i have to go get more crazy pills today. i’m gonna ask for a 6 month script so i don’t have to keep going every three months and then when i notice that i am running out i won’t have week-long insomnia over it. maybe i should increase my miligrams cos i think it’s to the point where they’re just a pill that i take everyday otherwise i get severe shakes, nothing is actually happening in the anti-depression department though i am afraid i might go bonkers again if i increase the dosage. so it’s either go bonkers or stay in the middle of happy and sad.
me and aimee are watching hotel rwanda, i’ve already seen it so it’s like i am the expert although this hutu tutsi thing gets confusing cos we’re trying to half a half-wit conversation about it but aimee just started effexor so it’s like retard suicidal anxiety pillhead talking to someone who can only see the color grey in the world right now about a great big fucking injustice such as rwanda. did that make sense?
anyway i don’t want a great big pill discussion in the comments.
Dear Raymi, I care about you and I’m not even religious. Being a drunk is all right. Being fond of yourself, while disliking yourself at the same time is also all right.
Don’t worry – you’re fine.
Now I have a friend who spent all his youth lifting weights. He didn’t go to parties with us, had to stick to a special diet, couldn’t ever hang out, and first and foremost, he had to practice. Lifting weights every single day. It took him seven years of abstinence, isolation and sweating, but he got to go to the Olympics. The week before he was flying to Australia (in 2000) to compete, he crashed his car and had to have his mangled left arm amputated. He wasn’t all right after that.
Sometimes it’s all right to have a mellow attitude towards ambition.
band practise tonite and my throat is fucked. i started coughing out of nowhere and coughed my throat sore. i’m gonna see if there’s any syrup to hallucinate on. i was spying through the peephole at the new sketchbag down the hall and he coughed and perhaps that’s what triggered a coughing spasm of my own. the other nite some guy was honking like mental in front of the building and then screaming sketchbag’s name at the top of his lungs in the alley. good times.
i just watched all the real girls and was worried i would be thoroughly depressed upon it being over but it ended ok so i feel fine.
since finishing my book i feel kind of deflated like i don’t know what to do with myself now, i’m suppose to be working on a script, a movie about a character named raymi, no matter how hard i try i always end up having to write about myself or of a character that is like me, i don’t know what i’m saying well, after awhile it makes me feel like i am the only person in the world that there is to write about and i know that sounds pretty vain and whatever, shut up.
you can never outrun yourself i guess.
i kind of feel like quitting blogging for awhile ‘cos i feel like there is nothing left to say and people are worried about my drinking and that’s what i write about every other day anyhow, i’m slowly weaning off it and i’ve discovered now that i have insomnia which really sucks.
meet sabrina. she has massive fuckin’ tits so i asked her about them.
1. how old were you when your tits started growing, how did it affect you in school, were you popular cos of it, ashamed?
I was in 5th grade which means I was like 10 years old. I went from an A cup to a B cup relatively quick. It didn’t really effect me in any way that I can conceive. I used to beat a lot of people up. I wouldn’t call myself a bully as much as a pain in the ass. I used to sit in class and take off my bra while Mrs. Colquitt, the dumb fucking whore, was teaching. I sat in the back of the room with the bad boys. I would take my bra off and put it in my back pack. No one ever noticed, if they did they never said anything because I would probably pound the hell out of them. In a non-sexual way, of course. Later on a dragon flew out of my mouth and I gained the gift of AWESOME from an Orchid that I had to put my finger in. That is symbolic for like putting your finger in a vagina. My vagina. Put your finger in my fucking vagina. Thanks.
2. what is your actual breast size?
My actual breast size is kinda unknown. I wear a 38 dd bra. I wear it because a ddd is too lame to find, and when you do find it the bras all look like a fat ugly grandma should be wearing them.
3. does your back hurt?
I broke my neck when I was 19 my body got mangled in a car accident. My back always hurts. I can’t actually blame it on my teets, but I bet they do not help a bad situation get worse.
