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Everytime I walk in the club they hating on me cuz they know I look good my hair done right and my dress real tight all eyes on me I took the night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4950486334/

cowlick out of control, needs to relax. i was wearing my hair up in pebbles updo so many days in a row without washing it some got tangled in a hair elastic and ripped out. it’s growing but looks major stupid during the whole blow dry process.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4949881449/in/photostream/

just going to breeze through these shots. that’s rabbit.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4949879393/in/photostream/

it’s safe to say this nail polish shade is a big hit. now i’m back on the baby pink train for the time being.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4950468216/in/photostream/

primo dining vantage camera point everyone comes out uber talented-seeming when they have a picture like this. guy all you did was sit the camera on the table and press shoot.

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big deal brewmaster what looks like my uncle roger. once he got a little gassed out came the vietnam stories. we were feeling it.

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10.5% oh what a hangover the next day was.

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still riding my one little bar trick wave. the lushes love it. a lot harder to do with these kinds of glasses.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4949864479/in/photostream/

someone was actually paying attention or pretending to.

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ordered wine straight off the bat to mellow out. beer weekers eyeballing some arrogant twat with a glass of wine, guess how many comments? get over it guys i love winona ryder i also do whatever the fuck i want, are you new?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4950451732/in/photostream/

this is when the buzzed shows up.

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i even matched my underwear.

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the lighting in that pub is very cozy. sigh fall. here it comes.

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ginger took that one.

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went nuts on the food photos. amped to take more with the pen.

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i have no recollection of what was paired with what. here eat this, drink that. done.

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such a brat.

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8.5% went with the soup. magnif combo and that’s when my taste detection abilities went out the window.

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they ran out of girls gift bags so we let ging take a dude one. wow what a fascinating photograph.

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this is more like it. my eyes were gushing so i had to bring out the garths. i have seasonal allergies. it really sucks.

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i have my moments. i bet you’re getting sick of these photos.

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why is my hair taking so long to get long????

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requisite shining shot.

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bailed on jd party last nite and i’m hung all the same anyway, carry over hangover. went on a date. did i tell you i fired up a new dating profile? i dunno what it is about my pics or the time of year but i’m being inundated with way more dudes this time around. must be photos or looking better or they’re just more desperate or it was always like that i just didn’t notice.

i have periods of being totally fine with being single and then totally angry about it. i’ve become picky as fuck in some areas. if you’re out with a guy and he’s not the one you can just dismiss and be on to the next. you don’t bother to bend your mind to see the possibility of getting to like him and make a life or whatever, well you do but only for a night then you wake up the next day pissed off at how much he sucked. totally seinfelding my way through dates, essentially.

i’m completely tired of men and dating while also completely addicted to the hunt. it IS exhausting. you connect with someone but can’t see them for a week or two cos of conflicting work/life schedules so in-between you go on a couple dates to kill time and test the waters out there, you haven’t forgotten about the first guy you just put him on a shelf til later and see how you fare with others whom without fail completely bring you down. i have no shame about internet dating. look how much it makes sense for me i wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the internet.

i know shit is taking off and about to take off really hard for me so i don’t know if i’ll even have time for a relationship, i make time for one even though there are so many more important things i should be doing for my career right now. i can’t help it i’m just “meant” to have someone around constantly to irritate boss around demand shit from pay me attention dote on me and be doted in return. it’s not difficult but once you’ve been single for awhile it seems to be the case. whoever this lucky bastard to be is must meet every single stipulation i have. stew and i were hanging at mezzrow’s last nite and he said he only bangs “the one” types and i’m pretty much the same. so basically if i sleep with you it’s cos you’ve passed all my tests and i could see us hanging around and becoming in like but then it goes to crap somehow and i get really pissed at this person for somehow not being a mind reader and just knowing that i thought all these nice things about them.

i have a few guys in the wings ready and willing to lock shit down with me but i’m perplexed. sort of a mess. sort of not ready yet even though i keep whining about wanting a boyfriend. do i really? can my next boyfriend handle all that comes with raymicorp?

i quit my job on tuesday. i have a couple more shifts but yeah i just can’t do it anymore. i got tired of looking at rich little chicks and their arrogant asshole arm candy dudes with their father’s credit cards and i realised i could afford to not take that shit anymore. i love that bar and i love everything its done for me i just need to focus on not being hungover all the time plowing through emails with one eye open half-assing my business. it’s time to make a change. clem said if i was working there a year from when i began then i failed. i worked there 8 months. it kinda fucked my summer the summer of all summers to be depressed by. the bar made me fat i am sticking to that excuse. the stress made me fat. the bar stress fat. having a couple shifts a week made it so i couldn’t really get away so i was stuck in the city constantly it felt forcing myself on awful dates to kill time thinking a new relationship would fix my problems.

i wouldn’t mind going back in the fall or winter for a shift or two if they’d have me. i didn’t go out in flames like i thougt i would tom cruise jerry maguire styles. i don’t think half the staff even knows about it yet though who’s to know for sure the gossip fishbowl there is ridiculous as are all bars. i am still in shock about quitting and i worry i might wig out a little over it but for the most part i feel liberated and proud of myself which is why i’ve been hungover two days in a row, celebrating. yes there is finally a reason for it other than “life”.

