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August 17, 2006

suicide countdown

is it real? save her? she should be reading postsecret.com – she’s gonna do it saturday newsflash get your ads on her site now!!!!

anyway, yawn. like go get some help already i am NOT watching your suicide over saturday afternoon television or driving in the country hey ever heard of CHOOSING LIFE? no? ok have a nice dirtnap.



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WHAT DOES PEEING DONUTS MEAN SHH SHARPIE DON’T TELL!



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dear everyone in a mall who thinks they just came from importantsville FUCK YOU AND DIE.

i’m waiting in line at h&m at yorkville mall yesterday to buy this dress that looks like an apron and a new bag and these two bitches in front are leisurely chatting up the cashier with infinity tattoos on her arms. they’re mulling over which bags to buy with the cashier and i’m standing there like a lone turd while three other h&mers are busy pretending to sort hangers and NOT CASHING ME THROUGH so lise comes over and i am like there are three other people here not working and look at the two available tils i’m going to just stand by an empty one and start screaming but then one realised how grossly lazy she was and cashed me out.

now, lise and i are going down the escalator and the chick with the five hundred bags she couldn’t decide upon WHO SHOULD DECIDE WHAT SHE WANTS BEFORE GOING TO THE CASHIER, who also appeared to have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO CHAT this fugly bitch comes up behind us on the escalator and goes EXCUUUUUUSE ME! so we part and then i see that it’s HER and i FUCKING LOSE IT.

i say to lise THIS BITCH held ME up in line for five minutes and now all of a sudden she is in a fucking hurry? i said it all really loud and i know she heard me cos when she made her turn at the ground floor she looked at me and i was still talking S big time and giving her cut-eye and her face was a big question mark, she couldn’t figure out what she did wrong.

READ MY BLOG AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID WRONG FRIZZHEAD.

hi i have five hours to discuss shitty h&m leathers but once i buy them LOOK OUT WORLD GET OUT OF MY WAY ESPECIALLY THE GIRL I MADE WAIT THE LONGEST MOOOOOVE EXCUSE ME!

wow.

anyway.

oh and THEN in another store i’m walking in one direction and there is ample room around me to get by and this older chick goes EXCUUUUSE ME and i’m like YEAH WHATEVER then of course lose it again.

why do you need to announce to the world that you need to get by just fucking GET BY or push me fuck i do it all the time just do it and shut up i didn’t wake up this morning to go to a mall to shop in a store to be standing in YOUR way also you yelled excuse me at me before you were anywhere near me like EXCUSE ME I WILL BE NEEDING TO PASS YOU IN 5 SECONDS JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS UP.

fuck i hate everyone.



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Dear Raymi

I’m an ex-employee for a spa in the mountains of BC.
I quit leaving them 2 days to figure out their sceduale and get some other workhorse in to replace me. I didn’t legally owe them any notice, And after I got over the guilt of maybe leaving them stranded I was ready to go. My time is important, Sitting picking at the feet of oil wives from Calgary who say “my beamer” 3 times per second, and talk about their husbands golfing and the realestate market bringing their summer home to 2 mil is not how I wanted to spend my summer. I said fuck you to the pretentiousness of giving your 6 year old her 3rd pedicure and left. It’s been a month. After calling again this morning and getting the “I’m really busy right now, i’ll call you back. Click” again I started to go mental. I wan’t my fucking check. Now. It’s well past the ok you screwed me, i’ll screw you game.

What would be the funny thing to do?

Bronwyn

by the way i’ve been reading your blog for a few years whatever,you know, I love you blah blah blah anyway i’m starting up a clothing line inspired by women like you and like me, and when I have my shit together i’m going to ask you to do a shoot. Just so you know.

thanks for making me laugh.



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August 16, 2006

dear lindsay

hey my name is raymi and i am 23 from toronto, canada. i have been a fan of yours since that parent trap movie you did. ok i’m lying, i mean i wasn’t a fan per se i just knew about it and i think i saw it on the family channel and was like that girl has a lot of freckles and orange hair and she has a funny laugh. ok so i think you should be my friend because i am the ruler of the internet which means i can make you look smarter and write about all of our adventures on my blog and basically i can be your nicole richie except i PROMISE i won’t get skinnier than you and take away your attention. uh, we can get “heat exhaustion” together any day of the week also my boyfriend is very good looking and somehow you could benefit from that. ps. i am very funny.

here is my blog: http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com

love raymi



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dear raymi

Has anyone ever told you that you look like Lydia Lunch, circa 1985?

By the way, I’m from Georgia and I think I’m in love with you.



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i’m watching what not to wear right now with lise. i like how 99% of the women they makeover all wear big stupid glasses and have floppy hair and all the stylists have to do is take out the ponytail and send her to lasic eye treatment and she’s done.

i think we are going to feed chipmunks now.



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August 15, 2006

dear ingrown hair/s

how would you feel if i moved inside of you like brought all my stuff and then just stayed there unannounced for a few days and then curled up into the fetal position and dug my hands into your thighs and grew like ten feet longer with puss all around me until you had to extract me with a dental pick?

just wondering what your thoughts might be concerning that possibility.

yours, raymi



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