some people never go crazy. me, sometimes I’ll lie down behind the couch for 3 or 4 days. they’ll find me there. it’s Cherub, they’ll say, and they pour wine down my throat rub my chest sprinkle me with oils. then, I’ll rise with a roar, rant, rage - curse them and the universe as I send them scattering over the lawn. I’ll feel much better, sit down to toast and eggs, hum a little tune, suddenly become as lovable as a pink overfed whale. some people never go crazy. what truly horrible lives they must lead.
ok well i think that i’ve done all my chores and obligations for today so now i’m going to hit that left over wine and watch closer and pretend that i am witty like clive owen. oh and i am also having a good hair day today.
and all the tattoo girls at the coffeeshop hate me because they are three feet tall and i am an amazon and i always pay in nickels and dimes and i always ALWAYS always look fucked up. and they all have crushes on fil and i am his evil witch girlfriend.
“I write for TNPS, Maxim, and SNAG magazine as a columnist. I also give talks about blogging, because someone killed the oldest blogger and made me the ultimate expert. You can invite me to events as media, and if I liked it I will blog it! Tempt me with the latest products and invite me to the greatest parties!!”
raymi says:
i didnt know she wrote for maxim
Jamie says:
she can barely speak english
raymi:
i speak english and i don’t write for maxim
Jamie says:
her writing is lame
Jamie says:
how the hell does she write for anybody??
Jamie says:
“I feel very poor thing coz I haven’t eaten the whole day!! And there is nothing at home to eat except Maggi Mee, which, believe it or not, I feel too lazy too cook.”
Jamie says:
genius
raymi says:
i know
raymi says:
fuck
Jamie says:
maybe she writes for Maxim-China or something
Jamie says:
that’s the kind of garbage that makes me embarrassed to have a blog
raymi says:
i dont understand half the shit she is talking about
