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I’m in the middle of your picture

hippie shirt up for grabs, lucky brand, size i dunno. best offer. oh and that’s me with poodle hair. sorry, cid isnt for sale. though i keep trying.

cute print.

a little overwhelming.

don’t wear it with an xs leather jacket though unless you want to look like you escaped from the psych ward, but really, didn’t i anyway? feh.

britt looks like an archie character here. good thing. (holy shit update your blog already girl)

trying to get used to this poodle hair. britt says if i went on an audition with my hair like this i’d get the part. then i asked if she had a crush on me. the answer is no. NO SAN DIEGO. what a liar.

makeup reunited and it feeels so good. fil is sitting behind me and i am blocking him completely ha. off to sushi D on college. nice place, nice atmosphere, makes you order more food and stick around longer. smart guys.

just hangin’ that’s right omg i hate my jokes.

MATCHES MY HAIR! (k i like that one)

i feel like i haven’t been taking as many “still lifes” lately, or as many as i did when i really got into the blogging groove. as pretentious and artfully desperate as it seems, i always reasoned that to not acknowledge the effort one made in creating a beautiful space for you, their knick knacks, lighting, etc, i think that is such a waste why would i sit in this room with my camera not capturing it? our “things” have become more beautiful over time, think back to the 80s, all gross clunky junk just to serve a purpose, fill a need. now everything is beautiful to me. maybe it was the sake.

see? cold sake bottle with ice cube pieces in the center, intelligent. i don’t get people reacting haughtily to someone taking a picture of this. excuse me waitress could you send that table over there an order of go fuck themselves on me? that’d be great. maybe for hot sake they put a tea light candle in there? nah the wax would get everywhere.

one of the hundred necklaces i brought home from my aunt’s. excuse me where is the weed?

good sashimi, could do without the fishy stuff in the bottom right corner, tuna?

served with rice tits.

scorpion roll (eel tempura shrimp and avocado). these guys need to be a little less frugal with the spicy mayo.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

grossish.

after i complete the task of inhaling sashimi i pour my wasabi/soya concoction onto my rice and get off on the pockets of heat. try it!

britt is into the craft.

that’s so ugly. you know i’m kidding right i can’t tell if you can tell when i’m kidding anymore or i think my humour is so advanced that NO ONE can get it. like british humour.

sesame street vibe. mr. cooper anyone?

which way to the slumber party please.

i have my sleeping buddy ready and everything.

fil we’re home!

steph i am morphing into you.

HOLY TOLEDO! ok so i always thought secrets from your sister were sloppy slobs placing triple D bras on mannequins and stuffing them with tissue, to showcase that they have bras for stacked chicks, fine yeah but why so grotesque? turns out their mannequins are also stacked. hard to tell from across the street.

ridiculous!

i feel a draft. a gale force wind more like.

could that model be skinnier too?

new pub in town, has a tv in each booth (like 20 of them even the teeny ones) it’s called rovers and it’s right beside payless shoes across from honest ed’s.

watched kenny vs spenny. dream pub for nite’s out with brosz7 and fil and camera mafia wars talk i can watch entire episodes of whatever and tune them out.

then i took my blood pressure a thousand times.

do not take your blood pressure through a leather jacket.

hmm doesn’t seem normal.

remove jacket.

baha spooge cream. what we’re all out of lotion!

so i’m good here, even from talking and getting agitated by people walking near me, the most stressful shit could be happening all around me and my blood pressure would be fine.

except reading this part about diabetes/kidney disease, i’m like, so if my blood pressure is that then that means i HAVE kidney disease? oh yeah make sure you take your blood pressure after some sake and a vodka soda.

fil’s blood pressure is in the normal range but borderline high. i said maybe i should stand further away while you take this test haha.

my second shot at it. a bit higher.

everywhere i go this is pretty much what it looks like, just piles and piles of crap circled all around me. can’t help it, i need stuff. traveling gypsy.

down again. I WIN! I BEAT YOU BLOOD PRESSURE TEST!

cid was in time out heaven.

watched the big brother finale last nite. how badly do you want jordan and jeff to have their own reality spin-off show together!!!

Kevin sent you a message.

Subject: BLOGGER

“WHATS SHAKIN? MY WORK PLACE HAS BLOCKED YOUR BLOGGER FOR INDESENT MATERIAL MY RETALIATION WAS ‘I DONT SEE THE PROBLEM,THOSE ARE VERY DESCENT BREASTS'”

who can guess the last time my actual breasts were even on this thing? at least a year ago, longer than a year ago in fact. why does the man want to bring me down?

18 thoughts on “I’m in the middle of your picture

  1. You had no caption for Phil at the Japanese restaurant. How about, “‘Ere, could it be a piece of wasaaaabi what got past me tongue, eh wot?” One of my co-workers ate a whole ball of wasabi the size of half a golf-ball and had no visible effects at all. No shit! I got it all down on video!

  2. that’s Hooper, Big Bird! (haha sorry you made a Sesame Street reference and I had to reply in kind) those windows are rad! where were they?

  3. pierre i have a picture of fil’s wasabi reaction – not for public consumption. a video as well of me but i stupided it up too much. the end is cute though. will do over. did you see on jackass when steve-o snorted wasabi and barfed immediately then did it again, barfed again?

    thelonious it’s on college just east of euclid south side, beside the music store.

  4. holy crap I want some sushi now. also, it’s kind of strange how shoppers drug marts in toronto look the same as they do… everywhere… i’m in regina (unfortunately) and i want to use the blood pressure dealy every time i go in there!

  5. Strangely enough, I just happened to be at the Shoppers a few days ago and decided to take my test too – I even printed out the results:
    Systolic = 116
    Diastolic = 65
    Pulse = 60
    Of course there was no boozin, and very little cruisin involved. I’ll report back the next time I’m out boozin and close to Shoppers.

  6. Holy shit the blood pressure machine always sends my blood pressure to the roof cause all i can think about is that thing getting stuck and pumping my arm until it explodes like a blood filled balloon while I’m sitting there screaming holy shit thanks a lot final destination.

  7. Never mind the still life pics, I first found your blog about 5 years ago when I Googled food. You take some awesome food pics :)

    I like to Google food cravings to obsess about until dinner time! Yes. I know how hopelessly lame that sounds.

    Seriously though you should try it sometime ^_^

  8. FD totally fucked me up in terms of the likelihood of unlikely accidents and is pretty much responsible for launching my entire anxiety disorder

  9. you would be surprised at how poor the selection of mannequins really is. believe it or not, this is the ~most~ realistic proportioned mannequin secrets could get. that’s what sucks.

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