look it’s me and christie, you know christie of the now-defunct allthingschristie brand, and did you also know she started the bestweekever blog? and she left her own party to play trivia ntn at a pub? and then my dick exploded? and then we had a no you’re prettier no YOU’RE prettier conversation and i snapped at a girl to give up flirting with my boyfriend because HE IS MY BOYFRIEND. more on that later. i was pretty on the money all nite long with handing out burns, the one that got the best laugh was when this european photographer guy came to the top of the back building stairs and started air guitaring and rocking out and i said oh what’s that air guitaring? oh hey that’s NEW. my delivery was perfect and dry and the guy didn’t even get it and air guitared back into the party and everyone was fighting over high-fiving me. oh and the guy dressed as hunter s. thompson had a boner and was rubbing it all over the room while we were dance partying to britney’s gimme more totally ruined the girl orgy i started with his wang. and then i told everyone about it and chad and fil wanted to fight him. tony has a video of the dance orgy i invented i hope it is as good as it looked last nite when i saw it. he lost his voice and was wearing a creepy long blond wig.
matt‘s show was very special and touching and a success.
heather already has a photoset up from the mg show last nite and the pre-party where it turns out the entire bar was there to only just look at me and not say hi until after i left. anyway here are the pictures i can’t right click save post them here cos she has that flickr spaceball.gif thing because she is SELFISH. ok i take it back she changed it steal away y’all!
tonite’s events include the fox and fiddle on bloor, just west of st. george, the same place we went for the last karaoke jam. do yourself a favour and wear some form of costume because everyone who didn’t last nite deeply regretted it and kept talking about how old they felt like wtf does that have to do with halloween? oh your costume is bitterness, awesome, see you never!
krista put my red makeup all over her face and then rubbed it all off, pussed out, but i think i am going to do that tonite and go as an extra from apocalypto, or mel gibson’s muse. everyone last nite was all duuuuuuuuuh why do you have red paint on your chest? why? WHY NOT!
waiting for radmad to get over here so she can park her car with her costume in it then we make our way to the venue to sort out tickets and whatnot then go to the library pub despite the doors opening at 7 what the hell why did we agree to meet up BEFORE the show with the internet? tony‘s flight is delayed or something so pitt was just driving around in a circle for the last hour and chad is wandering around yonge street hopefully looking for a costume and a mickey of whiskey for the after halloween party i told him he better get a costume. i have to make anticipation bowel movements i sit down and nothing happens i am stressed out, everything is so disorganized oh and we have to meet fil’s sister and her fiance and make sure they have a good time too i just want to get loaded and run away. i want to be wearing my costume already like it will somehow make things right. you’re welcome for the update all of vancouver that is reading my blog right now.
communicating SHUT UP telepathically does not work.
vancougar orders the heart attack platter the second he arrives. oh and he left his wallet on the plane too, what a genius. he got it back from lost and found good thing, do you know how much more annoying it would be to have to hang out with him, or anyone, who doesn’t have a wallet?
i think i’m done with the loose moose, the chicks touch the dudes on the arm when they speak like they’re told to, it’s basically a hooters except way more stupid. i was pretty close to saying you know your tip will be bigger if you STOP touching my boyfriend, we aren’t friends, i don’t know you, fuck off.
heart attack barrier.
sick.
ugly glasses.
pitt decided to monkeyswing from the underground parking garage’s pipes.
chad jersies him to lend a hand.
truth comes out, look a closet leafs fan here, perhaps now he will finally shut up with his boring and predicitble hating on toronto posts.
i didn’t realise the top part of those guys are patent leather jeez.
anyway now i want to talk about how many times i have heard ladies complain about slutty halloween costumes this year and while they have a point and i mostly agree with it, i don’t think the slutty costume scene should be written off entirely, though, yawn, some chicks DO throw on some ears and tail and voila, costume. people who do this aren’t fully comfortable with dressing up, so what, leave them alone you dress in a hipster costume 365 days of the year and you are left alone ps. those bifocals with the no prescription lenses aren’t fooling ME buddy!
moving on, the only time slutty is embarrassing is when four university students do it and link arms, i think that’s where the collective annoyance stems from, another, who cares, they’re in their own world, if you had the hot young body you’d do it too. which brings me to my walk home from sashimi last nite, i overheard two fatties, a dude and his lady and their big fat dog discussing halloween and dressing up and some girl’s party blah blah the annex yawn and then they said in unison oh yeah it’ll just be girls in their *pause for comedic effect* SLUTTY OUTFITS snort then repeat uh huhuhuhuh SLUTTY OUTFITS. up until this point i was pretty meh about it but this couple pushed me over the edge, not really, just enough to trigger ten other chick’s doing the slutty costume complaint ENOUGH ALREADY what are you going to complain about next how about something MORE obvious like having to nix merry christmas for something more PC because i cannot fucking WAIT to read those online musings in a few week’s time.
and the conversation between that couple was absolutely shrouded in bitterness, they were kinda nerdy/chic, chic being WAY generous, more like settling for nerdy chic because they are GIGANTIC. she is bitter cos all her friends can dress like sluts and she can’t, and he is bitter cos his girlfriend’s friends can dress like sluts and he can’t put his penis in them. within EVERY woman on the planet is a raging whore, don’t even try to deny it, even the most conservative, wait, especially the most conservative. so do yourselves a favour and save the social embarrassment to come when we are at the same halloween costume tonite, keep your mouth shut.
the point i am trying to make is, it is OK to be a prostitute for halloween AS LONG as your personality is not swallowed up by the costume, as long as you have a big personality to begin with and aren’t just going along with what your hotter friends are doing, though, good for you for knowing your place amongst them, if you are stupid enough to be friends with a gaggle of losers then fine have fun, angel wings.
this post was written entirely to justify the fact that i just discovered my stockings have patent leather on them and i don’t want to be pants’d all nite long in a ninja costume and i am not going to be a spring chicken forever so i think this might be the last year i can look like jarvis street.
ps. this isn’t a rah rah go women’s empowerment speech at all – women in the sex industry like to have long ethical debates just to make themselves feel better about dicks in their asses and cum in their hair, next.
this is my favourite video in the universe i am in a romance with it go away. if this is what the guy’s life is like every minute of the day i don’t know how he gets anything done. it took me watching it 5 times to get past 20 seconds without starting from the beginning all over again.
