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May the new year bring me lots of riches and bitches in stitches

Lauren and I could have a nice show together, Loren and Luhren (and for the ten billionth fucking time that is how you say my name and why I invented Raymi and it is confusing to be around Laurens cos I think they’re calling my name because some REFUSE to pronounce my name properly, it’s been my name since playschool birth get it right or get a spear through the face!) I’ll scan this for you kay. You have the other one which is ten times worse than this right hahah.

Photobooth at the Drake is better now.

Even though she’s the retarded friend, we accept Lauren Onizz. I like goofy girls. Cos when I do stupid shit they’re the first to nod their heads and go I understand. When we all went to wakestock together do you know how many times we’d leave something on the top of Lauren’s car and then drive away, I win for doing that the most, my purse, a pop, a salad, haha.

I was going to wear a sparkle dress but everyone told me not to so now I will never be able to wear it unless I get hired for a Caesar’s palace housewife shoot. I didn’t want to copy Casie or get stared at all night or make up in my head that I was being stared at all night which is dumb because I live to be stared at.

Me and Kate and Casie knows who she is, her cousin? Raymi stoo-pid forgetful and I don’t listen either. All good things!

Opened the middle one first for ourselves cos it’s least posh, wanted to show off with the cava, which we opened and can’t remember if anyone else saw or cared and then by the third who knows the fuck what was going on HAPPY NEW YEAR DONE RIGHT!

Thank you Kate for hooking us up with the cheapo tix. I’m glad we went out, I can’t party with myself and the tree in the living room and call it a party when I do it everyday.

All the boyfriends fell in love with each other man and we got to hear HEY MAN I LOVE THIS GUY ten thousand times yes you’re welcome we know thank god and we can tell the bromance is blossoming.

Felt a lot of pressure to turn out a hot outfit. Didn’t. I was feeling too much party stressed.

WTF is this beauty and the beast? I want to watch cartoons all day long I wonder if I could turn that in to some sort of job.

It’s hard to get group portraits with everyone but we seemed to have managed to do it, and some of us have zero recollection of this even being taken.

Teach doesn’t remember any of these, where is this he asked? The Drake. Who’s hotel room? Oh some guy with vampire sunglasses on. Lauren and I stole his girlfriend for a cruise of the Sky yard for a bit leaving the boys up to play in the room.

Every hotel room needs stolen balloons.

I think she made it herself?

I was shy at this point so I couldn’t get a picture with the dragons, I went all disney in my head like politely waiting for my turn instead of the hipster cluster mob encircling them. One day I will ride a dragon.

Amazing dress this amazon was wearing. I wore flats so no I am not a midget. I wanted to be able to have control of my feet all night so I kept it safe and Sally Jessie Raphael.

That girl is just asking for a melon squeeze. All girls will be lesbians one day and that will be the time of Raymi!

I’m so special.

Teacher is in a black out here.

And here.

Here too.

I should have known by how we were squabbling and I couldn’t get through to him. Meh. No one was hurt. I was just super fucking annoyed. I need to lighten up and worry about myself more, new resolution is I am going to stop caring about everyone around me (impossible). Also, Teacher’s iphone is broken, won’t turn on, probably happened in his black out probably rested it in a pile of water at the drake maybe. Poor baby.

Lauren O has the longest fingers here. We should buy her an award. A finger.

Should have worn my white fur jacket with the bow but again I was in the mood for casual. Not that I am competitive or anything.

Dim Sum party was fun, we got the VIPLEASE treatment from the Mansion boys and our boyfriends had to stay on the other side of the rope for awhile hahaha. Thanks be to blog and know your place. Mansion (Conrad?) was like those three blonds let them in, no wristbands necessary, remember this face. So self-entitled. Earned.

We are good at taking selfie pics but when there is three of us too many arms in the way and shadows. Need to hire more blog slaves.

A lot of these are Lauren’s cos she was the most operating functioning sober person and dragons were dancing around us aaaaah.

Two people in there? Or one guy with really long arms or sticks I dunno.

Bottle and cans of beer service in our area, we brought the dudes drinks and then when all the vultures were let in the booze was drank. People dancing on tables and all talking nonsense and getting along, very nice. I am not afraid of Toronto anymore, well I never was but you know, people don’t go out to clubs cos they’re insecure or nervous, you just gotta do it and see that the majority is out to have fun and hug and scream in to stranger’s faces I LOVE YOU MANS. Being around young people helps keep you look and dressing young, oh I see this is what they’re doing, short skirts? Groovy.

My nose is so big it captured all of the red light. Lauren’s outfit was awesome. I was almost going to wear my new black corset too but I chickened out.

I dressed up to go to the supermarket, it’s all about the face though I feel and everyone said I looked pretty and that’s all that counts. This dress of hers is very Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Bony cat. C’ept she has bigger bewbs. Score.

