oh my

haha

what the shit sometimes you have to take one for the team in order to get the goods

holy abdominals!

these parties are starting up again. i was at one of them as a gogo dancing awesome monster? look.


i am smoking and giving shots wow.

and here i am in grade school (grade 8) as a mail order bride from bratislava:

subject: in the beginning, there was “shit yeah”

dear raymi (do re mi)

i ran an image search for the word “excelsior” to see what kind of lordish shit i could find, and happened upon thine innermost shrine of quebecois hassiandom circa 1983.5.

thank you (a) for the laughter, and (b) for being such a foxy motherfucker. with love from portlandinavia…

the end.

-william

this is the best blog post story

i am about to embark on a magical blogging adventure i am going to meet someone who is a fan of my blog and i will probably eat a sandwich in front of her. which sandwich i dunno, it might even be soup. i don’t think she blogs but she has a myspace. i hope she brings me a present i like presents.

with my bay gift certificate i got a non-stick stir fry pan cos i am an adult now when we went to try and pay for it we went to a desk that looked like a cashier booth and a scraggily lady said THIS NOT A CHECK OUT in a major bitchy voice, she had bitchy hair too and a bitchy face and a bitchy sweater, she was not nice or helpful she did not offer directions to A CHECKOUT so as we walked away i said very loudly WHAT A BITCH i know she heard me. fil then disagreed saying he didn’t think she was bitchy. uh WRONG. then i got in a mini-fight with fil about how i was right. do i need to write another essay post about how only women are capable of detecting CUNTdar and guys are basically blind deaf and dumb to it?

what do you think do you think that woman was a bitch? i was even nice in asking if we could pay there i was JOLLY and polite and i even let my handsome dashing boyfriend walk two steps ahead of me as buffer/offering but she STILL gave a mean toned answer.

I AM RIGHT!!!!

ps i didn’t get new shoes cos the bay only carries ornery unstylish crotchety shit.

can you imagine two raymis? probably more affective than a bo staff, yeesh even my head hurts thinking about it.

last nite we rented idiocracy it has a hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy feel to it, which is good. stoner-type movie, very dumb parts totally intentional. rent it cos no one else is there are 5 copies maybe more at queen video and no one’s taking them, their loss.

speaking of queen, the other day one of the chick’s there gave me major ‘tude cos i was on the fone with samir and just getting off and she’s all CAN I HELP WHO IS NEXT and i put on my breezy-tone all chirpy, she’s still being a bitch anyway, she gave me a dollar extra in change and even though she did not deserve getting it back i said uh wasn’t this suppose to be 3.75? and she goes YES still giving attitude i go well you gave me 4.75 here and give her the loonie and then she gets all OH OH OH thank you all of a sudden she is nice and you can tell she is embarrassed cos i busted her on her bitchy while i came out the hero, the BIGGER. she cashed us last nite too and fil made a little joke and neither of us laughed at it. when we got out fil sid uh neither of you laughed at my “NOOOOOO” when she said we had a late-fee then i said well it’s cos she has no fucking soul.

you’d think she would let the late-fee go seeing as i gave her that dollar back.

i think those movie peeps pocket a dollar for every late fee turned in. i fucking would!

i have to write a scathing email to some fuck who reviewed the newest badly drawn boy album, i bought it on sunday and before i could listen to it i had to run back to the closing music store banged on the gate to let me in to give me back the $7+ bucks they overcharged (the reduced price sticker was on the back) and it was still pretty expensive anyway i run back to the car pop it in and it is pure fucking crap, i may as well have purchased a lullabye cd. ungh. i got fil to read the review and he said well actually this review is pretty bad and i snapped WELL IT WORKED ON ME NOT MY FAULT. compared to all the other reviews it seemed the best.

i hate my life.

if there are any hardcore BDB fans lemme know you can buy it off me. it isn’t complete shit there is some good to it it’s just not what i had expected is all.

**re-read this amazing review on laist!