me doing what i do all the time. i like machines. beep.

this is jetfuel in Toronto. i tried to find myself a boyfriend or girlfriend here, every goddamn day for 6 months. and nothing. no one talked to me. it sucked. then i realized that lesbians and fags go there – lesbians hate girls who like dicks (me). fags hate people with vaginas (also me).

i think i was the last girl to develop tits in skool. what made matters worse was my best friend rena had the biggest boobs. our seating arrangement consisted of four desks in grade 5, rena, me, steve and jonathan. one day they suggested me and rena measure how much our boobs stuck out by taking a ruler and dragging it down our chest to see how far out it would protrude as it went past our chests. welp, rena’s boinked out quite a bit and mine wouldn’t at all. i felt like a big flat loser. i use to walk with my ribcage and chest sticking out as much as possible, i was also heavily taking jazz/ballet classes so i think that factored some flatness and hyper-extended backness. well, rena is now at least 50 pounds overweight, has a moustache and smells like stinky chinese cooking all the time whereas i am skinny and hot and everyone loves me and my boobs will never ever sag.