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start in the middle

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It is no secret that my life is insane, that i am half crazy, and often times i don’t know which way is up. last week was a whirlwind and this week will probably turn my brains into swiss cheese. as i look forward to and glimpse my immediate future i must pause and take a couple hours to reflect back on the past week as, that’s what we’re here for no?

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friday (it was friday, yes?) saw me traipsing down to blue jays way to get my gunned on with the boys. brother kyle was in town with a motley crue of the same wavelength your hero is all about so i put on some teeny shorts and sweated my arse through the big smoke. i love me some amble.

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that’s the stockbroker. he blasted back to ottawa after a few dance offs.

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stockbauer on the right, rented this condo with a shitty view and thus commenced making fun of everything in the entire universe, your scene, that scene, precisely what a good old fashioned summertime self-entitled bendering is all about.

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backlit kyle is a year my junior (pussy) and also juniorer yet to his brother gavin, one third of vice magazine-triad’s founding fathers blaahahajdkawbabfk; etc.

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i took ten thousand pictures of myself because that is what i do and everywhere i looked was a mirror or a dude. the mirror always wins.

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i invited some girls over don’t worry i’m not that greedy. they never came though haha.

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it’s too bad you can’t talk about things on blogs like when i was younger dumber and stupider, those are the best stories.

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don’t worry, everyone made fun of my shorts like i gave a shit. i look awesome. these things are now too big for me. i’ve stretched them out and gotten more lithe. summertime slim out holla! good thing too cos i’ll be walking down a runway tomorrow. yup. staying at a swanky hotel with a $1k shopping spree too and somehow going to manage to cram in partying with liam/noelwhatever gallagher tonight, his beady eyes band is playing sound academy. i’ve never seen oasis before so i will be staring at him like i have staring problems (which, i DO have) aghhhh i told you this week is going to be intense. btw liam gallagher is one of my top fives. teacher is in for a nervous breakdown tonight possibly AND i have my own hotel suite. SWEET! ;)

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we made kebabs. no fingers were lost.

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domestic molestic. i called teacher and was all haaaaaaaaay whatcha up to about to nap? well if you wanna come now you can, it’s just me and 5 guys alone in a condo haha. well this one chick was passed out in a bedroom but that doesn’t really count. she kept tripping me out and reminding me of my old friend sarah, sounded like her too, talked like her. so cute. hi dana!

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ok not a bad view if you hang over the balcony that way.

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fire alarm went off for forever in this building. zero people cared.

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then these dickheads convinced me into that tiny girls bikini what shockingly fit my amazon frame. the thing about toronto and condos is, it’s against protocol to go and hang around in your bathingsuits cos all these uptight condo poor people get offended. major buzzkills. stuck it out for a few seconds hating them for it. the hot tub is on the inside up there. what’s the point, biodome world?

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ahhahaa whatever.

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the robe also made me look like a mental patient. thank yew for that.

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the bikini made me look awesome though so, even steven.

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back together again.

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these are all just from my blackberry too which is funny as these bozos work for bberry and mine is half busted i can’t believe they aren’t bending over backwards raining one down on me it’s like, you just love the hell out of my suffering. bastards.

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but if every cloud has a silver bullet lining, i shall make my peace. is that even the right branding slogan? feh. stuff some benjamins in it next time and i will make a point to get it right. -president.

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yeah thanks.

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i’m going to climb those stairs someday.

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i’ll post my mystery camera pics another day. good times dewds nice give’ring with ya.

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i love this kini. get used to looking at it or averting your gaze until i get another one. it was my father’s day outfit yesterday and surprisingly everyone took to it like no biggie. even nana.

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peaced out last night after daddy’s day, we were wiped so didn’t go to the gaga mmva party i bought this dress for. can’t win ‘em all lebowski.

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love this photo should i make it my next minx sidebar sponsored ad? do you think people know or “get” that those are raymi’s ska minx nails up there? i should include my face too right or like a long essay about my nails?

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i had a vegan sandwich here. i am going to emulate a vegan’s diet for the week to stay skinny as my newd scene is on the weekend. i want to look like one of those gross branch-looking insects hahahaha.

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i call that the cupcake surprise hairdo. my mother calls it a bird’s nest.

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the process of minxing is quite interesting. i’ll do a video next time.

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then kathy files off the excess with a nice glass file. simple. clean. tidy.

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wish these were here for the royal tea party i went to.

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and then i just dump all the gossip down on her and she’s like this is why you are my girl raymi. haha.

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you always want the one you didn’t go for and obsess over it til you go back and get it.

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i want to roll around in these.

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it was a very close call.

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the sweltering walk began like so. underwearless. simple. i have adopted an if i need it i’ll just buy it epithet. carrying around a cardigan is bothersome and you will never wear it. go out with as little as possible and just get the fuck out out of the house!

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tickle trunk couch will be going here soon.

ok chopping this in half must put the dryer on again. it takes 300 minutes (not kidding!) to dry a load. i wish there was something better than a pillow to scream into like a one eight hundred number you can call up to take your stress out on, oh wait one exists already, it’s called rogers. hay o! missed two workouts last week but thankfully i made today’s cos my body and mind definitely needed that stress relieving pulverizing andrew put me through. tyler was there in tip top form too and lucky loo there’s a great wagjag deal up for my gym right now so you cheapskates can turn into a little sleek toned turbo babe like your hero so What’s the WagJag?
$49 for One Month of Unlimited Re-Energizer Bootcamp and 12 Interactive Training Workout Sessions at The Motion Room. long story short, you are an idiot if you don’t jump at this opportunity. you have three days to mull it over. time’s a tickin’.

XOXOO!

4 thoughts on “start in the middle

  1. Didn’t read the post yet but what a gorgeous red dress. A winner!
    Looking forward to seeing you take a break and relax in South Beach.
    Lois has packed already, yikes.

  2. i love that cute aprony dress. so sweet.
    if i lived in toronto i’d totally take up the motion room on their offer. that is amazing.
    right now i’m doing my own thang. i started the couch to 5k jogging program. it feels good to get my fat arse up and moving, pushing myself way beyond what i thought my limits were. go fitness!

  3. hahahaha cupcake surprise.

    your body looks AHMAZING. im going to drown my sorrows in a chocolate bar.

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