Larry lives two floors above us with his parents in our condo building. We met him in the elevator our fist day moving in this past December. His parent’s condo is twice the size of ours, they have half the entire floor. They are loaded. Larry does nothing. He is an only child and has absolutely zero plans to move out on his own.
Larry dresses like he is homeless and he never shaves or brushes his hair. He’s one of those dudes who thinks if people know he comes from wealth that they will use and take advantage of him and therefore spends his days “testing” girls, it is utterly annoying and entertaining.
Me and Sam are his friends and Larry put us through one of his “tests” back in January, we both passed, according to Larry’s standards.
Sam’s test was inviting Larry to a fancy work thing and Larry got retardedly wasted, fully embarrassing Sam and Sam still drove Larry the next day to pick his car up from the airport.
I passed Larry’s test by telling him to fuck off when he tried to get me to admit that I only was friends with him for his money and out of geographical convenience and then I didn’t speak to him for two weeks and he thought that was “really cool of me” to not fall for his shit.
Since then Larry and I hang out pretty much every afternoon during the week.
Larry is 35 years old and he has a tiny dog that looks like Toto, but tinier still, and his dog is named Carl, for irony Larry says.
it’s walking through hot soup season in toronto aka check on the old people you know, my favorite. lise brought me earrings yesterday and my ears aren’t pierced and purple lightning bolt tattoos, later on i drunk gave away the tattoos to the bouncer/manager of a pub and he’s all ONLY ONE SONG TONITE?! so now i don’t have any tattoos and i have earrings i can’t wear. i might get them pierced. should i?
the karaoke guy is getting on my nerves, part of his introducing me to everyone speech is explaining how crazy i am because i scream at people if they are speaking loudly during my song which is understandable right? anyway i don’t do it all the time and even if i did that doesn’t make me crazy it makes me angry. so i called him out on his scooter/motorcycle and said WHATEVER GUY WHO HAS A SCOOTER POSING AS A MOTORCYCLE cos it’s one of those whatever the front looks motorcycle-like the rest is all pussy scooter that i can pick up with one hand and give to my grandma.
next week i will target his haircut.
oh i sang wow what did i sing oh right don’t tell me, madonna, and i was awesome and a blog fan guy took my picture with a throw away camera so there’s extra awesome points.
i wish you could hear the fake telephone conversation between howie mandel and that other dude on the deal or no deal show I LOVE THAT SHOW!
oh yeah i forgot that when i dissed the karaoke guy over the mic one of the bar waitresses put her hands over her head and clapped and laughed and cheered!
haha no kidding i was almost getting really mad at you ha
kali: hahahahaha
me:
and fil cos we were chatting and then nothing and then i got extremely jealous of your pictures and i couldnt figure it out and music was blaring
kali:
you’re very needy heh he has one too i guess
me:
;ewigoh 43oitqh43[t8hre g no im not needy
kali:
my boss was here and you were boinking all over the screen
me:
needy has nothing to do with it
kali:
hahahahah
me:
oops sorry
kali:
no biggie it was just funny boink boink raymi needs you
me:
stop dissing me when u talk to me its annoying
kali:
BOINK
me:
ungh
kali:
k sorry
mostly i’m kidding also you’re talking to me
me:
u can turn the boink sound off
kali:
awesome
me:
what do u mean also yer talking to me
kali:
i mean you boinked first
me:
so it doesnt mean u have to be mean raaaaaaaaaah
kali:
no it doesn’t k bye
me:
are we in a fight
kali:
yes
me:
no we arent
kali:
yes we are
me:
i boinked you sassed
kali:
ya but i’ve been mad you just didn’t even notice
me:
“kali: no biggie it was just funny”
kali:
i mean befor TODAY duh
me:
dude you say mad shit to me all the time
kali:
you called me callous and bitter
me:
and i let it slide
kali:
you don’t accept me for what i am
me:
cos you are always being bitter and callous in my comments towards me for no reason you insult me in every comment you make to me and i finally called you on it
kali:
i insult everybody its my HUMOR
me:
well i dont find it funny
kali:
then we are in a fight
me:
there’s funny and then there is nasty its not my doing
kali:
yes apparently you can’t tell the difference
me:
im not the only one who thinks this way
kali:
ok
me:
it doesnt matter
kali:
then i am in a fight with them too
me:
haha
kali:
VERYONE BLAH ARGH RAWR
me:
if yer gonna be funny, be funny then thats all
kali:
ok thanks
me:
u just come across as disagreeable look u dont have to be all “oh thanks”
kali:
i said ok thanks
me:
well tone oh nevermind
kali:
i was trying to be nondisagreeable you CANT HEAR TONE ON CHAT@!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jesus
me:
you can from some people who usually TALK WITH TONE ie you and me
kali:
ok we’re broken up — meaning: the time where i talk to you and act like you’re VERY cool even though sometimes i think you are a brat is OVER
me:
oh well thanks for doing me that grand favor of talking to me whilst compromising your ethics kali thank you. so. much.
