run though. i go through necklaces like mental.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324761453/in/photostream/

there can never be too much ass. practice for pantsless subway ride.

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holy crap shiny nose forever. i’m boo-hooing over how cute and single i am.

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melodie’s backpack makes it look like i’m sitting on a wheelchair at first glance. did i blog this one already? i get confused if i pre-facebook profile pic a photo. some goodies get lost and never make it here.

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this would be more believable if it didn’t look like i was rolling my eyes hahaha. oh casie. squeeze.

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my return home bohemian sloth-out. very much needed.

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this was kind of not funny at all. requires too much looking cos they don’t speak. then you look away and miss something and are lost and just irritated.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324647023/in/photostream/

i can’t believe on pof how many people ask me what longboarding is. ok dude you just got yourself a no response.

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the many mysteries of raymi’s secret life.

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nice vampire eyes. mid blink and eyes were stingy from fresh makeup application.

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toe nurse. she taped them. melodie did a treatment to take the swelling and bruising away. good to go now so glad not broken. fuck that would bum me out a lot.

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2011 better be heaven.

smell ya later.

seeing a movie with stew so pumped. avoiding my messy room.