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Monkey Business

Hiya internet. Hope you like monkeys and sensible zoo outfits plus my party hat nip-ons (the shade is brrrrr) cos yesterday we went to a zoo that was actually a “park” dedicated to every single monkey species you can think of and the little ones, HUNDREDS of them, walk all over you. Great idea for a hangover right?

Let me get rid of these first. The day before we had drinks and dinner with bf’s friend in the city, fun times. I wore my new wedges and I didn’t fall once I just walked really slow.

This annoying couple turned up our last day in Aruba at the pool so no more hot tub blasting for us though bf did a cannon ball to announce our presence. The old guy sat on his laptop for a couple hours under the umbrella, cool vacation bro! I smiled at the lady when we passed each other doing pool laps but she was not feeling us until an hour later when she realized her husband was gonna be hardcore ignoring her for hours.

Aruba is a magical place.

See! We went through all the pics on my phone and videos the other night we haven’t even looked at and were catapulted right back into our honeymooning blissdom. Pictures are addictive, a healthy addiction IMO but totally can be overdone if you’re OCD snapping at everything and missing out on the IRL experience.

Me and my jumpsuit I was wearing the night we met. It’s from H&M.

Irish writer dudes in Amsterdam. We had Irish coffees here then split town.

Totally wanna see #hangoverIII here. #Tuschinski #cinema #amsterdam made in 1921 so old, rats will run over your feet during a #film.

On with de show now. These are all taken with his other camera, the camera I used has all the videos and close-ups on it. Just too much but lots of goodies. It’s hard to narrow it down from 1000 photos. I don’t have the attention span nor patience to discern which picture of a monkey is better than the others, aside from facial expressions and funny things they’re doing but if you get one posing nicely on a flower tree you tend to take 40 pictures of that moment and then when you sit down to go through them it’s like wtf is wrong with me?

Quickly realized I wore the wrong bra, I had to use bf as a shield a lot. Had a few Grandpa groupies at various junctures, women eyeing me up and down pissed off too oh whatever if I could go back in time and wear something with more padding I would have.

Love the design here.

We got in for the price of one cos an old guy came up to us before the entrance with internet print-out tickets, his wife can’t walk anymore. Being avid watchers of scam city I was a little worried but the man had an honest face and the tickets were legit wuhoo savings!!!!!!

If you want to borrow these zipper bags for the day you can, some monkeys are a little grabby. If they were gypsy monkeys we would be ripped off for sure.

I feel bad for turkeys, they’re so fugly with that shit hanging off their beaks like God made a mistake and put ball sack on their nose instead whoops too late.

Wearing flips flops on long walks is a risk. By the end of the afternoon I was beat.

At this point it dawned on me that if I was going to speak baby talk to the animals they’re not going to understand English cos they’re all Dutch animals ah duhhhhhhhh. Saying hello in a cooing voice works internationally also having animal aura which I possess, most morons do. It’s like a come to me competitive wizardry.

Don’t interrupt while I’m minxing yo.

It is overwhelming in the cutest way to enter this area, they’re just everywhere playing about and interacting with people it’s the best therapy ever.

Having “monkey” as my nickname at a place literally crawling with monkeys was funny too, good thing no one speaks English. The zoo staff did though and found our running commentary quite hilarious and how nervous and skittish I was around the monkeys. They bite and when you’re spooked easy your overactive imagination gets the better of you. Have you seen the movie Outbreak?

Branches obscuring me, hot look.

Baby monkey brain asplosion awwwwwww.

Their little faces blew me through a wall aghhhhhh. They climbed all over my bf it was adorablah, bit his camera and hands god it was so amazing.

They’re so human looking, the ape I captured on film later on was spectacularly human I could watch all day.

Curious little guy.

I didn’t have the balls to hold one, I didn’t want to be bitten.

We went back at the end of the day to steal one but were too late lol.

I’m making the weirdest noises while going through these right meow.

You are my favourite littlest people ever.



Hahaha. This is the guy that climbed on top of the camera.

Once you get one little guy all his brothers show up for a monkey pile.

Photobomb. They loved the clicking sound of the shots.

See how tiny they are, no one would notice if one went missing although your house would definitely get trashed. The Ikea monkey was sitting on his throne elsewhere btw.

Duuuude I relate. Check ya later.

He’s checking me out. These guys were way more intense and goofy with sharper looking fingers and teeth so there was no damn way I was touching one. They were hilarious to watch, clumsy and dopey.

