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the whale he roamed the lonely sea

this is the hustle, it looks way better when the whole room is doing it, and to an actual disco song, AND if you leave out the stupid I AM DANCING RIGHT NOW face. my grade seven teacher taught our entire class how to do it we had so much fun we chose to skip last recess to do it more. ha. i fuck up the first sequence of it though, you’re supposed to twirl with your fingers pointed up in the air not roll ‘em like a fucking whatever raffle drum? the raffle drum part comes after the fingers pointed spinning part.

i am happy to announce that in wii fit i have unlocked all of the stamps and the last one is a stamp of my mii character’s face!

last nite we (sass, caitlin, britt) ate at kilgour’s before heading over to steamwhistle – our server was smitten with britt and pumped to be serving a table of chicks, but then everything went to shit, he was overwhelmed by how many inquiries we made (separate bills, waters, a HUGE curly hair implanted in one of britt’s french fries, more mayonnaise etc etc) however i went with the wings so i was solid until i felt a panic attack coming on so i had to have some white wine and part of a chill pill and play head games with myself. panic attacks are so embarrassing, you commonly want your party to see you as aloof and it is such a feat to appear calm and well normal meanwhile you feel like you’re suffocating and the walls are closing in and other stupid metaphors. i know stress is the trigger and i can be fine all day long then blammo once finally out on the move it rears its ugly face. natch whatever, thankfully it didn’t stick around long, i was going to be super pissed if i had to miss out on my wings (you cannot mix food with anxiety, just doesn’t work).

where was i, oh yeah, the service was a little fucked up and i specifically blame britt’s blond hair (compliment) and cute face. next time take-out ok? sass had the platter, she dug it. i really like it when your friend orders something off the menu you’ve never seen before, you get to size it up for next time.

on saturday fil and i are doing charity dodgeball, we did it last year and i am so amped for it cos i’m in better shape (we were sore for a week after playing, it was ridiculous) than i was last year and our outfits will be sexier. we were mr. dodger’s neighbourhood and that was a cute idea in concept but come on, running around in a cardigan sweater is retarded, we just threw them on the benches. this year our team’s theme is oldschool ballerz, so now i have an american apparel knee socks excuse, two pairs too cos fil is going to need them. i’m going to wear short shorts and some kind of tank? bikini top? any ideas? does anyone have bling i can borrow? fil and i were also scooped up first off the bat in the draft, they saw our mad skills, i hope our team is stacked! we came in second place last year it was SO SO close. i am not the best thrower (cos the balls are sponge, it’s like trying to launch a balled up piece of paper and you throw your shoulder out over and over and over again) but i am really fast and agile when it comes to dodging and i have staying power to have another person come back on in after a minute is up of me pulling stupid dance mock dodge poses and smack talk.

lastly, this is how you can apply for my LEOPARD PRINT ONESIES giveaway thank you for voting for me – leave a comment stating that you voted for me, however many times or just that you simply voted, i will collect all these names, write them on a piece of a paper, put them in a hat and film myself drawing TWO NAMES (one onesie each). also type your name first and last as well as nickname if you have one (some of you have the same names).

thanks bro.

71 thoughts on “the whale he roamed the lonely sea”

  3. I went to eat at a moxies once and the waiter came and sat beside me helping me pick what i wanted from the menu. he was young and cute and it made me half nervous and half happy that he’d be quirky enough to do it.

    I voted ** times, twice a day because of having a compy and a lap top and visiting parents and missed one cause of the website crashing. it works out in my head.

    that last photo is just too cute.

  5. ok you don’t have to say the amount of votes you casted i’d rather not know.

    i think sitting down at tables you serve is a gimmick some chain restaurants do, it’s kinda manipulative.

  10. My favorite is when they put their leg up on the extra chair at the table to give you a good look at their balls. That always makes me feel like ordering the spaghetti.

  13. I voted for you because the voices told me to, or maybe it was just you. I think my name is safe from duplicates but if you must, donnafoo will work.

    Keep up the insanity, you’re way entertaining.

  18. i VOTED EVERY SINGLE EFFIN DAY… every time i went to brush my teeth, get dressed, shower, shave, eat, drink, I VOTED..

    disclaimer: i do have a life thank you

  20. Hey Raymi, I was here, and I voted. However, I do not think I’ll look particularly good in a leopard print onesie, so no contest entry for me.

    I used to have bad panic attacks a few years ago. I’ve been able to stop them completely. If you’re ever interested in hearing about how, ask next time we see each other.

  25. Raymi, that’s any restaurant where the manager goes home on Halloween to his state-mandated “No Candy Here” sign on his front door.

    Seriously, you’ve never had to deal with a face full of waiter balls when they’re trying to show you their “casual, relaxed side?”

  26. I voted for you! If I get the Raymi-sized onesie I will wear it, and if I get the Phil-sized onesie I will make a dog bed out of it, or maybe a couch cover or a tablecloth.

  30. Hey Raymi, I only got to vote 3 times for you as I’ve been in the studio designing like mad. But I have a necklace made specifically for you, I will send it soon.

    Jane of “Le Petit Colis”

  31. ohh what a giveaway! we are about to get cats and i want to be able to dress up as a giant cat and freak em out :) is emma assin and zoobuffalo yeah hi it’s me xx

  32. Hi Raymi,

    I voted for you pretty much every day dude. I looked at all the other finalists’ blog and some were okay, most were really lame and I had to admit that yours was the only one that had the it (very entertaining) factor. So yeah, in return for my voting I would love to score a wild onesie.

    p.s. Way to go on your hustle moves!

  38. Hey Raymi,

    I read your blog everyday. I never comment. I am friends with Bunny Mcintosh. I voted for you 3 times. I am obsessed with leopard print and onesies!

    -Rex

  39. I had my first panic attack while doing an on air DJ shift at a radio station in northernbuttfucknowhere alberta. It got so bad, that I couldn’t do a break without sounding like I was crying, mostly because I was looking up the symptoms on the internet…. I actually thought I was having a heart attack.. so what did I do, I left the station running with no announcer, and drove myself to the hospital thinking I was dying. SO EMBARRASSING. Now I get them every so often, and they are annoying… at least I know I am not dying though. I guess what I am trying to say is:

    “What kind of chill pills do you use?”

    oh, and I voted for you, of course.

  40. I voted for you. A lot. Two laptops. And I’d sometimes try and vote too early in the day and be denied- “you last voted in this category less than 24 hours ago” GAH! Anyway, the best man won, and now I plan to spread the Raymi love in a tickle trunk outfit based on a leopard-print onesie on the streets of Calgary, just for you. Photojournal styles.

  47. I voted every day from all of my work and home computers (well, not work computers on the weekend). So that’s like, a zillion votes. I would have voted from my phone, too, but it doesn’t support flash. CURSES! So I guess I should get in on this. SURE BEATS WORKING.

  50. i definitely voted. then my power went out and i got a few days behind on yr blog but i’m commenting now. so so stoked on the best diarist win. if you wanna get rid of a onesie, i’m definitely willing to take it. thanks! (kathleen/machine)

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