so we moved. the morning of moving day i called the police on the sketchbag down the hall because i didn’t want that shit on my conscience, he was yelling at his girlfriend and wouldn’t let her leave, i’ve been through that situation myself TWICE before so i couldn’t just not do something about it. three cops show up, three. then both parties filed complaints against one another and the cops told me whatever, this is a daily thing for them, she can leave the relationship but doesn’t want to bla bla blah. fine.

when in rome, be white trash i suppose.

there is no interent in our condo so i am in an internet cafe right now. my eyes can’t stay open cos of all the dust i have been in contact with and now all of a sudden i am anal about where things should be put and i am…BEING TIDY!

i know, it’s scary. who knows how long it will last.

so far my favorite new pasttime is watching kids in the park beat each other up from our balcony and then at nite watching people let their dogs shit in the snow.

speaking of feces, two nites ago at the pub i farted and i crapped my pants and i threw my underwear out in the loo and ran home and changed pants. i dunno what the fuck that was about, my metabolism and diet must be totally insane. it was pure liquid. i was talking to fil’s stepdad and i farted once then again and i knew immediately what had happened but i didn’t want to be rude and cut off the story so i stood there screaming in my head for the love of fuck until finally i bailed and when i came back i said i had a period emergency.

when i was in the bathroom aimee called and i was like FUCCCK FUUUUUUUCK FUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!!! and told her everything and she died laughing. i went back out into the pub and asked fil for the keys and he made me tell him why and i was like JUST GIVE THEM TO ME! and he is like not until you tell me why and i was like;

FINE!!! I FARTED AND THEN I SHIT MY PANTS! HAPPY!?

am i going to have friends after this post?