Horse loves you when you move with him / People hate you when you’re changing

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i’m on day three no weed now and i feel great. so much clarity and leaning out, bring on the chiseled, hello hip bones nice to see your friendly faces again. i haven’t been snack attacking and my crazy sugar cravings are pretty much non-existent now i feel like a total idiot for not doing this sooner.

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if you follow my twitter then you already know i went on a pretty bad date the other nite but it’s ok as last nite’s date slayed. fuck’n finally and no i don’t feel bad for doing a play-by-play update on twitter. the guy sucked, his identity will never be revealed, no big deal. the dating scene is an awful soul-sucking place so why should i feel bad, fuck, i feel bad enough for myself. do you know how many crappy dates i’ve been on since i joined pof? i want to puke. it’s my life, i write about my life, get the fuck over it creeps.

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why did i join that site? well for the billionth time it’s easier to learn what is up in this manner in lieu of eye-tag with a stranger in a bar all night long then neither of you approach one another and then you both go home glum and glummer. no i am not hard up, i get hit on like bananas, i get screamed at in the street all the time (good screams) but it never amounts to anything.

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i am disgusted and repulsed by what is being said about myself, my mother, my ex, melodie, my friends, everything, right now on the good old internet. these people have nothing, no lives of their own to focus on it’s sick, totally unhealthy. i am resigned to this treatment and that’s wrong. i am desensitized by it. also wrong. people ask me all the time how i do this and i say well to pack it in now would be pretty fucking stupid. hatred comes with the territory. the nature of the flamer, troll, hater, is to purposely provoke and push buttons and to flub facts to make the attackee step in and correct then it drags on and on and on until you ignore. you’re never supposed to engage these fuckers but it’s so hard not to. blah. they say when i go to my dad’s i’m sponging off him. i visit my dad because we enjoy each other’s company and i’m a good bloody daughter and it’s a heatwave out here i like to leave the city and clear my head why the fuck am i defending myself to you assholes? so when you visit your family that’s you sponging too? cool logic. do you know it actually costs me money to go out there and i am self-sufuckingfficient i work fucking hard and i play fucking hard and guess what I DO MAKE MONEY OFF THIS BLOG FOR THE BILLIONTH GODDAMN TIME. when i go out and take photos of my life, that’s me MAKING MONEY. that’s my content. my life is my content where is the mystery is everyone on crazy pills here are you new? i also get to go to events for free and drink for free and so do my friends because we’re hip and connected that’s how it works, we go to exclusive parties that you do NOT because you’re not in-the-know, of-the-know, you are nothing of the sort and you never were nor will be. whose fault is that? you know what, if any of you had the nards to email me and ask i would take you as my plus one because i am that insane and generous you have no clue, seriously no clue that’s what’s ultimately so draining about every raymi bashing thread for my friends to bear witness to because they know me, they know i would give them my shirt.

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this sign worked like a charm yesterday.

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there is some disgusting fuck in oakville stalking me on twitter. he made an account specifically to fuck with me. he told me to close my legs and toronto smells bad enough. how can people be so awful? i know i can be snarky and all but i am not a cruel person i also don’t harass people. all those anonymous shitstains bandy about the same excuse for years YEEEEEARS about why they “have” to be anonymous because i’ll come and stalk them. please. as if i have the time. i barely have time for the majority of my friends why on earth would i invest time in some lunatic i don’t even know or care about? you’re anonymous because 1. you’re either someone who knows me in the real world and you’re too afraid to tell me to my face what you feel about me yet for some reason maintain a phony relationship with me or 2. you’re disgusting-looking, you know in your heart you don’t measure up to snuff. the emptiest vessels make the most noise. true and true and true. you think i’ll reject you so you pre-reject. babies.

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so like on a saturday nite and then a sunday afternoon when we’re out living our lives doing our thing these peons are aggressively obsessively talking about us and WE are the losers here???? get fucked guys!

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how am i a terrible person for daring to go on dates and seek out a boyfriend?? and apparently i’m seeking one out to grift off of? ever heard of a thing called LOVE, black hearts? even jian (whom you also cannot stop talking about are you in fucking love with him?) or any other canadian notable, are famous people not allowed to date? spread themselves around like any other normal person? why are you SO brutally bitter?

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i would just like to thank you on behalf of my clients, they will be pleased with the MINOR traffic spike your shitty little website garnered. they sure do love their stats.

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great little studio sale.

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tons of triumphs in this little nook, jamie.

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here’s how the haterade always goes down.

-go out with friends

-turns out friends are mutual friends of someone famous

-famous person’s photo goes on my blog

-blog lurker links to my post with said famous person’s photo in it the second i hit publish AND I’M THE LOSER AGAIN? i suck so bad that you just have to park on my blog 24/7? riiight.

-ten thousand bored people go who’s raymi

-person who initially linked to the photo of famous person explains who i am along with their personal raymi biases.

-famous person bashing turns into raymi bashing.

-i or my friend DARES to stand up for me which makes me even more despised because newsflash you are not allowed to stick up for yourself on the internet. you are one person, they are one person posing as 50 losers.

-thread hate ensues until you give them nothing, could be days.

yawn.

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omg im sooooooooo narcissistic look at me having my picture taken for the hundred-thousandth time what a fucking asshole!

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one more thing.

i am super proud of my mother. i love her to pieces. she drives me nuts but so what whose mother doesn’t? she’s owning it big time. she is a very nurturing and caring person and will have anyone’s back in a crisis. she is a beautiful woman inside and out how DARE you say such disgusting things about my mother you are sickening and psychotic and i hope you feel terrible about all of this. despicable. you know who you fucking are. go look in the mirror, take a long hard look and tell yourself you feel great. you bitter, sad, sad, humans. i feel sorry for you.

ps. lia the olympus pen is amazing!!!!