the old navy pants bought weeks ago that made me look like your mom, i made into shorts.

kirsty and i go way back, on the internet, here is a chat we just had. after i hit publish i’ma unearth an older chat we had, don’t worry, these chats are incredibly long winded and pointless.

oh and before we begin here is kirsty and her tits

Kirsty: my eyes are burning

me: why

Kirsty: bored

me: the cat is on me

Kirsty: blog fever?

me: i want to get up and make eggs but this cat is gaying it up in my lap

Kirsty: i am so jealous of your relationship with your cat

me: ha
i wish the camera wasnt across the room

Kirsty: i once smoked so much weed i thought my cat fancied me. things were never the same after

me: its difficult to type
oh i can relate to that

Kirsty: yeah the relationship is so intense!

me: like why are they always posing so sexy
ha

Kirsty: all that blinking!
and looking deeply into your eyes
wow

me: no kidding
they totally know what theyre doing
i dont buy that innocent small brain shit

Kirsty: noooo. they are masters of the wavelength

me: like right now hes pretending to be playing with the ipod earphones cord but really he is trying to cop a feel
and meaningfully pet my hair

Kirsty: hahaha

me: im like, youre not my type i like skinny cats only
wow i need a life

Kirsty: get him to pour you a carafe of wine

me: yeah i wish lazy mooch

Kirsty: he is fat…like mephs
with a tiny pea head

me: and when im masturbating as IF he isnt looking

Kirsty: hahaha

me: his head is really small

Kirsty: i came 8 times in a row the other day
i had to stop myself blogging it
im glad i didnt

me: HAHAHAHHAHA
well im going to blog this
too funny

Kirsty: noooo fuck off!

me: aw!
what if i put it at 88 times

Kirsty: my friends read your blog too

me: so they will high five u then

Kirsty: actually you may
its fine if they found out through someone else
i just dont want to brag

me: i had to stop myself bragging to everyone in gr 8 the day after i figured out how to successfully get off
i should have put that into my valedictorian speech

Kirsty: its so addictive
hahaaah

me: i was like these guys are losers i bet no one in this room has ever had an orgasm, stupid grade 8s

Kirsty: since i put that picture of half my breasts up my men friends are behaving strangely

me: oh they view you as an actual woman now

Kirsty: hahaha
i wish they wouldnt

me: i took a bunch of nudies of myself
i only do it when i feel skinny

Kirsty: i love your pics

me: they look pretty trashy
thanks!

Kirsty: theyre ace
the new york ones
woooow

me: new york ones?

Kirsty: yeah youre at the kitchen sink
soooo cool

me: black n whites?

Kirsty: yeah

me: oh yeah
thanks!
i was 19 then

Kirsty: i know. seriously i have read your blog since it started.
lol its so funny
because blogs were…..so embryonic
like…wow…this girl is going to let me look at her life, every day?
wicked
needless to say i had no job

me: yea we go way back

Kirsty: i liked your hair when it was that funny peach colour and you flicked it up at the ends

me: i remember chatting to you on msn in 2004 baked out of my mind
malibu kirsty

Kirsty: oh hai

me: oh pagoda head
i should relink the chat i blogged way back when

Kirsty: i just loved your style. loved the dyke haircut and the suits. loved the gasmask. loved the massive balls youve always had.
ive been so busy complimenting you ive missed my train

me: aw no sorry that there is so much to compliment

Kirsty: hahaha

me: where were you headed

Kirsty: its so interesting…you know…anthropologically apart from anything else… you really were one of the first to get on this thing
oh im going home. im at work right now.

me: yeah im a pioneer village
i should have a lifetime achievement award
but not from those gay bloggie awards
from someone else
like you

Kirsty: well i gots to go…tell the world i had 8 orgasms yeah. you should…but you have looooads more to do! i reckon you have loads more to offer…i am completely interested to see where you go.
oh i will definitely be there til the bitter end, and i would love to present you with a lifetime achievemnt award!!

me: yes there is more yet unfortunately
aw!
have a fun nite

Kirsty: i have this singing audition thing to do tomorrow

me: say hi to ikea

Kirsty: i am fucking scaaaared
LOL
IKEA

me: oh yeah i read about that on your blog
did you tell him thats what i call him (ilkka?)

Kirsty: how come i never thought of that!!!!

me: i have only said it to you 3454893563 times

Kirsty: im calling him that. normally i call him EFL (English as a Foreign Language)

me: ha

Kirsty: Ikea that is brilliant

me: merry christmas

Kirsty: hey have you seen Battle for Haditha?

me: no

Kirsty: if you see one film this year…. make it Penelope
If you see TWO films this year
watch Battle for Haditha

me: ok noted

Kirsty: (dont watch Penelope it was the worst thing i could think of…but its so bad probably no-one has heard of it except for me) Battle of Haditha is…exceptional
ok bye raymi..love you! xxx take care

me: byebye XO
see you on my blog!

Kirsty: i feel embarrassed. you might think i am in love with you and a mental patient
do you know what i wish?

me: dont feel embarrassed
what do you wish
im going to blog your boobs

Kirsty: that we could hang out. it would be FUN i know it
it hurts my feelings you’re millions of years away and i will always be a madwoman at the end of a messenger service

me: well one day we can hang

Kirsty: yeah!
you think you’ll come to london sometime?

me: yes!

Kirsty: i would love to buy you a whisky
in fact i would love to share a bottle of the shit

me: i would love you to buy me a whisky too

Kirsty: and put the world to rights

me: yes that too

Kirsty: it would be hilarious
cool, well i’ll look forward to that then and be extra careful when crossing the road

me: i also want to go back to that pub in knightsbridge and re-visit that terrible sandwich

Kirsty: oh fuck that

me: and see if the dude who gave me ketamine still bartends there
ungh

Kirsty: mmm ketamine
i just would like someone to tell me
why i ever took ketamine more than once
why the first incident of losing all my marbles was not a clear indication that it really was not the drug for me. and the fact my friend had to repeatedly sing the chorus of ”youve got a fast car” by tracey chapman so i wouldnt completely lose touch with all reality
i know. what a song.

me: the first time i did it it was like drinking a 2-4
in canada a 24 case of beer is called a two four

Kirsty: cool

me: anyway the second time the day after i got out of bed my legs were paralyzed
for 2 mins
i fell to the floor
see in bruges theres loads of drug scenes, v funny
a midget
on k

Kirsty: bruges brussels?

me: the movie

Kirsty: oh

me: its in belgium

Kirsty: hahaha i meant belgium when i said brussels
my achilles heel. geography. until recently i thought saudi arabia was a continent.

me: dont get me started on geography

Kirsty: you love it? hate it?
im literally the worst at it
in the world
ever
part ii

me: fil was shocked i knew what rio de janeiro was

Kirsty: hahahaaaa
in 5’8 club we are shit at geography. actually harrys pretty good.
my friend was talking to me about her trip to istanbul…i was like..”you went to istanbul?”
she said ”yeah! in november, remember?!”
i said ”i thought you went to turkey?!?!”

me: hahahahahha

Kirsty: (istanbul is the capital of turkey)
as you clearly know.
hahaha

me: well i was pretending i knew just then

Kirsty: hahaha
oh i am having a fab time. but i have to go home to ikea now
see you in the v.i.p member of our respective blogs

here is a reunion chat from 2006 with kirsty, now i will try and dig up the older ones.