4. have you considered breast reduction?
I have considered a breast reduction, but then I also considered how fucking ugly those scars are and my breasts are far too awesome to mangle with a goddamn spear, or knife or pair of scissors or whatever the fuck they would use. I have nice boobs, they are aesthetically correct and look nice when I am naked. The nipples are not too big or too ugly. They are pierced. They can shoot an automatic weapon. They have had sex with your mom. And they know kung-fu. Seriously, why would I want to hack them up when they are that AWESOME?
5. how do you feel about having big boobs? love it, hate it?
It’s not that I have big boobs. It’s that I have the biggest boobs in a 2000 mile radius. Everyone has a comment to make about them, and they always act like it is so fucking original. I stab these people in the eye. On Tuesdays I carry a bear trap in between my giant flops of skin. One time I was in my friend’s car and we were drinking Jack Daniels(tm) in the back seat. The driver got pulled over and I hid the entire 40oz in between my boobies. Just shoved the mother fucker right down in between there. He did not have to pass go, or collect two hundred dollars. I could probably smuggle a glock into an elementary school that way. So far I have avoided jail time. If you are not impressed by now I hope you turn into a fucking hermaphrodite.
6. what do you do when drunk losers say stupid shit to you in bars about your tits or whatever else, how do u handle it, does it get on your nerves?
There will always be drunk losers at bars. There will always be Sabrina at bars. That is how it works at bars. Usually, they try to talk to me and I tell them things like I just ate a baby or I only have sex with small Chinese boys named Chuck Norris. This usually keeps them at bay. If they persist it means they are going to get pounded by myself or one of my friends. Usually, I am too drunk to care that anyone could be making a comment about my glorious titties. My sister says that I cannot call my boobs titties because they are too big to be titties. Titties are for cute smallish boobies and not massive, zip-locked bags of fat stapled to my chest. We love her dearly because she can shoot the apple off the head of a midget with acute accuracy after doing 21 shots of Tuaca(tm). Sometimes at bars I put my drink in between my breasts so I can sneak drinks outside. I am a sneaker like that. Sometimes I pretend I am Mariah Carey and let homeless dudes suck on them. Ok, I don’t, but Mariah Carey does. I swear.
7. any funny stories to share, embarassing stories. have you ever totally lost it on someone?
I have lost it on a lot of people. I mean, I am volatile. I am Sicilian. I am crazy. And on top of it all I have a pair of the most gigant knockers one can purchase for the mere price of your human soul. Many a man has sold his soul to me in exchange for a simple glance of the AWESOME. My sister used to punch me in them and scream, I am giving you a tumor! I am currently waiting for said tumor. When I get it, I will have my sister roundhouse kick the shit out of it until it goes away. Friday, I was at the Standard Downtown in Los Angeles and some lesbo kept rubbing my ass while I was trying to pass out in the waterbed pods. When she would not lay off I ordered another drink. She followed me and grabbed my teet. Had she not looked like my friend’s dad in the face it might have been a nice memory. But she was ugly like a piece of poop. So I told her, You are ugly like poop. Then I threw back my shot of Jager and spit on her. Ok, I didn’t spit on her, but I threw back that shot of Jager because I am a pro like that.
8. are your friends jealous?
I don’t have too many female friends because womens are lame. Gia and Christen are my day-to-day chick friends. Gia is my sister and she has biggish boobs. Not as big as mine though. Christen has biggish titties also. Apparently, we scare off the flat chested, it’s a shame really. My duder friends do not seem to mind my tits. They call me Big Boobs McGee I get a lot of free drinks. Not because of my stellar personality or my tenacious wit, but because of my boobs. This is why I am a drunk.
9. do you get approached often?
Yes.
10. if you could have small breasts for a year would you do it?
I like little titties. I guess I could try it for a year. Why not? If it was really horrible I could just kill myself. Right?
Also, you might want to add that I plan to make my breast internet lore kinda like brian peppers and that fag that dresses up like peter pan.