me:
wow i just reread that you’re a total bitch
kali:
you made me mad
me:
yeh well yer nasty unjustifiably
kali:
i meant it to be nasty
me:
yeh well it’s kind of pathetic “i said ok thanks” wtf
kali:
yes it is patheric pathetic totally
me:
omg u already removed me from yer blogroll hahahaa
kali:
i’m good
me:
oh my god that makes you good?
kali:
i told you we were broken up —
me:
wow thats very uh, small
kali:
ok no one goes to your site from mine anyway silly except me
me:
thats not the point and you know it
kali:
ya i did it for effectr and i’m small you’re right about that
me:
well take fil down too
kali:
but see i think it’s funny no i did that on purpose too
me:
yeh it is funny he doesnt blog anymore
kali:
i see that
me:
hes also read all of our convo
kali:
ok
me:
u can keep him up it doesnt matter he never liked being called raymis bitch anyway
kali:
i know i only did it cuz of pitts bitch it wasn’t personal anyway
me:
yeh well we are different
kali:
you guys don’t get me wah
me:
ahahah yeh you are sooooooo misunderstood
kali:
i know
me:
very complex
kali:
seriously now we’re getting somewhere
me:
why do u think i am a brat
kali:
ok i want to choose my words carefully because i would like you not to get upset but you know you are a brat, right? i mean it’s kind of your “thing” and i thought it was funny and i was playing along…
me:
being a brat and having it as a thing? no not really well maybe yer delusional cos there was no reason to be playing along
kali:
ok then maybe we just don’t get along ok perhaps i am
me:
and also you dont need to project your inability to get along with others as ME being the brat here
kali:
i do get along with others just not you and whomever else you talk to that feels similarly i certainly don’t get along with everybody
me:
well u seem to take a big interest in not getting along with me
kali:
i like to fight it’s fun and yes i do find that i care a little too much what you think about me
me:
well thats awesome that yer getting paid to fight with some girl on the internet who doesnt “get you”
kali:
you in particular i know it’s shameful
me:
i like how older bitches think they can say things like brat to me and feel like they totally zinged me
kali:
i do it because i’m a total brat
me:
anyway no harm no foul just stop being a cunt
kali:
i’m the one with the t-shirt, theoretically but i enjoy being a cunt… it’s my personality
me: well thats sad
kali:
that’s what i need a “cunt” tishirt !
me:
oh my god thats so not funny it might be funny
kali:
sorry i was so nasty anyway it was uncalled for
me:
its ok it was amusing for like ten minutes
kali:
ya my face got red rawr
me:
ha so do i take down your link now
kali:
if you want… i’ saved yours so i’m putting it bak up now
me: ok i want to post this maybe another day
kali:
oh jeez
me:
haha SEE
kali:
ok maybe you’ll change your mind
me:
not so humorous now that you’d be outed eh
kali:
heh
me:
exactly people are mean up until someone is looking
kali:
nah i’d secretly like it if you posted it and you must know that
me:
why i would be humiliated
people like it when i make them look stupid on my blog?
kali:
the difference is perception
me:
hmm
kali:
and anyway infamy is just as good as fame
me:
well i think people would perceive that i am in the right
kali:
speaking w/in the parameters of blogdon yes you woulds and i….
me:
haa its too long to sift thru people would just i dunno i figure my blog affects peoples moods so then therell be all these people calling each other out on their shit
