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You drive me Craymi

Hi everybody. It’s funny how Attention Deficit Disorder can totally– I can barely finish that sentence!

I always look like carbage when we go on the vespa. It didn’t really make sense to do my hair before all that. Some guys like girl scruffs anyway. Scruff Life. Also I find that some of the hottest girls are disgustng slobs in real life most of the time. Like why gym rats always wear jogging pants. It’s so obnoxious and in your face. Here is this giant dickhead who eats sleeps dreams breaths gym, cloaked in basketball jogging pants that look like a giant tent. It makes me think of youth. And University. I have a University boner because I never went. I was jinxed at birth with giftedness and needn’t to learn no more. Maybe I will go back to school like Rodney Dangerfield. Just so I can do a back flip off a series of diving boards and impress a barely attractive smartly dress distinguished woman. Wow next thought please.

My hair looks like a number seven at you.

My messy hair looks the same as the birds. My right nostril is bigger than my left. GREAT WHAT’S NEXT. Trust me this blog post is going to be really amazing. Really really. I think I am having a love affair with hating blogging right now or I am just satiated that I have a couple new work gigs (Playboy + something else :)) so I can “just chill” but I think do I have to keep going with my blog or have I blogged enough? If people want new news daily, maybe they can just wait? I think bloggers who blog less than me grapple with the need for daily blog postings, of the why bother? sort.

Checkered shirt, checkered hat. Check.

Before or after Demi/Ashton split? The answer is integral to my wanting to watch this gotta ba bona fide mega hit flick. What could it even be about!??? Don’t tell me!

The history of the word potato in my Craymi glossary goes something like this. Rebecca is a potato. The end. AHahah kidding. I used to eat chicken shawarma plates like twice a day but I would skip on the potatoes because I thought it would make me skinnier so then Rebecca and I enacted a potato-bartering system meaning I’d just save her my potatoes and she’d eat them then one day I tweeted at her I bet you’re eating potatoes right now and she actually was at that moment in time. Our bond over potatoes and actually anything really borders on insanity, like, cray artsy bitches kind. And humour. So one day we will age and be like a couple of potatoes together probably because no men can actually stand us lol. Steve and I call each other potatoes too, and wizards. We point out wizards everywhere, and Yellow Santas. That’s another one I might have to conjure up a is it a wizard OR is it a Yellow Santa™? They are all over Toronto. ps. in my phone Rebecca is called ‘Rebecca Stupid’. She is my best friend.

I sincerely think (hope) that all the things I think up will all be in one original television show someday. I have ideas man. And other funny friends in mind to help me write it/play a part. French Hamburger will even be there. I might have a Dad’s Corner too. Obvs Raymismom (eye roll in advance) blabbity blah etc.

Ask, believe, receive.

Where attention goes energy flows? These are positive sayings written on the white board. I guess I can be negative at times (realistic, cough cough) so maybe if I take my humongous brain and try some positivity I might do some good. At the least, not harm. I don’t really think I’m that negative. I think I’m funny. Baha.

Look, my feet are making a feet circle. Cos I flipped the picture. Remember when I said I was gifted?

My omelette at Sadie’s. That is our place. I want them to put vodka on the menu. Just like one glass, for me. Come on. Do it.

Jesus just do it. It’s some of our day’s off you know. Like, always.

I told them to hold the mozz but I said I want you to know that I want to eat it, but I’m not going to. We had the same waitress we had the first time we went there together. She was dressed, how do you say, kind of slutty? I liked it. In that way that you’re only supposed to stare at them in the eyes and only there.

But she’s funny and always says something eccentric or cloy to everything I say like we are in a who is funnier zippier more “on” at this brunch competition. I studied everyone in that room. Some curiosities afoot but nothing major.

Steve ate these before he ate pancakes. Pancakes come with nothing. Seems logical. I like how you have to have all these things accompanying your food. Who invented meals? Gosh that’s something a foodie would know. It prob goes back to biblical times.

So I guess we kept the sabbath holy after all. Paired by the dirtiest mug in Toronto. Give’r.

Looking good Tarek. Speaking of, there’s a Nella Bella sample sale on Wednesday 11AM – 7PM. Last one before xmas HINT ATTACK. You know I love me some Nella.

What’s up April.

I gotta hurry the eff up and get out of here. Going to a fancy party.

Too cute.

Chilly ride.

Yikes.

Scraps of me life.

And that’s all. Bye-o.

7 thoughts on “You drive me Craymi

  1. helmets
    can I share my helmet with you?
    I was asked if I’d like to wear a helmet when horseback riding in the ocean at Turks & Caicos. I refused. What would Superman have to say on this subject?

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