What are they do you know? Everything was written in Dutch and like I’m going to remember that. Update: They are ring-tailed lemurs!

Isn’t it fantastic how there’s no cages and they’re allowed to roam freely and they trust the zoo guests?

Like if I wanted to pat him I could have. I’m not that stupid though.

Pardon me what?

I have a video of some humping around in here.

Watching them walk around like people and get fed is fascinating.

See! Raw endives though, ughhhh.

It was a fun jungle day, fungle jungle.

The desks in there were very old school, LITERALLY.

I have a friend like you in Toronto.

Oh hi. I go to that party every year. Hey Luc.

My hair doesn’t look so bad for not washing it, I did the day before obviously and that was a good hair day and it carried over to the next day that is all.


I like the wizard one.

These guys were going mental.

They had a food puzzle and were all going ape shit.

Love their funny screamy faces ahahhaa.

They act paranoid like humans too, suspicious.

Where’s the food seriously give it to me.

Meanwhile this moron’s like go ahead look, I’m clean.

Keep searching fool.

I am so out of here.

God I am sooooo hung what happened last night.

I lost my keys. Did you see my keys? Where are my keys.

It’s a really great place I’m glad we went. Maybe a few twist and turns too long but other than that very awesome. My ankle was throbbing by the end.

Other than monkeys there’s some weirdo tropical birds. I want one.

That chick really likes animals.


Turtle us.

I love that face.

My hair is looking longer and longer yay. Can’t wait to dye it again.

Ooh yay. They were playing island tunes here.

I didn’t wear any makeup yesterday. The older you get the less you’re supposed to wear. Not bad for thirty hey? Fuck I still can’t believe it.

Which one would you sit on? Part of me would choose the fugliest looking one and the other part of me would choose a butterfly haha. I probs woulda barfed if I went on it though it was not a merry-go-round kinda day.

That means so long, bye bye, sayonara etc.

We snuck into the holding monkeys area for a bit then got escorted out ahaha. Honey did you see the sign? No, I took a short cut (truth) but even if I did I can’t read Dutch anyway so..

Tourist trap store.

Junk. Kinda wanted one but, nah.

I didn’t get a tan line from my wrist hair elastic nor did I use it once. Double sigh.

This camera is awesome.

So much further to walk yet.

Great now we’re going to get attacked by Canadian geese perfs way to end the day.

Nope this is the perfect way.

Cava and a great view of Deventer. There’s prostitutes over the water by the road when you drive over the bridge I was too much of a pussy to take pics again. It’s mind blowing to see them in their little closets, bored on their phones in heels ranging from fug to fugger. Count your blessings world and there but for the grace of God, go I.

Monastery cheese and smoked almonds, had me thinking of Cheese Boutique a lot. It was so good and we were so shocked at how much they gave us.

Croquettes are a major thing here. They’re so good but so bad.

Holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhck. I have zero sweet tooth these days thankfully.

Whimsical <3.

Is Belle home? I’ll settle for the Beast.

I love your mirror hippie accoutrement.

So many weirdos here it’s awesome.

Nice one Abe.

Okay that’s all for today, enjoy your Saturday.

14 thoughts on “Monkey Business

  1. omg thank you! I thought they might be lemurs but then I thought I was probably wrong and they’re bigger perhaps. Also they remind me of the Labyrinth.

  2. ojaamoomoo


    awwwwwww smoooshie

    oogaabooboonu nu

    …words that were running thru my head looking at the monkey pics.

    The one in the flowery tree is just gorgeous! It’s teeny tiny fingers…ahh!! :D

  3. Whoa what adorable monkeys! Tiny little fingers! Lemurs! What are those other guys with the white beards? what an amazing place!

  4. Wow, the monkeys were just roaming randomly outside of cages at this Holland zoo?? That´s crazy I wouldn´t expect that

  5. Yep, it was amazing! Ahahha Lexi ahahhahahahfwahahhaa yes exactly all rational thought words speaking go out the window when in contact with little monkeys.

  6. To quote Dennis Hopper from Apocalypse Now: “There’s mines over there, there’s mines over there, and watch out those goddamn monkeys bite, I’ll tell ya.”

  7. He called the zoo to inquire if it was alright that eh was bitten which he was and they’ve all got their monkey shots.

  8. Animal aura which I possess: “most morons do” LOL!
    I have one too. So glad to know why.

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