if you don’t feel the desperation at your heels to achieve then you just won’t bother and before you know it months fly by and you’re not getting any younger or prettier. if i have a safety net then i will not bother working any harder than i barely work already. so i had to do it. i’ve had very few “real” jobs in my life so to me it’s a big deal that i did this meanwhile i have friends who land and ditch jobs like no tomorrow. i’m a loyal person, a lifer, i don’t passively do anything. i know i’ll miss that place. i still have dreams of the hardware store i worked in and like, crave building scott’s fertilizer spreaders, or mixing paint. i could see myself living in the sticks sitting in a parking lot chainsmoking throwing top soil into the trunks of cars no problem. i require full body work stimulation. fuck maybe i should do something for the planet and build houses like sayid in lost somewhere remote for a couple months instead of being a huge selfish prick all the time.

i’ve got some other great news but it’ll have to wait. i need to learn how to sit on things.

18 thoughts on “Everytime I walk in the club they hating on me cuz they know I look good my hair done right and my dress real tight all eyes on me I took the night.”

  1. you quit your job woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! that’s exciting.

    also that beer tasting thing looked fuckin funnnnnnnnnnnn

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  3. dating sites are very addictive.
    You know theres a problem when you make a b-line to the computer every time you walk into your home
    or blackberry the sites when out with friends

    While you are sitting on the fence, I’d take a long break from relationship and concentrate on the things you want to accomplish.

    Hanging onto men and jobs that aren’t working for you anymore is a codependency thing. Staying loyal longer than should be is a key trait.

  4. Good luck with everything. It was brave of you to quit. I still dream I am bartending all the time. I loved it. Once a bartender, always a bartender. Plus, it’s one of the few jobs where people are always happy to see you, like being a fireman or Santa Clause.

  6. Even though I don’t know any of the people you worked with or your boss I am confident they are understanding and happy to have had you work for and with them. Your bosses’ still-here-in-a-year line needs to be said by every boss in every restaurant, food service, customer service place etc… because it’s true. No one should feel chained to the bar, oven, whatever job unless it’s cashing out. I wish my bosses didn’t freak out when I quit my minimum wage job, heh.

    I don’t have anything to say about dating besides, don’t worry about it you’re awesome? easier said right.

  8. Great ‘stache on the brewmeister, nice pix in the subway too. I miss that station a little bit.
    Not getting younger or prettier doesn’t meant you can’t be getting more beautiful.
    Clem’s point is interesting. It was a good place to land and have some steady coin coming in for a while.
    Moving right along…
    Cheers!
    XX, eh.

  9. come on. you take photos of yourself. eating. drinking. you make pouty lips. then take some more pictures. of yourself. eating. drinking. you call yourself interesting. come on. now. is this really interesting? you’re kidding. right?

    i mean, you’re alright. but so absolutely full of shit perhaps more fibre. but i keep coming back. because i am an arsehole.

    your mom. wow. deep.

  10. your posts since quitting have already been way better, more the old raymi.

    sad about you leaving central, not for you, but me! I always ask my TO friends if they see a beautiful blonde behind the bar there and then confess my girl crush.

    you rock, raymi.

  14. I really hope you have something up your sleeve, because if things fall apart people are gonna take the piss outta ya.

  15. I still believe that you should have your hair dyed that shade of blue… you know, of your polish nail.

    I worked in hospitality business (a Japanese Restaurant/Sushi Bar) for 4 1/2 when I lived in Florida(Isla del Sol – Gulf of Mexico), so I can say that working to try to please drunk folks is a pretty overwhelming job. I was the cashier/hostess there. I learned a lot there but I also got hard times too. It is a mix of nice and weird feelings. At least I was saved for having Roberto (my husband) working there too as a chef.

    Good luck on your next endeavors.

  17. Congrats on quiting you day job. I did recently too, and I get to work from home teaching private art lessons on my own time. Slow, but the money is getting there.

    As for dating, I’m nearly 30, have been single for 3 months (after 3 years of intense monogamy with a bonehead who was weighing me down). There’s a lot of pressure because all of my friends are in marrying/babymaking mode, but I still refuse to settle down with my recent dates – the 24-year-old who still lived at home and collected comic books, the cartoonist whos forhead-to-face ratio never quite sat right with me.. When I go on a date I just ask myself “Is this the guy my 15 years of dating bullshit was worth waiting for?” Alas, it has be a no thus far. Be patient honey; you’re smart and a total sex pot.. Mr. Awesome will come.

  18. Wow, you quit your job eh? Good for you! I wish I had the balls to actually quit mine.. I have been stuck here for 2 years and dread every day of it. It’s major fear of not knowing what I want to do next that’s holding me back..

    Dating of any kind takes guts, whether internet dating or not. You are truly living it up. Doing what makes you happy. Realising what doesn’t make you happy. Making the moves you want, when you want. Don’t ever change!

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