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weekend in review.

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do you feel like life is passing you by?

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do you get stressed out about the feeling of time speeding up? events before they happen. the mental image of christmas, a huge block of time, a good two months once halloween is over, it is a hurdle, well, i can’t do anything until that’s all over with and by the way i’m single so it’s going to be a depressing block of time. i know it won’t be, doesn’t have to be, but the old fashioned and traditional part of me (which is a huge part actually) is kinda going bah-humbug just a little.

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i’ll take a boyfriend anyone will do for the next two months. this i am not going to do. if it happens it happens. you can take anyone to christmas you know, and then you can dispense of them if need be. i am not willing to compromise all that i have built for myself to date, this single little world, for someone who gets on my nerves and nitpicks at my life. i need my privacy and space. if they’re worth it then i will devote myself to them and they will become my life but until them i am not settling.

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piece of fish dating is making me crazy. i am tired of saying the same stupid stories about what i do, being proud and then defensive and then see you later dude.

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i know a guy who is single and gay in the burbs and every christmas he goes away to a resort alone to cruise dudes. i think a lot of gay people, couples, single, christmas might not be ideal. shunned by families, or shunning them. there is an added stress in showing them too, i can make a better family than you and be gay, take that nuclear failure of a family.

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i appreciate my friends so much. i take them way less for granted than i did before when i was practically married. one by one i spend more time with each person and they take me aside and i can tell what they’re going to say to me before they say it and i cut them off at the pass and say yes, i know, i’m a whole new person now, don’t you like this one better? they do.

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a girlfriend of mine said she was so crazy depressed emphasis on the crazy when single that her friends had to physically come and get her and bring her to their place that’s how overwhelming solitude can get for a woman. it is ingrained to be a gatherer and if we have no one to gather for we start to come undone. why do you think the majority of spinsters have all this weird art and creations and zany overall?

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i have this loose ambition of what my future should be like meanwhile living an opposing lifestyle to it. i have to keep myself open because you never know where shit may lead which i feel makes men a bit wary to get involved.

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gahahahahaa rock of love.

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brad wouldn’t let me have that hat.

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i look like a roadie groupie keyboard player. the band man it’s all about the band, the band is so totally gonna get back together. totally.

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i’m going to start wearing baseball hats unironically to make everyone uncomfortable in places like the keg, just totally unfashionable and then once it takes, NO HAT.

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it’s been too long gibson. as if this wasn’t like going back in time. when you divorce one of you has to go away for a little while which is fine.

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my outfit i dub thee: BABYSITTER SNUCK OUT WHEN THE KIDS WENT TO BED.

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who’d have thought i would ever be more blond than britt.

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total babysitter. i brought board games and doritos and the dad will drive me home at 1am with ballantine’s on his breath. ew.

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dear hair: what in the %$@$@# do you think you’re doing?

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this crush fuck comes over and says YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL then proceeds to dance all over me.

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he was intense. i was posing for photos by haitham at the time which is why i had the hammed up hypnotic factor but did he really have to purposely plant himself like that in front of me? haha brad and britt you goobers.

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he would not leave, which i’m fine with, life is all about weird moments and digital cameras. that’s britt’s hand looks like mine eh.

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babysitter’s loosening up now watch out and that guy is def on something, we were dancing to techno or house. this is at the end when the party is over. i saw the guy from central who organizes hip hop nite (joseph?), the guy who got the guy who almost decked me out did i ever tell that whole story? he had no clue who i was because my hair was always up at the central (sweat factory) as i was saying bye to him outside of gibson he was like uhhh okkkkk pretending to know who i was as i was saying tons of personal details so he knows he should know who i am. poor guy, deer caught in my platinum head lights. ps. i was not fired from the central you lying troll. why would i party with my ex-boss (clem) so much if i was fired? only a total loser would do that, heard of pride?

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LOVE this photo. brad looks like john connor.

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BAHAHHAHAHHAHHA.

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oh haitham. makin’ me look good forever.

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this dance move is called hung like this. that’s the punchline, guess the question.

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portrait portrait that’s what i am saying. nicely. obvs.

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i need to get a belt for those pants i should’ve bought them smaller i will try to get them in a size smaller next suburban journey out. dancing is hard when your ass is hanging out.

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my headband, shoes and shirt totally match.

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when this face comes at you it means you are in for a squeeze. don’t you want to hug the crap out of me? look at that. HEY DUDES THIS IS FUN RIGHT? wiener.

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i died when cam came at us with his omg hurry i want to smoke i thought we were smoking face, funnier than this and the smoke fell out of his mouth and stuck to his lip. then i wanted to copy the moment for myself because i am the dane cook of jokes.

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it kept falling.

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smoking gross. gross gross. guys who smoke smell and taste so bad when you make out. if i am going to the trouble of fraudulently making myself look like an innocent little princess for you to slobber all over then you should show me the courtesy of carrying gum always. another funny thing i whip out when they start groping my hair all over is saying my hair is expensive, don’t touch it that either kills the mood or makes it better and i don’t care either way, shit IS expensive, high maintenance, yeah i have it sponsored but still it’s not there for your dirty hands to grease up. you must earn the right. shannon said that our platinum hair is like shingles on a roof, it takes everything it touches, is just waiting to soak it in. so much controversy surrounds platinum hair i feel and have experienced over the last year, less than, being platinum. people love to hate the blond girl and for some reason feel obligated and more entitled to telling the blond girl a piece of their fucking mind. people go out of their way to tell me i looked better brunette but i look good platinum. you know what? i look AMAZING platinum and i never fucking asked you what you think so thank you. rude asshole. blonds just make you uncomfortable. they actually have more fun too. i’ve been every colour so i’m allowed to report on this FACT. things just change when you go blond. you’ve never done it therefore you never know so you cannot say to me that it isn’t true, you don’t know until you make the move and if you were blond at a time and you didn’t have fun well then your blond must have been too brassy then. meow.

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sorry for being defensive all the time i know it’s an unlikeable trait and feature i just can’t help it. i am a smug cynical bastard with a billion theories littered with holes. it’s my job to keep my chin up through all the mean that comes my way, whether deserved of it or not (ultimately, no one deserves cruelty, that law should be universal) it triggers me and i let fly my opinions just like everybody else.

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i had to copy everything cam did.

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i love the bovine’s labyrinth garbage dump tim burton vibe and i especially like going there dressed the opposite of everyone else and confusing people, then showing them what punk is really all about.

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FTW!

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nice face don’t be jealous now.

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babysitter guilt oh whatever the older one can care for the younger one.

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w. cockblocked the hell out of me just as the line of bros at the bar were starting to familiarize themselves with planet platinum polly anna w turned up.

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bringing sand to a beach, that’s what one of my dude friends said about bringing a girl to my party as it was hot girl stacked. live and learn buddy.

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amazing.

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wanted to get my leaned out post-menses torso. i lost five pounds.

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shanghai snack. prior to bovine in the cab i asked wendi what she wanted, food or party, cos we were going to do both but could only do so in a articular order as it was nearing last call. she was more blotto than i was but was up for party more than eating and that’s all i needed to hear.

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w and i drew her portrait by napkin.

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haha movemember stache you look like such a sleazebag.

i have to really pee now weekend in review to be continued dear guests.

happy monday.