lazy days mean you needed one

the tree is coming down right now. i took off all the ornaments then began to feel quite weak and faintish. i tried to give’r last nite and my version of givering these days is like half a tall can of coors light mixed with gingerale and an inch of leftover (from NYE) hurtbag unopened champagne also mixed with gingerale and blammo, gunned. oh yeah dash on top of that some back in the saddle weed. this bug tricks you up, you think you’re ready but you so are not. a splitting night time headache follows it too, lasts two days!

remember these stupid things? standards back then were pretty low.

GAH! ghost moccasins are after me! those bell socks are funny you can hear me all over the place but i have become immune to their jingle jangling so i think i’m sneaking up on someone meanwhile i sound like a stampede of pots and pans coming at you. i find i’m a stomper now, i used to tread so lightly in the condo, respectful of naybes and whatnot and now it’s all four walls floor-to-ceiling un-surrounded so i try and walk as loudly as possible. i feel like a cow. while walking i think wow i sound so obese right now. ps. notice how you get the most retarded socks at christmas time (i mean i love them don’t fret) but like yeah is there not a not-retarded sock store available around the holidays? thanks i can wear these for today only and then you get another pair and another and another all stacked up ok nevermind i am obviously out of material when i start going into depth about socks.

red popsicles exist. ha these little fuckers made me fortunes. SUCKERS! kidding kidding love you thank you. though i fear the time of ironic outsider crappy art is dead. thanks economy tankin’ now i have to like, try.

coug party pants. oh yeah, mad cougs in burlington. watch out. yes i know i look like disgusting old party face, still regaining colour. what’s my excuse for all the other times though haha. yeah i’m cool i self-deprecate it’s fine you can like me.

the dogs’ christmas present to us. all the tampons were eaten. YUM sage you fucking lesbian. sigh sorry for swearing i just mean, it’s really irritating having to bring your feminine businesses wrapped-up to an alternate garbage bin under the sink lest you come home and find it tracked all over the upstairs hallway. not embarrassing or disgusting at all.

look i got my white picket fence hee-haw! actually it’s the neighbour’s.

the insane stops never.

first solid i was able to ingest.