Wheee. First time seeing what the Drake hotel rooms look like. You get extra permission to trainwreck through the building with a hotel key.

We met this girl’s friend who was a bit wasted downstairs and hung out by the fire, bumped into Carly’s sister Kristin and everything was running smoothly on the sky yard typical drake shenans.

I made a new friend. He bought me a drink and said I do not buy drinks for women who aren’t going to fuck me but for you I will make an exception because I had made such an impression. I think I weaselled a shot out of him for Lauren I can’t remember. I don’t know his name he was nice but there are a lot of man cougar rocker eccentric types at the drake for you single cats out there.

We were so close to making it out of there with our blankets, Lauren made it out further didn’t try very hard to obscure them, the security guy was like I’m gonna need my blankets back and I gave puppy dog, no, puss in boots eyes and it ALMOST worked.

On our way back to Santa’s village.

Sparkle stars everywhere.

I figured a way to beat the competition.

Why do I pose like I’m on a soap opera? Gaydorable and the restless. Lauren always looks good and Lauren does too lol.

Back to more stupidity another time. Did you guys lose your minds that I didn’t blog yesterday? Don’t answer all at once now. We ended up at our place and I came downstairs with a boulder-sized bundle of tickle trunk costumes and dresses and we had a drag queen party and took 400 mystery blackmail camera photos I will have to see what I can and can’t post, if it were up to me, EVERYTHANG. Will have to ask Casie and Sarah what they feel comfortable being exploited with and how far, the dudes I could care less what their feelings are. GIRLS RULE LE BLOG.Sarahwho we all have a crush on now btw, has been reading my blog for years and knows everything about me, super specific shit I have long forgotten, it was mind-blowing to be blown by her infinite Raymi wisdom one day there’ll be a quiz game on Raymi the Minx to test the knowledge and memory of all Little Raymis out there, questions like WHAT YEAR DID RAYMI FIRST TRY PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS? How many boyfriends has Raymi had? When did Raymi’s mother start commenting on rtm.com, What is Raymi’s middle name? (It’s Krista).

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my burger king stacker I hope it goes right to my tits.

Happy New Year. Payce!

Tell me what you did last night I mean two nights ago we missed a day over here haha.

(Casie I need your pics)(Still from both times haha).

21 thoughts on “May the new year bring me lots of riches and bitches in stitches

  1. I love this post and I want a finger trophy. There’s this dude, I always say I’m going to cut off his fingers slowly – slice by slice. 100 slices each finger. My trophy :)

    Such a good nye. Pleashah to spend it with you luh-REN! More. Much more L-squared in 2012 if the burrito gods don’t kill us all.

    <3

  2. I think we need to get the boys walkie talkies so they can talk about marbles and pretend detectives. I will get you a finger I bet I could buy one in chinatown. Or steal one off a mummy at the ROM.

  3. so random. the girl that is with you in the photos with you, the tall girl with the super sparkley boob dress and then there’s a 3rd girl on the right…i used to work with her at H&M here in peterborough. her names leanne!

  4. moko who are you then and why don’t you comment? sarah said she is too afraid to comment but lurked for years, i’m so lonely! will people lose their minds/jobs/dignity if they comment on their favourite blog which should be required therapy for all.

    carly tell her to see herself on my blog and if she needs more compliments we have more saved up we were quite girl’s girly at her mesmerizingness.

  5. I swear at one point in time I was smart. Yes you would in. Name every piercing ive ever had and sine taken out. DO I put oj in beer sometimes? what is a sake bomb? wat was the brand of candy i stuffed up my nose once?

  6. I only keep track of the important shit. (i.e. Cava, knee socks, Blythe, burlesque) Everything else is just gravy.

  7. Oh, you silly little asshole! You have gotten utterly stuck on yourself, and ya know, that’s great and all, prolly why I still keep reading! Your the devil on my shoulder, maybe a lil down-play-age will help just a smidge. Just wanna help. I’ve been around a long time, and I’m more like, ‘awww, dang..’ Than ‘fucking rock on!’ and p.s. I liked ‘fil'(Phil) WAY better dude.
    (Don’t tell teacher, hurt feelings suck!).. You deserve the world, just don’t take that shit for granted…only sayin cuz I already know ;) peace and yes yea, I saw the whole WU-Tang-tang cuz everybody this last year! Even ODB’s son who’s a damn near carbon copy, I feel your when you mention GFK!
    No hating here, girl, just be what u always have been, real, and you’ll be alright. People you don’t even know want to know you, just like me. (As in, everyone wants 2 know me… I’m THAT girlk, and from me to you, we r living a magical life, raim’s…

  8. who are you? email me! Wu taaaaaaaang. im not stuck on myself in a bad way, so sayeth eminem, you only got one shot. and i’m taking it. your comment got me psyched, thanks lurky loo!

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