Everyone loves Yeta

More necklaces. Guess what she sang.

See how sad I was before Yeta? OMG remind me about the chick I met last night who “lives off the grid” lol.

Accidentally brought the bigger glasses out last night these were the first fakie hipster frames I bought. Whoops. SO HUGE.

What’s wrong Rocky? Sexiest V Day outfit much right? Meh.

Okay I gotta go pack now, watch the rest of Celeb Big Bro UK, shower, vacuum my laptop lol. See you soon NYC!

Love these guys!!!

read by everyone loved by no one

Who the funk did this?!

Chocolate chips all over the BV stairwell. We just came from a cookie party so it made us feel insane, confused, guilty like what? So weird there’s a connection maybe? Hobos. Funkin’ Queen Street that’s what.

I lipped off a copper last night too yeah that’s right BOOYAKASHA He was rude to me and a woman so I go NICE ATTITUDE in the meanest most sarcastic loudest voice ever because HE goes Oh really? really!? really barking it at us for stepping through the yellow tape and I said at first even-keeled meekly that I thought it was okay for pedestrians (I will NEVER admit fault of defeat) but then another cop says take the graffiti alley and I stopped myself from saying OH Okay I’ll go get raped in this back alley now. See how tones of voices can really set you off? I felt like I was fighting a fight for everyone or as Speidi said about Celebrity Big Brother UK that he feels like it’s the world Cup (for America) ahha. It had also occurred to me that I looked like something out of the Nutcracker what with my hoop and outfit, smooth one. Anyway I got away with being mouthy and beat it out of there to Union. I was diverted from the car that hit a cyclist on Queen last night I have pics of it and everything but I have to go do some other crap right meow first. Have a nice V Day. Singles Awareness Day: SAD. XO Big Chief.

Rayme Jam

Thanks sender-inner Taylor! I love this a lot.

Standing in a massive puddle. Living large. Happy Galentine’s Day! Sorry for being a shitty blogger. Except I’m not all that sorry. I dont know what I’m afraid of. It’s hard to get back in to the bloggy groove plus I have other things (classic liexcuse) on my plate so “whatever”. I guess I’ll fill you in to be nice though cos thats what it is that I do. I’ve been thinking about getting in to stand-up comedy again. For a second time. Ha. I feel like I need to take it to RL. Real life. The other big RL other than Raymi Lauren. I feel like my humour translates way better there and that I should just fucking do it maan yeah thats what I thought on Shannon’s couch when I couldn’t sleep at 4 in the morning, after Gypsy Sisters (more on them later). Not even hung today surprisingly either. I have more energy lately maybe those diet pills are helping or maybe not sitting on my ass in front of tv/laptop. Anywho, FUCK the internet basically it’s been.

Then, in the kitchen I said before bed, what if my comedy schtick was being super disgusting funny, like a pig, how dude’s talk. Then I’ll go (this is all my stand-up notes by the way) into elaborate detail about how a looong hair was caught in my pussy and how it was like almost a pink raisin strangling paper hair cut slice incident extracting it (this shit happens after showers, trust) except the hair always breaks, it always breaks before a piece gets turkey bound too tight cos it’s not a very strong hair to begin with as it already snapped out of someone’s (probably mine) disgusting head AND you can always tell when it’s a head hair stuck down there because it’s foreign feeling, other. Now, Think about how crazy the (HBO) show Girls is written (and real) and how wildly accepted. Long story short, BRO, I am writing fucking insane from here on out okay so deal with it.

What else did I think about while I laid on my friend’s couch other than how stressed out I am about everything, writing deadline, going to nyc friday afternoon, have to take a selfie of self, (am fat hate self :( ugh) and also how much of a loser I feel like for sleeping on my very good friend’s couch except when it’s your girl’s couch it’s not a dude’s bed, so. So relatable right meow right.

ANd my hair is awful. But it will be amazing. I will have tumblr girl hair soon and it will be au natural. I am coming back from being platinum, no easy feat. Well look what happens. But my roots are out of control what colour is that? Sadness?

Hahah. Okay this is a grower post I’m hanging with Shannon and we are consulting right now plus I have a conference call blowin’ up my phone brb. Ok just joking someone is texting me lol.

More gossip soon I promise.

Okay I am back now. last night was fun and cookie filled always nice to visit the city yes yes. I’ll write more about the event tomorrow. Lets just say I ate a lot of cookies and they were awesome. We woke up and ate more.

Prob phoning the rest of this post in. Definitely.

It’s been a long ass winter. I’m excited for the bout of traveling I’m about to embark on.

There’ll be some upcoming RTM guest bloggers too. Be nice to them.

Me and Duncs in Florida. I am 2 1/2.

Alright enough procrastination. Remind me to do my thing on Woody Allen please. I assure you it won’t be worth it. Tootles.

Supposin’ you’ll be wanting to hear about this time too.

Selfie time for the big boys now. XO

Death by amazing!

BRB!!! My brother is gonna die when I share this mix with him. All we care about are the eighties right now and secret chocolate bars. I’m also feeling a little Judy Garland today but that’s a personal sort of treat kinda thing.