coolness waste of time update:

i have a trillion red dye stains all over my back, shoulders and arms and forehead and my tits are literally sweating cos i have a plastic bag on my head to make the shit happen quicker and it’s made my body temperature skyrocket. i could die!

i got bored so i bought some hairdye and i am waiting for the colour to process as i type this and i got dye all over the bathroom rug, bloody red dye. oh well.

Jeffrey says:

here are camera phone pictures

Jeffrey says:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jackfalcon/

Jeffrey says:

I am eating grape nutz

Jeffrey says:

and drinking apple juice because I am 8

Jeffrey says:

some interview this is

raymi says:

i just went to make a drink

raymi says:

sprite and jager because i am your drunk aunt

Jeffrey says:

figures you decide to have an interview and then fall asleep

Jeffrey says:

whats up Jager

raymi says:

you have a camera fone, amazing

raymi says:

hello kitty new york !!!!!!!!!!!

raymi says:

wow she has bodyguards?

Jeffrey says:

I took those for you

Jeffrey says:

and sent them to your phone

Jeffrey says:

totally had bodyguards

raymi says:

i dont have a camerafone because i am dying

raymi says:

were people allowed to hug her

Jeffrey says:

yes of course

Jeffrey says:

but you probably would have got in trouble if you started crying and shit

raymi says:

probably

Jeffrey says:

Yeah, I saw that and I was like “WOAH”

raymi says:

it would have made everyone uncomfortable

Jeffrey says:

right

Jeffrey says:

bummed out kids

raymi says:

lets talk shit about your friends

Jeffrey says:

lets talk shit about your universe

raymi says:

fine

Jeffrey says:

my friends are all gay black jews, there’s not much more to be said

raymi says:

they rule

raymi says:

thats my new blog title

Jeffrey says:

yeah, Borlin was like “every now and then I get a weird sort of insulting email form her, even though I never even met her”

Jeffrey says:

OH

raymi says:

borlin

Jeffrey says:

I went to see Natasha last night

raymi says:

OH!!

raymi says:

did you swoon

Jeffrey says:

BUT because I am fucked up, I missed her set

raymi says:

oh

raymi says:

well did u meet her

Jeffrey says:

and I was pretty sure it was her out front talking withe everyone with a big keyboard thing

Jeffrey says:

and I was covered in sweat and she was all dressed up and talking with white people about “the performancs” ao I didn’t interrupt

Jeffrey says:

and then ran away

raymi says:

the performancs?

Jeffrey says:

the performance

raymi says:

well u should have at least picked up her cd

Jeffrey says:

I ain’t buying shit

Jeffrey says:

I mean, sure, I’ll check it out

raymi says:

its beautiful music

Jeffrey says:

is she shorter than you

raymi says:

same height

Jeffrey says:

kinda looks hispanic or something

raymi says:

uh no she has blond hair

Jeffrey says:

oh well it wasn’t her

Jeffrey says:

oops, she was playing when I walked by then

Jeffrey says:

hah

raymi says:

you are soooo lame

Jeffrey says:

whatever

raymi says:

good

Jeffrey says:

fine

Jeffrey says:

well she was hot

raymi says:

she totally is

Jeffrey says:

I don’t know what her music sounds like

raymi says:

it sounds like poetry and screaming and shit to dump your boyfriend to

Jeffrey says:

nice

Jeffrey says:

I would not expect that at all

Jeffrey says:

it looked like some boring angry bad piano playing lesbian shit

Jeffrey says:

oh wait, those are the same thing

Jeffrey says:

neahht

raymi says:

nice one

Jeffrey says:

thanks

raymi says:

im putting this on my blog

shit-ass haiku time

bottom of the pool
coma three feet deep water
drinking a mai tai
*

gun metal grey dreams
in the back of a semi
truck driver blowjobs
*

eating grape jell-o
lickin’ blow of a stripper
this life i tell you
*

the naked sleep here
amongst gravestones and torches
one two three four five
*

i hate your mother
i had sex with your father
and then i killed him
*

i went to japan
and i got a dumb haircut
and a pink poodle
*

when the cat meows
i meow right back at him
and then i starve him
*

this is what isabel had to say

so hi.

i suppose i could have left you a comment telling you i enjoyed your book,
because i don’t make it a habit to email total strangers and i feel
creeptacular doing so, (clearly you are used to it, so that makes it a
little easier).. but i wanted to tell just you, not the world.

i am a hair band.

fil and i walked to the lake and saw a dead duck and this humane society guy picked it up and put it in a bag and then i was picking at my ass and not looking where we were headed and when i looked up we were cornered by all these crazy motherfucker geese who were hissing and spitting and i had an anxiety attack then my mum showed up and told us this crazy story about my cousin and then fil and i got crazy phallic popsicles and ate them on the street and we were looking at these young chicks and fil said aloud how old do you think those little sluts are? and i said why don’t i go up and ask them and say HEY LITTLE SLUTS HOW OLD ARE YOU BECAUSE MY 30 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND WANTS TO KNOW.

then we went inside to finish our penis popsicles.

i will finally admit now that when people are talking, i am not listening. i mean, in the beginning i am listening but once what i am hearing turns into boring i am nodding my head saying yep yup yep and i am actually quite good at looking like i am listening to every goddamn word but really i am not. don’t be insulted if we’ve had a meaningful conversation before because i’m not NOT listening all of the time. just sometimes. when i am drunk mostly. which is pretty much all of the time. so there.