i am going somewhere for my very first time ever EVER and if you can guess what this place is you will get a prize. put your guesses in the comments.
my ass isn’t flat in real life, that’s my underwear crampin’ my style.
did you guys see the bob saget roast last nite? it was funny, a little meh, my favourite joke was by that comedian who is always squinting, here it is:
JOHN STAMOS WALKS INTO A BAR AND THE BARTENDER GOES HEY WE HAVE A DRINK NAMED AFTER YOU AND JOHN STAMOS GOES YOU HAVE A DRINK CALLED SECRET FAG?
so alicia invited me over to go through garbage bags full of clothes she and joe had purged, she said bring steph, we walked over yesterday then fil showed up and we all scored big! feels so good.
so these jeans, 28s, fit me, as i was pulling them on i was like thanks guys for sending me into a depression spiral then ta-da fit like a dream. i may need to treat myself to some side crunches but other than that, v pleased.
remember how i was crying about wanting peacock feathers? (what a giant fucking baby right?) anyway, alicia gave me a ton of eccentric crazy lady jewelery, my favourite.
got a little greedy. the smaller bag is fil’s loot.
then our skidly little buddy came over for some brews, jackass, late nite salad and cloverfield (SUCKED)(cloverfield did).
skidfanie could not get over how my ass looks in these jeans.
creepin’ on me behind my back! alicia i hope you don’t regret passing that bag lady sweater on to me.
bacon i baked, fresh parmesan i lovingly grated, tomatoes, cucumber, spinach/arugula carrot mix w/ olive oil and jerk sauce dressing.
cid was being a mental cos we smelled like this cat that wandered into alicia’s place, it lives upstairs and when it shows up alicia holds it captive. such a cute friendly guy.
breakfast with dinky this morning, blazin’ sun, my unshowered scalp/hair was greasin’ up big time.
my tan is almost all gone, i’ll have to do something about that.
they totally burnt my bacon i was pissed, did nothing.
clothesplosion!
birthday gift for my niece, apparently it’s the toy of the year. i was torn between this kit or the cat experiments kit.
and one of these guys, remember them? there was also a bin of mexican jumping beans on the counter and they were rattling and jumping around. i stopped myself from buying any, i asked how long they last for, dude said til the new year. i’ve bought them before and they did fuck all. he said they probably froze at some point.
let me tell you about this book i’m rereading for the fourth time, it’s so perfectly dated and romantic and whimsical and sexy and sad and hopeful, the pages are yellowed, i nicked it from a bed & breakfast in bayfield when i was a teenager during family summer vacation, the room we had had this bunk-type loft double bedroom and there’s allusion to an apartment like that in this story, half-set between paris and london. if you consider yourself a fashion-conscious urban dreamy romantic hip lady, find yourself a copy of this novel.
in a nutshell, this parisian girl lives with her gay dad and his bf in paris, her mother died when she was born, her gay dad has an artisty sister living in london, girl stays with aunt, idolizes her, meets all her awesome friends, aunt dies (you find that out straight-away in the book so it’s not a spoiler), girl inherits aunt’s money, goes back to paris, grows up, cuts off all her hair, becomes assistant to big name photographer, has lovers, becomes heart broken, more lovers, someone dies, i forget how it ends that’s why i’m reading it again.
“I WAS MOVED, INVOLVED, AND HATED FOR IT TO END. I LOVED IT!” -LAUREN BACALL (favors caps lock yelling)
“A genuinely sophisticated entertainment…cunning social observation and sharp prose.” -Vogue
“A powerful story!” -Vanity Fair
didn’t get much reading or eating done, an old friend called and i lost my appetite completely on top of an already non-appetite thing going on, go stress demons go!
regretted outfit choice, way too much brown, and too hot for 3/4 sleeves made of volcano. also, these two dudes were eavesdropping on my entire conversation with old friend and then fil so on my walk home i self-consciously played back in my head everything i had said to decipher if it was fabulously scandalous or just insane.
raymi lauren said…
omg according to kindergarden raymi i am supposed to be a famous movie star like barbie by now with like $100,000 and kids and a red corvette and fur shawls and big blonde hair oh and then be madonna in my spare time.
and i have a chill BRRR i say, as well as fuck this!
not to freak you out or anything but last nite fil and i ordered our first PORNOOOOOOOO and it was TERRIBLE. we decided to scrimp on the price and went with this 5.99 number called 18 and F—able with the uck dashed out exactly like that. my review is this 1. these chicks were NOT 18 and 2. SICK! it was pretty obscene for us, we’re used to telemundo or showcase’s soft core lame shit or their reality shows that we’ve already seen every episode of so being confronted by this real deal business was a shock, on top of zero plot or acting, straight up doing it, raunchy, blah i’m so prudish now. anyway, we fast forwarded all of it with our clothes on and any arousal prior to this piece of shit was taken away. i was pissed because just before ordering i said we should just put my laptop on and check out youporn or redtube, which is what we did only after the fact. it took forever clicking through amateur bullshit to settle on something to be inspired by.
next time i think we should just buy a dvd.
also before all this we watched this doc from 1995 called wired for sex, about the INTERNET and CYBERSEX and TECHNOLOGY and if you have rogers on demand go to tv entertainment under cbc and order it free, you’re welcome for the laughs.
