i’m hoping today isn’t going to be another all about fil day – he’s just left to have winter tires put on his new girlfriend. we might go up to the cottage. it’s ridiculously warm today. i’m trying to think of anything obnoxious that i did last nite. ?? well there was suppose to be guacamole on my nachos and it wasn’t ’til i got through them that i told dave (who is also as retardedly wasted as i am) about the guacamole and he’s like well obviously you should send them back and i was like I KNOW I AM NEVER COMING BACK HERE EVER and he was all BLESS YOUR HEART.

ok it was funny at the time because i am at this bar at least 5 times a week.

then i got all these babes hooked on porno hunt and they were all no don’t leave us we neeed your help and i’m all hey ladies i gotta smoke but before i leave…

bleep bloop blop beep.

and they’re all WOW you are INCREDIBLE.

then i felt smart about myself for ten seconds.

fuck i can’t wait to move so i can write about playing megatouch in other bars.

but wait, earlier i ran all the way to the liquor store to try and make it before 6 and it felt like my ankle was going to explode cos i guess i haven’t had to run for a very long time and so i get there and see that they don’t close ’til 8 so i exploded through the doors out of breath and sweaty and went YAH CHRISTMAS HOURS, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT! WORD!

and there were three tiny old ladies in cardigans looking at wine and a bunch of other respectable looking people milling about and i felt like flava flav and how everyone thinks he’s too embarassing to live and in his mind he thinks that they are thinking that he is really fucking cool but i was flava flav the moment the epiphany struck for him and he finally realised how much of a joke he is.

FLAVA FLAV!

who’s watching strange love right now?